What About Forever {l.s}

XVIII

Harry's POV
song reccomendation for this chap- Red by Taylor Swift (even tho shes a snake and i hate her, i like some of her songs and this one kinda fits this chap so go with it)

"Lou," I grab his arm before he can walk into the building once we arrive back on campus. The night has now fallen and it's extra dark tonight.
He shakes me off of him.
"Please." I squeak.
He locks eyes with me and I think he sees the weakness in my face. He slowly begins to nod his head.
"Okay."
"I just need to talk to him for a minute." I ensure Liam.
As he walks past me he leans in and whispers to me. "Walk him in after."
Louis hears and rolls his eyes, but he knows Liam's right. We can't take any risks with Louis after all that's happened today.
"Hurry up. It's fucking freezing." Louis says as he sticks his hands in his pockets.
"I know." I say as I watch Liam enter the building.
I blow out and see that my breath is visible in the cold air.
"You're not even wearing... oh, this is your jacket." Louis realizes, beginning to unzip my coat.
"It's okay."
"No, you're shivering." He says as he carefully lays the jacket around me.
"Thanks." I say sheepishly.
"What did you want to talk to me about?"
I actually am not so sure anymore. I just needed to talk to him period, and for him to talk to me, and here I am and I can't find anything to say.
I shrug and look at the ground. "Doesn't really matter I guess."
I pull the jacket sleeves on and zip up, goosebumps running down my skin.
"Are you okay? I mean overall, because everyone's been worried about me but I know you must be shaken up too."
Unexpected tears begin to fall from my eyes and I wonder if he can tell in the dark of the night. It's not necessarily because I'm upset, but more because deep down, I've been waiting all day for someone to ask me how I'm doing, even though I even wanted the attention to be all on Louis.
I shake my head. "No. I'm not."
I instantly wrap my arms around myself, something I do when I begin to get upset, when I need comfort.
He sees and brings me into him. "Oh, Harry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I shouldn't have let you be up there with me. I should have known better."
The whole thing actually seemed to affect me more than it did Louis.
"I thought we died, Louis. I thought we fell in."
"Me too. But I just remember feeling your heart pounding and thinking that I needed to calm you down. But then I was like 'wait... his heart is beating. We're alive.'"
"I don't want you to die on me, ever, ever, ever." My sobs are muffled into his chest.
"I'll try my best. And for the record I wouldn't have really thrown you off. I hate seeing you hurt and I would never try to hurt you. Even though I know I already have." He says sadly.
"Did you really want to die? Or was it just a cry for help?" It comes out harsher than I intend.
"I-I don't know. I never thought you would find me but you did and... I don't know. I was sort of expecting to be gone right now. I shouldn't be here."
"But you are."
"Yeah." He exhales a deep breath. "I am, aren't I?"
"Look at the moon," I point to the sky. "And all of the stars. It's pretty, isn't it? And you're alive to see it."
"Yeah, it's beautiful. So are you, Harry. You're such a beautiful person. So beautiful. I am glad I'm here right now."
I blush.
He tilts his head back and I can see him smile as the moon shines down on him, and I cling to the idea that the stars are shining just for him tonight.
"Louis?"
"Yes?"
"How could you forget about me?" It feels good to finally ask him.
"It had been a long time since we dated, since I saw you."
"But you can't pretend what we had was nothing and that we were was just kids with crushes. I mean, I can't speak for you but at least for me I know that dating you, even though we were young, was one of the best I've ever gotten to do."
"Me too. It's not that I forgot about you, actually I still thought about you nearly every day. Whether it was putting on your sweater or just seeing something throughout the day that reminded me of you, I always found myself thinking back to simpler times when we would just have so much fun together. I just didn't realize that you were you."
"Oh. I should have just told you the truth in the first place."
"But I could never forget about you, Harry."
"Hey, do you want to go back to Zayn and I's tonight? Liam can come too. We're having a movie night." I ask.
"No," He says.
"Oh... okay." I bite my lip.
"Sorry, I just... I just can't."
I rub his shoulder. "Lets go in then, shall we? Before we freeze to death." I smile.
I walk with my hand on his back, his arm wrapped around my waist, and I swear even the Man on the Moon can tell I'm in love.
We stop at his door and I realize that I'm about to leave him for the night which scares me a lot. I'm so afraid I won't see him again if I leave right now.
"Alright, well-" I trail off, not knowing how to leave off when we've had a day like we did.
He's not opening the door and I'm not turning around to leave and I'm not quite sure what were doing because we're just standing facing each other,me of course towering over him quite a bit. I'm looking into his blue eyes and he's looking into mine and I'm now stepping closer to him. He glares down at my lips and back at my eyes and I do the same.
I lean forward, but he puts his hand on my chest, stopping me.
He takes a step backward. "I can't." He says.
"Sorry, I just thought..."
"No. I'm sorry. Goodnight, Harry."
The door swings open and Liam stands in the doorway. Louis smiles at him before dissapearing into the room.
Liam furrows his brow as he sees the disappointment on my face. I just shake my head.
He thanks me and I leave. Without a kiss.
I walk to my room my and when I open the door, Zayn jumps up off of his bed.
"There you are!" He shouts.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry I'm so late. I would have texted but an emergency came up."
The clock above my bed reads 9:00 pm.
His eyes widen. "Oh, what happened?"
"Get one of the movies started and I'll make some popcorn, and then I'll tell you. It's kind of a long story."

"remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
tell myself it's time now, gotta let go
but moving on from him is impossible
when i still see it all in my head,
burning red"

i had these two chaps mostly finished on friday but i just edited it a lil so here ya go, im gonna be kinda busy next weekend bc your girl actually made plans instead of being a lazy piece of shit but ill try to start the next chapters during the week (i usually do that anyway) but ill try to finish them on like thursday and have them up on friday either that or late saturday but yeah byyyeee
x Emily