Chapter Twenty-Three

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All was calm.

Judi hated it when it was calm. The next couple of days, everything seemed to die down. Everyone went to classes like nothing had happened. The memorial for the five students was held and everyone cried but then nothing. No one even spoke of them after that.

Zelda started hanging with Demetri all the time, so Judi never really saw her anymore. Sarafine was constantly playing trombone, and when Judi did get to see her that was all she would talk about. Annalise would hole herself in her room, trying to keep it secret that she was devastated by the absence of her roommate. But Judi could tell. Aquila talked Judi's ear off non-stop about some boy named Jasper. And Evangeline...no one had heard from. She wasn't showing up to classes, she wouldn't answer her phone, and Zelda even said she was never in the dorm.

It was like they'd all moved on.

Judi hadn't though. She wasn't giving up on finding Lynn.

So when she stumbled upon Evangeline in the middle of freaking nowhere one day, she was beyond shocked.

What was even more bizarre is that Evangeline is crying. Judi swears that Evangeline never cries, always hides her emotions from the others. The one time she'd seen her cry was right before she'd gotten shot.

Judi seems as though she's intruding. When the twig beneath her feet snaps, however, it's too late to turn back. Evangeline's head snaps up, her violet eyes dancing in the dying sunlight.

"What are you doing out here?" Judi whispers. "No one has heard from you in days."

Evangeline stands slowly – on shaky feet, it would seem – and Judi can tell she hasn't been feeding. Bags are under her eyes, making her look like she's been sleep walking. Judi frowns. Why isn't she keeping herself strong?

"Can I admit something to you?" Evangeline whispers. Her voice breaks, and Judi feels the fear climb into her throat.

"Only if you want to." Judi settles down on one of the rocks, noticing the river running right next to them. It seems to have a red tint, almost like it's tainted with blood. A river of blood, it would seem.

"Have you ever...killed someone?" There's a tinge of regret in her voice, and her black hair covers the side of her face. "Like...murdered an innocent?"

Judi is silent. Her heart hammers in her chest as she whispers, "Yes."

Evangeline doesn't seem surprised. "So...you've felt that sorrow, that pit in your chest, where it feels like you're going to crumble at any moment?"

"Can you feel anything else after taking a life?"

Judi watches as Evangeline's violet eyes slowly start to fill with a red color. "When I was a little girl, my mother used to tell me that crying was a form of weakness. Mothers always tell their kids how special they are, how everything will eventually work out for the better." Evangeline takes a deep breath. "When I became a vampire, I killed one of the most important people in my life."

"Was it one of your parents?" Judi whispers.

"No," Evangeline picks at a piece of grass. "My best friend."

Judi stays silent for a while, the wind rustling their hair. "I killed the one girl that actually loved me back."

Evangeline's eyes get glossy. "No one could ever give a crap about a monster like me. That much is certain. I was ready to die."

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