What About Forever {l.s}

IIII

Harry's POV

It turns out drunk-Louis is a Louis I don't want to be around. He becomes extra loud and obnoxious and starts to make me nervous. He keeps touching me, but not in an affectionate way, more violent and rough. Like pulling me by the arm or hitting me when I disagree with him. I want to tell him that his childhood fears are coming true, that he's following in his father's footsteps. Finally, I settle on telling him that I think he should cool down on the shots and he tells me to "Fuck off." I leave him with Liam and Brad to go talk to Niall for a bit.
I spill my feelings to poor Niall. Not everything of course, just that I came to hang out with Louis but he's too busy partying it up with his drunk friends.
"I think Louis is the kind of guy that likes to live life to the fullest, ya know? He's just trying to have fun, don't take it personally. Anything he says right now is the tequilla talking, not him." Niall reminds me.
About an hour goes by and I push past people to get to the bathroom. On my way there, a girl in short shorts and a crop top stops in front of me to block me from walking. I try to steer around her but she starts to provocatively dance, rubbing her body up against mine and holding on to my hips to prevent me from escaping. I hear someone whistle at us and someone else yelling "Ooh, get it, Lindsay! That's my girl!"
"Get off!" I scream in panic after her hand grabs for my crotch. I feel tears in my eyes and my heart racing, and I know a panic attack is coming on. I push the girl off of me, causing her to stumble and fall. People around her are yelling rude names at me, acting as though I'm the bad guy for defending myself.
I ignore everyone as I make my way over to the kitchen to grab Louis so we can get out of this place. All I want is for him to be holding me, making me feel better. Making the feelings of disgust that the girl brought on go away forever.
I find him sitting on the counter surrounded by a bunch of people.
"Louis!" I call, trying to get his attention from over people's heads.
"Are you gonna do it or are you gonna take another shot?!" A tall guy yells to Louis.
"Fucking do it already!" Someone else shouts.
"Okay, okay!" Louis says. He slides himself off the counter, putting down his cup. He then reaches over, placing a hand on Bradley's face who is standing beside him, and leans in to kiss him. They start making out as everyone around them screams and takes out their phones to record.
The panic attack doesn't come but the tears do. I feel them pour from my eyes as I stand frozen, watching Louis' tongue dance with Brad's. My Louis. That should be me. I'm filled with so much pain in my heart that I feel it physically. I think I may throw up.
"Need a room, faggots?!" Someone says. I automatically cringe at the word but then bring my attention back to Louis when I realize it was directed to him.
Louis pulls away from Bradley and turns to look directly into the eyes of the guy that the remark came from. The guy towers over Louis and I know he's much stronger than him. They stare at each other for a few seconds and everyone quiets down until Louis punches the guy straight in the nose. Just like his father.
Soon, punches and kicks are being thrown and everyone is recording and hollering once again.
I rub my eyes before for the second time, I push my way around the group of people to make my way to Louis. I can be mad at Louis but I can't watch him get hurt.
The big guy is curled up on the ground; Louis had kicked him in the balls. I stand behind Louis and wrap my arms around the front of him, pulling him towards me.
"Can we please leave?" I practically beg, my voice shaky.
"Yeah, I'm done here." He says.
I walk with my arm around him, supporting half of his weight because he's so intoxicated that he can barely walk. I take him back to my room and into the bathroom where he throws up, and then clean up his nose which was bleeding from the fight.
"You can sleep in Zayn's bed, I guess. He must have slept over with someone. I don't think he'd mind you in his bed for one night." I tell Louis.
"I wanna sleep with you."
"Ehm, alright."
My bed is not very large but it fits me and Louis. I stay near the edge, a distance away from where Louis lays because I'm not in the mood to be touched by anyone, not even him.
I jump when his body inches closer to mine and he's up against me, his hand resting on my side.
"I know it's not something you're into, but maybe we could do some stuff right now." Louis says, his hand now traveling around my body as I squeeze my pillow in my arms. It's the last thing of the night I need to trigger a panic attack. I start crying again, but this time sobbing. I get out of bed to get my anxiety medication.
"Okay, okay, I get it. You could have just said no. Fucking cry baby." Louis mumbles.
I want to tell him about the girl at the frat party that made me feel so helpless and vulnerable and how he just made me feel that way again, but I know he won't understand, especially in the state of mind he's in.
I down my pills and then get back into bed with him, allowing him to wrap his arms around me. I attempt to regulate my breathing to his, something I used to do when I had panic attacks. He was always there, the only one who knew how to calm me down. And here he is. My heart has ached to be in his arms again for the past five years yet somehow it doesn't feel right.
He had made out with his friend and it wasn't me. I'm no longer his boyfriend, he doesn't even know my sexuality. He really has no idea of who I am or what I've been through, what we've been through. It's over.
"Lou? Did you really forget about us?" I ask.
He's passed out. My question is lost into the night.

lemme know what you think maybe? :) love you
x emily