Ordained - Jyler Fan Fiction

twenty six

Song of Chapter: Deathbeds by Bring Me The Horizon

Tyler's POV

"I missed you, I missed you so so much" Jenna mumbled into my chest, her hands clenched on my jacket. She sat curled up in my lap as we sat in the living room, the TV on but muted, only allowing the picture to illuminate the room.

"I missed you too" I whispered, my chin brushing against her hair.

"Did you really mean what you said yesterday?" She squeaked, still not moving her head.

"Mean what?"

"That you loved me"

"Of course I meant it Bella, and I don't say that lightly"

I was being completely honest when I meant I didn't say it lightly, the concept of love being something I couldn't even grasp on today. Yes, I loved Jenna, but love was something I truly feared, like giving my all to someone who has the tools to crush me whenever they wanted. I trusted Jenna with my all, but the concept was still terrifying.

"Well," she took a deep breath, "I love you too" Jenna's head looked up to meet me, her lips curling into a nervous smile. I stroked her hair back as she closed her eyes, her eyelashes curling ever so slightly against her cheeks.

I still couldn't believe I was holding her in my arms once again, her touch being what I missed the most. The first night I came home, we both had a long discussion about what I missed being away, Jenna informing me about her multiple doctor appointments and chemotherapy. I felt like this time she was being completely honest, but I couldn't help but tear up slightly at the thought of her constant pain.

Jenna was good at hiding things, and I knew that she ached every conscious hour.

--

Jenna's POV

Screaming

I awoke in my bed suddenly to the mattress shaking furiously, the sound of screeches filling my ears. It took me a while to snap into what was actually occurring, the event being like one you would see in a horror movie.  I looked over to Tyler, scared of what could possibly be happening, his skin shining from the moon.

"Tyler!?" I shrieked, his whole body covered in sweat as he squirmed on his back. "Tyler! Wake up!"

Tyler's legs kicked around, his arms tucked into his neck, scratching at the irritated skin that wasn't broken. His eyes were still closed, the drips of sweat falling down his temples.

"Tyler please!" I shook him, trying to hold down his hands from hurting himself. He was still screaming, each yelp hurting my heart each time. Tears fell down his cheeks as his body wriggled, myself trying to lift him off the mattress.

I was too weak to lift him up myself, yet Mark wasn't home for me to call for him to help. I tried lifting his torso up in my arms, his legs dragging across the floor as I brought him to the bathroom. He was still squirming uncontrollably, his skin sticking to mine.

Finally, I placed him on the floor of the shower, pulling off the layers of clothing constricting his skin. Everything he wore was drenched in sweat, as if it was dipped in a pool of luke warm liquid. I began to take off my pyjamas as I realised I would have to go in the shower also, the rush causing me to leave my shirt on.

As I turned the water on, Tyler's eyes shot open, still filled with tears. I hopped in the shower with him, the cold water heating up as it hit both of us.

Tyler gasped for air, clenching onto my arm as he shot back into reality. He looked around, his hair falling in front of him, creating little droplets on his face. His face expressed pure terror, looking around furiously as he held onto my soaked shirt.

"Tyler! It's okay, shh, everything's okay" I tried to calm him, pulling off my shirt before holding him closer. The feeling of wet cloth was horrible, and the vulnerability of the both of us was the last thing on my mind. Tyler's lips quivered as the water dropped into his mouth, his whole body shaking and I squeezed him tightly.

I had no idea why this was happening, and what could cause this, but it didn't matter right now, all that mattered is that Tyler was okay.

"I'm- I'm so sorry" he cried, his body tucked into his knees as I held him.

"Shhhh" I hushed, clenching his body in my arms. His muscles shook yet his skin was still warm and sticky, My hand stroking through his drenched locks of hair.

The water was still rushing over us, our bodies squeezed together as he pushed his head against my chest. I could feel him sobbing, his yelps coming out slightly no matter how hard he tried to push them back.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry" he repeated, stuttering the same sentence as he rocked back and forth.

"Ty baby, it's okay" I whispered into his hair, letting the water gather around us. "You're okay, everything's going to be okay"

Tyler's sobs became louder, his whole chest heaving with each sound. It broke my heart every moment, just holding him and watching him tear himself apart made my whole soul concave.

"I love you Tyler, I really do"

--

Within an hour, Tyler seemed to calm down, our fingers pruning up from the everlasting water. We both sat face to face with our legs crossed, my hand cleaning up the sweat from his pores. We sat in silence as he held his eyes closed, almost as if he was embarrassed to look at me. I scrubbed his naked body lightly as I tried to clean him up, eventually going in to wash his hair.

I finally felt it was time to turn the water off a wrap Tyler in a towel, putting a towel around myself afterwards. We didn't speak a word to each other as I began to dress him, putting on warm clothes to protect him from the cold air that lingered. It was probably almost sunrise, but it was the weekend, and I really didn't feel time was against us.

Before laying Tyler down, I quickly dried off his hair with the towel, brushing it with my fingers just to stroke his scalp lightly. I could still identify the little specs of sadness in his face, tears pooling out every so often.

"I don't deserve you" I heard a croak, Tyler's voice raw from the screaming.

"What are you talking about?" I whispered, stroking his temple with my thumb as I placed myself next to him under the blankets. "You deserve more than I could ever offer"

"Never leave me" his voice cracked, a single tear rolling down and landing on the pillow case. As I looked into his chocolate eyes, I found his hand and held it tight, my eyes flooding up with the emotional liquid our body disposed.

"I promise"

A/N

Deathbeds is one of my favourite songs and it never fails to make me emo

Soooo yeah I felt like I make Tyler out to be this perfect human when there is no such thing so here's something to tickle your fancy

Also I watched Nerve today and the girls name was Vee and I was like no excuse you my name is Vie go away

~ Viella (Vie 😉)