Losing Patience

[14]

And man I miss the times, we would shine, you would keep me on your side
You would teach me how to ride   and you would teach me how to pry
Then we get on the line and go over our lines
We were in the same position and that's when you change position, shit
(Lil Wayne x Miss My Dawgs)

Rich

No one knows how hard Heaven's death hurt me. So for ole dude to come at me in the hospital like that, triggered something in me. I'm usually always chill. I can't remember the last time I got off like that. But these niggas really trying me. I still blame Myself for Heaven dying. Patience was right. It should've been me, Heaven was only a child that got caught up in my beef.

I leaned back in my office chair as negative thoughts started to fill in. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. A pulled out my baggie full of powder and poured it on the table. I scraped the substance into a line and pulled out my rose gold snorter. I took one hit then closed my eyes tightly. Letting my high take my pain away.

I started doing coke a couple months after Heaven died. I just couldn't cope.

"Boss you got—" my security guard BG walked in and stared at me "Boss.. You gotta stop man."

I looked up and it was like I only saw red "you know what the problem is bruh?" I sat up in my seat and wiped my nose. "The problem is. Y'all niggas getting out of line. Tryna tell me what the fuck I need to be doing. Y'all losing respect for me. Y'all taking me as a joke now huh? Guess I gotta kill me a nigga to show y'all who the fuck I am."  I pulled my gun out and aimed. It's like the White flakes turned me into a different person.

"Boss, I'm just trying to get you some help man. I care bout you. We go all the way back to grade school man."
I cocked my gun. "Man come on I got a wife and kids!" He yelled. A tear slipped from my eyes.

"A family? The family that I had? The one I deserved! I lost my family BG! That li girl was fucking murdered! All because of me bruh. I have no fucking body. No girl, no friends, no family. Do you know how I feel nigga??" He backed up slowly then ran for the door.

POW 💥 POW 💥

I stood in the same spot for five minutes.. What did I just do.

I started to walk over to BG's slumped body, but before I could make it my knees buckled. I latched onto the table and all of a sudden i got a migraine. My body started to shake and I could literally feel my heart beat slow down.

THA-THUMP..
THA-THUM..
THA-THU..
THA-TH..

My eyes rolled back as I tried to regain consciousness. The last thing I remember was grabbing my phone and trying to call 9-1-1. But I think as far as I got was "9-1-" before I blinked out.