What About Forever {l.s}

VI

Harry's POV

The morning after all the frat party excitement, I wake up with fear and confusion as I feel weight holding me down. I squirm around in attempt to free myself but exhale a deep breath when I turn over to come face first with the sleeping, brown-haired boy.
He looks the same when he sleeps as he did when he was young, so peaceful and pure. It puts me at ease listening to his heavy breathing, seeing his lips form a little smile as he dreams.
I could watch him for hours but am interrupted by the noise of the door clicking shut.
"Harry? You awake?" I hear Zayn's voice whisper.
I roll out of bed and onto my feet.
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go grab some breakfast with me... is that Louis?" Zayn asks when he notices someone still asleep in my bed.
"Uh, yeah he um, got drunk at the party so he stayed the night. And yes to breakfast." I say on my way into the bathroom.
I brush my teeth and splash water on my face. My eyes are red- I hadn't slept very well the night before. I kept having nightmares that involved Louis attacking me, him forcing himself on me, and when I woke up in a panic I would resist the urge to wake him up and remind myself that Louis is safe... but is he? I don't even know Louis anymore... do I?
I return to the room and see that Louis is still sleeping.
"He can come too but you're waking him up." Zayn tells me as he brushes his hair. I go over to my bed and gently shake him.
"Louis, time to get up." I say quietly.
He groans and pulls the comforter over his head.
"Zayn and I are going to get breakfast, do you want us to bring you back anything?"
He pokes his head out from under the blanket, his now open eyes looking up at me.
"Hey, we could check out that new diner you were telling me about the other day, its just right down the street." Zayn says to me.
"Oh yeah, okay. Louis, you're welcome to come if you'd like."
"Alright. Oh, my head hurts." He mumbles as he begins to sit up.
Louis walks back to his dorm to get ready and while we wait for him, I tell Zayn about the frat party and the way Louis acted.
"So he was drunk though, right?" Zayn says.
"Well...yeah, very."
"Then forget about all that. He doesn't seem like the kind of person to just start a fight, he's not violent. That wasn't him last night." He defends Louis just like Niall had.
"Yeah."
...
Louis comes out of his room wearing his darkwash jeans with my lavender sweater. He catches me staring at it and I quickly turn away.
We take Zayn's black SUV, him driving and me and Louis seated in the back.
"You wear that sweater a lot." I blurt.
"Um... okay. I wash it, I'm not a disgusting pig if that's what you're getting at." Louis says.
"No, ehm, I just mean it must be special to you."
He turns to look out the window instead of at me.
"Yeah. The person I got it from was pretty special." He says softly.
"What was he like, your bo-" Louis nudges my leg and shoots me a look. I come to the realization that he doesn't want Zayn to hear about him having a boyfriend. He really doesn't want people to find out. But if he didn't remember me, why had he told me about that part of him? What had made him feel like he could trust me?
"Yeah, he was my best friend. My whole life, my everything," Louis continues. "and then one day he just left, moved and left me all alone. But I still have his shirt." He says the last part with a smile, but he sounds sad.
"Yeah? You ever still think about him?"
"Not really, I sort of forgot about him. I blocked him out I guess. I can't even think of his name." He says laughing. "But I think it's best to not dwell on the past."
I feel like he's giving me advice, telling me to move on from him, but really he's telling it to himself.
I fake a smile then change the subject but deep down I'm filled with so much angst because how could he keep looking into my eyes and still block out what we used to have?
...
Eating breakfast with Louis and Zayn brings me back to when my mum used to drive Louis and I to our favorite diner some Saturday mornings. We would both order chocolate chip pancakes and home-fries and juice and coffee, and he would have to listen to me complain about the sticky syrup getting all over me with every bite.
Then after we ate we would walk to the park and play football in the fresh Spring grass, him making fun of how bad I was at it, and then we would go to the playground to swing on the swings as he told me funny stories about senseless things.
After we finish eating, Zayn drives us back and Louis asks me if I would mind walking with him back to his dorm.
"I need to talk to you..." He says.
I look to Zayn for reassurance. "Go ahead, I'll take the food back." He says while taking the styrofoam boxes from me.
"What did you want to tell me?" I anxiously ask Louis once on our way to his dorm. His is quite a ways away from Zayn and I's as well as being in the opposite direction.
"I just wanted to apologize for last night." He starts.
"Oh, it's fi-"
"No, I shouldn't have put you in so many uncomfortable situations. It's just, that guy really pissed me off and I had to teach him a lesson. I don't like people who think they can get away with doing whatever they please."
He was talking about the guy he beat up. I mean, I never blamed him for being angry but I don't think violence ever solves anything. I was more mad at him for putting himself in the position to potentially get very hurt. If something were to of happened to him I'm not sure what I would have done.
"Why did you tell me? That you're gay?" I ask.
"Well I didn't exactly, but I don't know. I just felt like I could trust you right off the bat. It's just something about you." Louis says.
"You know you... you made out with Bradley... last night. People recorded it." I remind him. I wait for him to tell me how much of a mistake it was, that if he had been in his right mind that it never would have happened.
"Yeah, well if people know, they know. They'd find out eventually. It's whatever I guess."
I want to also bring up that he had wanted to fool around with me last night, but if he didn't remember it I didn't want to remind him and risk making it awkward between us.
I keep my talking to him to a minimum for the next few minutes to ensure that I won't slip up and accidentally ruin things with him.
We get to his room and Liam is at the door.
"I thought you were passed out somewhere!" He says to Louis.
"I was, in Harry's room." They both laugh and I'm not sure if I should just leave or not.
Finally, they both turn and look at me.
"Okay, well um it's been fun... see you tomorrow maybe." I say, trying my best not to come off as rude.
"Yeah, thanks, Harry. You have my number, right? Feel free to call or text me whenever." He says.
"Thanks for making sure Louis didn't kill himself... or someone else last night." Liam says while walking away.
"Yeah, of course."
Louis and I stand facing each other and I know I need to leave but my legs won't listen to my brain. I'm waiting for something but I'm not sure what.
Then all of a sudden Louis is leaning towards me with his arms open, but I flinch and take a step back. It's possible that that was what I had been waiting for but yet I couldn't do it.
"I ehm, I gotta go." I say, backing out the door.
He bites his lip and looks at the ground with blushed cheeks.
"Oh. Bye."
The last thing I hear after closing the door on Louis is Liam saying "What the hell was that?"
When I get back to my room, Zayn asks why I'm crying and I ask myself the same question because I wasn't aware that I was.
"Louis tried to hug me and I ran away." I say, unsure of if he'll get it or not because I sure don't.
"He cares about you, Harry. Let him." Zayn responds.
"What do you mean?"
"You like him, don't you? And he likes you too. So stop running away from him, just let it happen."
"But I'm not sure what it is that's happening. It seems right but it feels all wrong." I say, popping an anxiety pill into my mouth.
"There's no right or wrong, you just gotta do what makes you happy."
"Well what if murder made me happy? You think if I killed Louis it wouldn't be wrong?"
"Well when you put it that way." Zayn says, laughing.
"How did you know I like him? And what makes you think he likes me?" I say nervously as I play with my fingers.
"It's just the way you look at each other. I can feel it, the love."
"Then why can't I?"

I started school so sorry if my updates arent frequent ugh school ruins everything. but its cool bc i read larry smut during study hall ;) not kidding... ok, comment, vote, ect, love you bbys
xx Emily -BTW HAPPILY JUST CAME ON SHUFFLE IM WEAK BYE