What About Forever {l.s}

XXV

Harry's POV
Song- Habits, Tove Lo

   On Wednesday I pass Louis holding hands with Jacey after class and I watch them kiss eachother goodbye. I go to the store and purchase a big bottle of wine. I pour myself a glass the minute I get to my room, gulp it down, pour the next, and so it continues. I hate drinking, I really do, but it's the only way I can escape for a while. I need to forget, about Louis, Jacey, about everybody, just for tonight.
   I drink until I finally pass out, the only way I can get sleep in without Louis here. I wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and the wine bottle is empty on the floor next to my bed. Zayn's bed is untouched meaning he never came home last night.
   On Thursday, I'm talking to Louis when a guy with dark facial hair taps him on the shoulder.
   "Hey, you wanna go to my mate Dylan and I's party tomorow night? There's gonna be a lot of booze, a lot of cool people." He says to Louis.
   "Ah, thanks for asking but I'm actually going out with my girl tomorow."
   "Oh, I see. As long as you're getting some, I'll take it as a valid reason." He grins and Louis laughs. "What about you, you're invited if you're not busy." He says to me.
   "Can't, but thanks. I'm busy tomorrow as well." I lie.
    I get home to an empty room. When I text Zayn to ask where he's been, he tells me he's back with Madison. I grab my keys and to the store for another bottle of wine. I can't be alone tonight, not sober. I drink myself to sleep again.
   On friday, I feel like shit from all of the alcohol I've been consuming, but I force myself to get up and shower. I don't have any classes today which means I have way too much time on my hands.
   I open my messages to text Alison to see if she wants to do something today, when I see that Louis' conversation is the most recent opened. I click on his name to see all of the drunk texts I forgot I sent him.
6:06pm. hey
8:45pm. hey
8:50pm. Louis
8:50pm. please.
10:13pm. hows jacey, did u tell her youre gay yet
10:13pm. ill just tell her myself if you're gonna lie to her
10:14pm. you could do better anywat
10:14pm. anyway*
11:38pm. im not gonna really say anything to her im just drunk and pissed and idek why im pissed and idk if i have a right to be and i just really need u right now
11:47pm. did you block me
11:49pm. im sorry i should be being more supportive, if u do like girls too thats ok but i dont think shes good for u i just get bad vibes from her
11:50pm. i just love you and i dont want you to get hurt
11:54. im drunk because i dont want to think about u...its not working
11:50pm. and i wish you loved me back
11:51pm. i see u all the time but its not enough, i always miss u
11:51pm. i guess im just jealous of her and im sorry, ill leave you alone now
1:57pm. hi lou, just wanted you to know im still up. because you're not next to me. and im imagining you next to her and nothing hurts more
2:10pm. i passed out for like 5 mins and had a bad flashback. woke myself up with a panic attack. wish u were here so bad.

   I sigh. I feel so much embarassment over the things I sent to him. I hope he blocked me.
...

"Well... at least now he knows how you feel about him and her." Alison says, trying to find something to say to comfort me.
   "Ugh, he probably hates me how. I told him I was gonna tell her he's gay."
   She stands from her bed and gets her purse. "Come on."
    "Where are we going?"
    "To clear your head."
   I get into her car, still unsure of what's happening until she pulls up at Bernie's Brew.
   "I don't think I should be...I still have a hangover from last night." I say.
   "What's one more drink?" She winks.
    "A death sentence." I answer but proceed to get out of the car.
    When we walk in, there's already a barnfight taking place. I definetly don't want to be here. But I know Alison thinks this is going to help so whatever. I'll give it a shot...literally.
    Ali orders us both some sort of cocktail and I finish mine off in less than two minutes.
    "Wow, Harry I'm impressed. You don't seem like a hard hitter." She says with a measly sip of her still full drink.
    By the fourth drink, Alison and I are obnoxiously singing rock and roll songs, and by the fifth I'm leaning in to kiss her. She backs away quickly.
   "What are you doing?" She asks, flustered by my action.
    I can't seem to find an answer.
    "I'm sorry." I tell her.
    "No, I mean it's okay, you're a great guy. I just don't think this is what you want."
    "He's with her right now."
    She rubs my back. "I know."
    I down two shots.
   Two more drinks later, I'm stumbling over to the bathroom when I trip and bump into a table, knocking over someone's drink.
   "Sorry." I murmur.
   "Hey!"  The burly man at the table yells. "You gonna pay for that?!"
   "No." I say laughing.
    "You think this is funny, kid?" He stands up to face me.
    My vision is doubling but I can make out his dark chocolate eyes. They look angry.
    I start to cry and step back, but he just steps closer.
    "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
    "No, kids like you think they can get away with anythin', it ain't right I tell ya!" He raises his arms and I jump.
     All of a sudden someone is grabbing onto me from behind.
   "Let go!" I scream, attempting to free myself.
    "Harry, it's just me." Alison says.
    "Oh, you got your little girlfriend to try'n save your ass?" The guy folds his arms.
    "I'm not his girlfriend but what's the problem here?"
    He goes off on a tangent about his drink and teens nowadays.
    Alison apologizes and gives him the money for another drink and finally he backs down.
    I flee to the bathroom but she follows.
    "Wait! Are you okay?" She calls.
    "You can't be in here." I mumble but then I collapse on the bathroom floor.
   "Hey, hey, it's okay." She consoles, crouching down to me.
    I start to sob, holding my hands over my face. "He was gonna hurt me, he was gonna-"
    "But he didn't." She says, seeming confused. She reaches out to touch my shoulder.
    "No, stop! Don't touch me. Louis! I want Louis!" I wail.
    She touches my thigh where my pocket is but that only causes me to freak out even more.
   "Then can you hand me your fucking phone?!" She demands.
   I give her my phone. I hear it ring and ring and I don't think someone is gonna answer until next she says "Hello?"
    "No, no, um, this is Alison. I'm a friend of his."
    "No, listen, I'm at the bar with him and he's wasted, he almost just got into a fight with someone and-"
   "Yes. And he's freaking out or something and he can barely walk and I've been drinking too."
    "I don't think you understand. No, like he's crying."
    "I know, he's asking for you."
    "The one down the street. Yeah. Alright. Bye."
    I look at her.
   "He'll be here in ten." She tells me.
    "Who?" I ask, oblivious in my drunk state.
    "Louis."

this sucks so bad omg im so sorry but i rewrote the first chapter, u should read it and give me feedback, its way better than before and much better written than this one lol
thanks for 1k !!
x E :))