Be Still My Heart

Chapter 8

Talking about the crash was hard, but telling Aiden his part was going to be even harder. He was one of the reasons why I had changed and now I knew he knew that.

I went home and cuddled up next to G. I liked having him home but I know he's going back soon. Once he's gone I don't really know what I'll do.

After a little bit, we made spaghetti and garlic bread. You would think it'd go horribly wrong but actually, it was amazing. I may be biased because I hardly ever have a home-cooked meal but I was in heaven.

We did have one setback when Georgie forget to take out the garlic bread so we had to make another box which came out perfectly.

I ate much more than I have in a while. Home-cooked food always seemed to break through the barrier my body had put up when it came to food.

"Camryn, I have to go back to school. I wish I could stay but classes are starting so there's not much I can do. I'll be back before you know it and if there's an emergency don't hesitate to drive down. I'm only a few hours away and I'd love for you to see my new apartment and meet my girl."

I just nodded my head knowing there were tears brimming my eyes. I knew that he would eventually have to leave and I hated it, but there wasn't anything I could about it. He didn't know I decided to tell Aiden everything. I couldn't exactly tell him either because he wouldn't understand that I would confide in Aiden when he's been asking me to talk to him for years.

What will I do without him?

As I laid in bed all I could think about was that I had changed. I hadn't noticed it because no one had said anything so I just kept myself busy. So, if I changed was it a good change or a bad change?

If it's a good change then he wouldn't have said anything so it must be bad. Right? I was thinking about it too much so I rolled over and tried going to sleep.




Why am I in a car? It was raining and I didn't have to turn to know who would be driving. When I did I saw my big brother again.

"You're dead. This isn't real." He laughed and I flinched.

"What do you mean I'm dead? Cami, do I look dead to you?" As he said that his skin started to turn an awful grey color. It peeled away and showed pink underneath.  I fought back the urge to vomit.

"No! This isn't real. Bubby, I went to your funeral four years ago. In a few minutes, a drunk truck driver is going crush you."  He bitterly laughed.

"You stupid little girl if you weren't such a cry baby I would've lived."

Just in time, that truck came but Camdyn looked like himself again. The sudden change made me scream as the car jolted and flipped.

I jerked up and my body was covered in sweat. The tears made my face feel tacky and my whole body felt stiff. I got out of bed and make my way to the bathroom with shaky legs. I turned on the water hot enough to make my legs turn red.

I stood there until the water got cold and my toes went numb. I didn't know what to think. My dreams have never changed. They have come and gone and sometimes they're more frequent but that's the only change.

Never have I once seen his flesh rot off of him. But I've never fought the nightmares before either. I've always known it wasn't real but tonight I tried to stop it. Somehow doing that made it worse, made it change.

I can't get the image of his muscles being exposed. Seeing his veins running down his arms while the grey skin just peeled away. I shivered at the thought and pushed it away. I've always known deep down that when you die your body deteriorates but when I imagine my brother that's not what I see. I see him singing in the car and playing video games with Aiden.