I am Widow

Chapter 44

I stay overnight at the hospital. Joe is sleeping in the couch. He has been a good sport about all of this. Although Jessica told me he almost punched Paul.

I am watching some morning cartoons and eating my breakfast. I need to get some nutrients to the baby and me. The nurses keep telling me I need to be stable and healthy.

I finish my eggs when Joe wakes up. He stretches, “Morning, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, just finish eating.”

He gets up and sits next to me. “You are going home today. I asked Briana if she could take care of you at home. I need to work.”

I just nod. He kisses me, like on my lips, and pulls away. “I always thought you will be having my kid. But I guess not all wishes come true huh?”

He is upset and disappointed in me. He hates Paul and I think even me now.

“I’m going to sign the release papers. I brought you some clothes so take a shower.”

I wait for Sarah to help me out and shower. I put some black warmers and a red t-shirt. I put my converse and head to the exit.

I come back to my house and sit in the couch. Briana arrived before we did, so she prepared brunch.

I pass since I am full, but the bacon called to me so I ate some. Joe gets ready and leaves.

Briana is siting with me on the couch. She touches my belly and rubs it. I don’t see any fat yet though. “I can’t believe you are going to have a baby.”

Me neither sister, me neither. I am not happy about it yet. The idea of me being a mom just isn’t getting inside my brain. I wonder if how Paul is dealing with all of this.

“Widow, don’t worry about anything. You are going to be a good mother.” Briana smiles. She reminds me of James so much when he isn’t acting like a jerk.

“Does James know about this?” I ask.

“No, my father can’t say anything about his patients. And I won’t tell because it’s not my responsibility to do so.”

I tell Briana I am taking a nap. I go to my room and lay down. I text Paul: Hi, you okay?

PAUL: Yes, I am. :) I couldn’t really sleep but I am fine. How about you? What did the doc say?

ME: Paul, you shouldn’t worry. It’s bad for you, I heard that you didn’t take your pills all day. & they just gave me a list of baby doctors and my mommy medicine I need to take every day.

PAUL: U are the one who doesn’t need to worry, and I am OKAY. When it’s your first visit to the doc?

ME: In 2 weeks from now, are you going with me?

PAUL: Great! Can I go later and see you? I wanna talk right.

I say yes and say goodbye. I feel tired so I take my nap.

…

Paul comes after school to my house. We are sitting on the couch watching the local news. Briana is making some brownies since I want some. I guess when you are pregnant, people give you food.

“I don’t know how I am going to tell James. Does he have the right to know?” I ask Paul. He is touching my belly, he really seems happy about this.

“I don’t think so, but this belly will grow and everyone will know. You would not be able to hide it when you are 4 months. I guess it’s better for him to know coming from you,"

I really don’t know what I am going to do. How is Jackson going to react to all of this? I will definitely hurt him and I don’t want to.

“Widow, are you even going to school?” Paul asks. I turn to him, “Yes I have to; I need to have a diploma as fast as possible now that I have a baby coming. And like you said, I need to face the music.”