His Mortal Bride

♱Chapter 13♱

Alec's P•O•V

I lost all control completely. Smashing my lips against Raven's was one of those moments that I knew I'd never forget. Her lips were so soft against mine. So warm. All I wanted to do was feel her perfectly plump and ample lips. It was the most intense thing I'd ever felt. My head was clouded in the overwhelming ecstasy of it all. It just felt so natural. I held her neck and kept her close to me, not wanting to let go.

I let out a soft growl and latched my hands onto Raven's hips, my fingers gripping tightly at the hot skin. It took everything in me to prevent myself from hurting her as I pushed her against one of the stall doors. Her hands laced into my hair, my skin prickling with the sensation of her touch. I could feel her mold to my tall figure. She moaned against my lips in a soft whimper.

In that second I froze.

The heat I felt between us went ice cold as I felt the regret wash over me. I parted from her lips and detached my hands from her waist. She was trying to catch her breath but starting to gain composer after seeing the look on my face. I looked her up and down with wide eyes, not believing what had just happened.

"Alec?" Raven said in her angelic voice. "Alec, what's wrong?" She furrowed her brows as I started stepping away from her. Her confused expression turned to one of hurt surprise. Her swollen lips turned into a frown as she ran her hands through her hair, looking away from me. Her heartbeat was rapidly increasing, no more relaxed and calm.

"This will never happen again," I said in a threatening voice. I looked over her once again before leaving in the blink of an eye. No looking back, I told myself as I stormed into the woods. The horses stirred as I sped past them as a gust of wind, dry leaves fluttering around me.

I could only feel regret. Regret and guilt. The wind breezed past me as I weaved through the trees. Everything was blowing by so fast as I ran further and further away, yet the waves of remorse and shame hit like slow stabs to the chest. I had been so angry and so sucked into the moment that I thought that once I was away from the castle - away from her - it would feel better.

Yet, I didn't.

I stopped running and found myself slumped against a tree, my forehead pressing against the ancient bark. I was panting, not because I was tired, but because I didn't feel any better than I had the second I realized what had happened.

I could feel my canines brushing against my lower lip. I couldn't have controlled myself if I stayed. The thought of her fragile figure in my grasp only made my thoughts stir with flashes of what a nightmare would look like. Broken bones, bruises, and blood. All of which wasn't mine.

I opened my eyes, tearing myself out of those thoughts. Instinctively she was mine. Mine. But I never wanted it to be like this. I never wanted to force her into this.

Growing up I saw how every married vampire loved their spouse. But this only made me think of how each and every woman or man that had been turned, never had true feelings until they, too, were dead.

They never loved their spouse until they were forced by the instincts of their vampirism. The realization hit hard. It just didn't feel right. Trying to wrap my head around someday having to do that to Raven... It was an impossible thought. This whole thing had been a lie. All my hopes of having a bride of my own, a Soulmate of my own, were lies. I couldn't love Raven. Not with how I could see everything clearer now.

I was dead. Dead men don't love. Dead men don't feel. And all my feelings for her were lies as well - instincts. I didn't feel anything for her and I never would. This whole time I thought that finding my Soulmate was about finding someone I'd love one day. When all it really was was an instinct that every vampire had to fulfill so we would never live alone for eternity. And for me, it was just some damn duty as future King.