Chapter Nineteen

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IMPORTANT INFO: I'm going to start a new story soon and I need you guys to help me choose what to do.

1. Write a new fanfic (either Calum, Michael, or Luke) 

or 

2. Have a book of imagines that vary from all the boys from 5SOS 

Please comment what you think I should do :) I'm leaning more towards the imagines but I like the classic regular story too 

Enjoy!

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The entire night Ashton glared at me from his seat. Meanwhile, I sat confidently and happy. I proved to him that I wasn't putting up with him anymore and that I've moved on. It took me a second of thinking that this was a big, very big, step of me getting past Ashton.

Truth or Dare was over and now people started to get up to leave. Luke left and Michael was just about to go and I wasn't trying to be alone with Ashton and Jess. I said goodbye to Mikey and walked over to Calum, a grin on my face. He didn't look as happy, if anything he looked worried. He was cleaning up so I decided to help him. Since the bonfire was already burning, we burnt a lot of the stuff we found. I it wasn't trash or recyclable we burned it. I picked up a hideous neon orange bikini top with fake, chunky pink diamonds and threw it in the fire. 

"Hey Cal."

"Can I talk to you?" He asked, not looking me in the eyes.

"Sure, whats up?" 

A quick flash of panic ran down my spine. What if Calum didn't want me like that anymore? Sure he said he could treat me better than Ashton but that was a week ago, maybe his views have change. What if I messed up everything? I don't think I could loose Calum, he was my anchor. 

"Was that kiss real? I saw that you guys where playing Truth or Dare and Ashton was over there. I figured he set you up to it and you did it to provoke him." Calum looked down, rubbing his shoe on the sidewalk. 

"Well first he did dare me. I don't know if you saw but there was another man behind you and Ashton dared me to kiss him. I didn't want to kiss him so I kissed you. I did want to provoke him but its not like that. I can't really explain it but kissing you helped me take a big leap in forgetting about him. I proved to myself that I don't need him." I said, being completely honest. 

"Really?" Calum said, his eyes lit up a bit with that familiar brightness.

"Really." I answered and he smiled, his adorable smile. "Also, while we are being all honest, I'm really sorry for putting you through all this drama. I certainly didn't expect my college days to be like this." 

"Its alright. I've never met anyone quite like you and I'm willing to put up a fight." He said and I could feel myself growing red. 

"I'm also sorry if I caused a rift in the friendship or the band." 

"It's nothing. Ashton would never quit the band and we are all still best friends, we just don't really show it all out there."

"Good." I said and for a good change, a comfortable silence filled the air. 

I stepped up to Calum and gave him a hug, he deserved it for all he has done. 

Once I let go someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned around and saw Jess standing with an annoyed look on her face. She turned to Calum.

"I left my bikini top here, have you seen it? And can you hurry up, I'm trying to go to Ashton's place."

I knew she added the last part for me, it left a pang in my chest. So he's taken her to his apartment before. But then I resisted the first part, about the bikini top.

"Wait, is it orange with pink diamonds on it?" I asked, acting innocent. She glared at me with her venom gaze. 

"Yes."

"I burned it. Oops." I said, trying so hard not to laugh.

"You bitch! That was designer!" 

When she said that I lost it and let out a laugh. 

"You left it behind so it got burned. I have a hard time believing that ugly thing was designer." 

She looked like she wanted to strangle me.

"Maybe if you didn't rush top take your top off for any boy your top wouldn't get burnt." I said and then turned around and walked into Calum's house, leaving Jess to gawk. 

I couldn't help but laugh as I got inside. I laughed until my sides hurt. Soon Calum walked in and saw me laughing on his couch.

"What was her reaction?" I finally managed to get it out between my laughs.

"She stood in shock for a second before truing around and mumbling something about 'a skank ass bitch' and something about Ashton."

"I can't" I was laughing even more. 

I finally stopped laughing, I was now sitting on the couch with Calum.

"Do you want to go back to your dorm?" He asked and I looked at the time. It was almost midnight, but I needed to shower and I had classes tomorrow.

"Yeah, I'm going to go back, got classes tomorrow." 

Calum and I got into the car and on the way to my dorm I was falling asleep. When Calum pulled up he gently shook my leg. After we said our goodbyes I walked down the hall to my dorm. I opened the door and saw Ashton on the couch. No, I blinked and when I opened my eyes again he was gone. I was just seeing things. 

I changed into pjs and climbed into my bed. Ava was fast asleep and Kayla was gone, probably with Michael. As I was drifting off the ache in my heart grew stronger. I craved for someone's arms around me, someone's touch to make me feel safe and secure. Someone's sent on my pillow. Again I felt like crying. It was so complicated. I make a step in moving on from Ashton but at night, when I'm alone, I crave him.

Then it hit me, I was using Calum. Whenever I felt lonely I would call or text him. I would tell myself it was his touch I wanted, denying it was Ashton's I wanted. I was using him to fill the hole in my chest. I was such a terrible person. A couple tears fell onto my pillow that no longer smelled of Ashton.

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Thanks for reading! 

Please comment about the stuff in the first authors note!

A little bit of a short part because it's midnight right now and I wanted to post for you guys. Next post probable next Thursday or Friday :)

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