What About Forever {l.s}

VII

Harry's POV

It's now eight pm on Monday and Louis just texted me asking if he could spend the night. He said that Liam's girlfriend is over and he needs to get out. It honestly surprises me a lot because I was sure he wanted nothing to do with me after I retreated from his house after he offered a hug the other day.
Early this morning we had pyschology and he barely talked to me the entire period. I could've sworn he was intentionally avoiding conversation with me so I mostly kept to myself, only to catch swift glances of him when he turned his head. He had again been wearing the lavendar jumper.
I text back telling him he's always welcome here and that he can show up whenever.
"Louis' spending the night... if that's alright." I say to Zayn who's busy chowing down on leftover pizza.
"Oh, yeah, of course. Would you rather me go to Madison's then? Leave you two alone?" He says with a wink.
"No, stop it."
"Seriously. She wanted me to come over earlier but I said I was busy. I'll just tell her I changed my mind." He says in between chews as he finishes off the pizza crust.
Madison is a girl that Zayn has gotten very close to. I guess he likes her, but I definitely don't. I don't like the way she looks at Zayn and I, like we're objects. Zayn doesn't see it. He thinks she's perfect but I know he deserves better.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to leave. Louis and I are just friends. We could all have a nice night together, just some lads having a good time." I tell him.
"It's okay, Harry. Besides, you and Louis need to talk, it's better if I'm not here."
It's nine at night when Louis arrives, and he's wearing sweatpants and a white tshirt, his hair down in a fringe like it was earlier.
"Zayn's not here." I say awkwardly while he drops his bag on the floor, proceeding to make himself comfy on my bed.
I sit down next to him.
"Hey, do you have your homework done?" He asks. He reaches for his bag and then pulls out a folder.
"Yeah."
"I know this probably isn't your ideal way of spending your night but could you maybe help me with this? I wasn't really paying attention in class." Louis asks.
...
"So what do I get in return for this tutoring session?" I say after helping him complete his math and pyschology assignments.
"I don't believe I have anything to offer you." He thinks for a minute. "Well, how about I tell you a secret."
"Go on." I say with a smirk.
Louis repositions himself so that hes laying on his side, his head propped up with his hand.
"I think I like someone," He says. "But I don't know how to tell if they like me back."
"Who?" I busy myself with moving his stuff off the bed and fixing the blankets, not wanting to make eye contact.
"I'd rather not say. But yeah, I'm just so afraid I'll lose him."
"Well," I search for the right thing to say. "Um, if they seem to enjoy your company, and they like you as a person, then I think you should just go for it. I think it's always good to tell people how you really feel." I say.
"Yeah. Hopefully my feelings are enough."
I finally look over at him, only to see that he's already looking at me. And it's at this moment, as I'm staring at his light pink lips and tired eyes, that I realize how in love with him I really am. I just wish he knew it, but maybe he already does.
I look away.
"I'm tired. You can put something on." I say, handing him the tv remote.
He grabs it from my hand and I notice something when he moves his arm. I take his wrist in my hand, and turn it over to reveal several, recent looking scars covering his skin.
"Lou..." I gasp.
He yanks his arm away.
"Can you not?!" He snaps.
"Did you do that to yourself?" It feels like the night I found out Louis was hurt by his father. I can't decide if it's better or worse that now he's the one hurting himself instead of someone else. Well, it would be better if he wasn't being hurt at all.
He sighs. "What do you think?"
"But why would you-"
"Because maybe it makes me feel better! I've been going through some stuff emotionally and if I haven't already made it clear enough, I don't want to talk about it! So could you just drop it please?!"
The way his mood flips like a light switch makes me worried because I fear one day I'll say the wrong thing and cause him to never speak to me again.
"Stop yelling at me." I whisper.
He runs his fingers through his hair.
"Whatever. I'm going to sleep." Louis says, getting up and leaving my bed to go over to Zayn's. I study his perfect sun-kissed body as I watch him slide off his pants and shirt, only to be left in his black boxers before getting into bed.
I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and when I come back, the lights are off, the only light being the brightness coming from the tv screen. I shut it off and climb inti bed, then make an attempt to fall asleep quickly.
I can't shake the feeling of being abandoned. I was really hoping Louis would sleep next to me tonight.
"Louis...?"
"What?!"
"I just... I don't want you to hurt yourself. If you ever need to talk to someone, I want you to know I'm here for you... I care about you more than you'll ever know."
"I don't want you to think I'm suicidal or anything. It just makes me feel better to... yeah, I don't know," He sounds calmer. "I hadn't done it for a while, I first did it when my boyfriend broke up with me, which was when I was like fourteen. I made friends that kind of helped me through it and I've been over doing it for all these years but the other day I just got depressed. It's not gonna happen again, though."
"The sweater-boyfriend? Was it the sweater-boyfriend that broke up with you?" My head is swirling.
"Yeah," He giggles at the thought. "The sweater-boyfriend."
When I fall asleep, I have a dream about Louis' dad hitting his mum. Then suddenly it's not his dad anymore but it's me, and it's not Louis' mum, but Louis, and I keep hitting him but I'm crying because I don't want to hurt him but I feel like it's out of my control.
I wake up panting and I feel a tear escape my eye. I stare up into the darkness for a few minutes, trying to relax myself enough to fall back to sleep. But I worry that if I do, I'll have that dream again so whenever my eyes begin to close, I force them open again, fighting sleep.
Eventually, I get out of bed and tiptoe over to Zayn's. Louis is nearly snoring and it makes me smile to myself. Without thinking, I climb into bed beside him and nestle my face into his back, all of the bad thoughts drifting away.
He makes a little groaning sound.
"Sorry." I whisper. He must think I mean for waking him, but what I'm really sorry for is leaving him in the first place, even though it wasn't really my choice. But he had seemed okay, I didn't think me being gone would affect him to the point of depression.
"Harry?" He asks, his voice extra raspy and groggy.
"I couldn't sleep." I mumble.
He turns over so that his body is facing me, and then pulls me closer to him. He smells like vanilla and mint.
"Goodnight, Harry." He says quietly, his head resting on my chest.
"Goodnight, Louis." I smile.
I fall asleep within minutes, beginning a dream about when Louis and I first met.

so who do you think Louis likes? :)
Btw, it's 9/11 so my prayers go out to anyone lost in the tragic events and all of the families that were affected as well.
also, im sick ugh.
p.s i update on friday, saturday, or sundays.
much love,
x Emily