The Asset - Mark Tuan and Got7 Fanfic

16 - So Lost

As soon as the nurse said I'm ok to go, I go back to my apartment. I immediately dip in the tub, feeling a bit better as I soak my tired and spent body in the steaming water. But, I tear up again as events of the past days flood my mind. A lot of things happened that I regret. The biggest regret of all is allowing myself to be in those situations. 

I can't even say that I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Because everything was planned. They killed Ryan and set me up for his murder. I was put to jail and made as an asset just to catch whoever this high ranking official is and, personally, to get revenge on Ryan's death. I was fucked, beaten up and used just so I can get in this gang. And because of that, I turned my back to my old group and turned to a murderer. Most especially, I lost my baby I didn't even remember was there. 

I became a convict, a whore, a spy, a liar and worse, a murderer only in more than two months. 

Now, I don't have anything to lose. I'm already in my lowest and my soul is burning in hell anyway, what else can I not do?

The only thing I can do now, is try and get Byul away from this kind of life. But, that is becoming harder. I haven't seen her since we talked the other day. I heard one of the boys took her somewhere. I can't even ask Yugyeom for help anymore. I'm already sorry for what I'm putting him through. Besides, he doesn't talk to me that much. What more if he knew I'm working for the force? He wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger on me then. 

The hard cores are not around. I'm guessing they're back to their schooling or whatever. 

My mind is at a chaos. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm not sure who to trust either. I feel like I'm losing my purpose as time passes. 

Yugyeom said that Ryan did something to deserve it. But, what did he do? What did the others do? Byul was also about to say something about it before Yugyeom interrupted. What was it? I tried calling her but her number is already out of reach. I'm just hoping that she's not back in JB's basement being tortured again. 

I report to Paul about what happened to Tiny, skipping the parts where I was the one who killed him and that I was jumped by WOLFs because they knew I did it. I didn't tell him who shot them at the tracks either when he asked me if I knew anything about it. I saw it on the news though. Nor did I tell him that I was in Mark's place for the past days. Most especially the fact that Byul is already in the GS. I didn't tell him a lot, actually. 

He's becoming more and more suspicious of me, I notice. And so, the following days, he visits me in my apartment more often than before. I'm guessing he's already planted a bug somewhere just so he can monitor my every move. I check my things before going out to do my deliveries, searching for devices he might have put in them. But, I'm no expert in these things. 

I'm guessing, he's also following me around. I think I spotted him more than once, lagging behind me as I make my way to drop off some packages. 

He keeps on bugging me about going to Mark's house and wiring it. But, I don't go there these days since they're not in town. I just meet Jackson, Bam or Youngjae outside in cafes or bars for orders. 

In short, I'm getting nothing. I can't even ask them about Byul for fear that Paul has wired me. I don't know why I'm hiding things from him. But, I feel like I can't really trust him to save me. 

A month passes by without anything major happening. Paul is getting impatient every day since I don't have anything to report. 

"Why are they not doing anything yet?" He asks one night as he paces my living room with a beer in hand. 

"I don't fuckin' know." I tell him, furrowing my brows. I'm already getting a headache with his constant nagging on the same topic. 

"When are they coming back?"