A Beautiful and Terrible Truth

Chapter 8

I stayed in my room for the last week that we were at the beach. I couldn’t handle everything that had been said between Kam and me.  I just needed some time alone, and surprisingly, everyone gave it to me. I needed to think, and I mean really think. Not the silly, immature thinking that I had been doing with Ron. No, I needed to be alone and have quite so I could concentrate on what I really wanted in my life.

 I wanted Kam – of course that was obvious. She was my best mate, and it had been our very first fight. I mean, we’ve had stupid little, itsy bitsy fights, but we’ve never had a monster blowout just like the one we had several days before then. Who would’ve known that it would’ve been over getting over a boy – and she actually wanting me to stay with him?

I wanted Ron – of course, yet, another obvious choice. He had been like a brother to me up until that point in time, but I then had no idea what I wanted him to be. I just knew that I wanted him in my life. I didn’t want to lose him. Not one bit.

I wanted Draco – who didn’t see that one coming? I was in love with him. Whether or not I was completely in love with him was the question I was seeking to answer. I wished that he didn’t have to be so far away. What I feared most about mine and his relationship was that it was over and was never going to be there again. I wondered if that meant that he was the one for me, but then my mind aimlessly wondered back to Ron.

I was so confused.

I was so empty.

I was so alone.

My life had derailed, and I had no idea how to get it back on track. I hugged my legs to myself as I stared out the window from the arm chair, watching the waves crash onto the shore. My eyes were so dry from days of crying and lying awake. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine my paradise, my own little slice of heaven. I had been able to retreat to it before when I was certain what my paradise would be. Before I spent the summer with Ron, I was completely sure that I belonged in Draco’s arms. Now that a certain pair of deep brown eyes are upon me, I’m completely tossed out of the arms and left in the cold wind. Nothing could make me feel better but knowing where I truly belonged.

My life is exactly where you belong, and I won’t pretend that you don’t.

Draco thought he knew where I belonged. I thought I knew where I belonged right in that moment as well. The stars twinkling down on us and us wrapped around each other felt right. It was just the magic of the moment that made me truly believe those words that he had spoken to me.

But…I want to believe.

I want to believe in fate.

I want to believe in destiny.

I want to believe in fighting for what you want.

I want to believe that you only have one true love your whole life.

But how am I supposed to when a love like mine and Draco’s can be torn apart as easily as it can be made? We had been taken away from each other with no hope for a future. I used to believe in fighting for him, but that’s when I knew I could win. I couldn’t win out in the real world. Big and bad Voldemort would be bound and hell-bent to take him away from me…again.

There was a knock on my door, and it opened to reveal Alex carrying a tray of tea. “Might I be able to come in?” she asked, her green eyes begging me to say yes, so I nodded.

“What happened between all of you? You and Ron were getting along just fine before Kamrynn got here,” she asked, setting the tray on the small table before me. “It must be bad to cause you to hide in your room all week.”