Playing with Fire

e p i s o d e | e l e v e n

I sit on top of my bed, hugging my knees. I've never seen Kai have a conversation one-on-one with Rowan, ever since their falling out. I wonder if both of them are okay. I doubt that Kai would start anything physical, but no one can really be sure about Rowan.

How could I have been so stupid? I walked to the park; I could walk myself back home. I'd assumed that Kai would be out longer, I suppose. It's my fault that they ran into each other like this.

I hear the front door open and close, and immediately perk up. That was fast. That means they didn't get into an altercation. I kick myself off my mattress and run to my door, peeking out through the crack between it and the doorframe. I see Kai approaching my room, and immediately jump into my desk to pretend like I'm occupied.

There's a knock on my door before Kai walks inside. "Anna? Can I talk to you?" he asks. His voice is calm, as usual.

I don't look at him. "Oh, um, sure."

He closes the door and then sits on top of my bed. I can feel him staring at me, as if expecting me to say something first, but I keep my mouth shut. Nothing good will come out of me trying to make excuses. After a long while, Kai finally lets out a sigh.

"Anna. You lied to me," he says.

My head snaps sideways to face him. "I did?" I ask obliviously.

He nods. "That second day you went to the library ... I saw you with Rowan. I didn't say anything, because I knew you had a reason for not telling me. But I do know that you ran into him." He holds up a hand when I open my mouth to defend myself. "I'm not going to ask if it was intentional or accidental. I'm just going to ask why you feel like you can't tell me the truth anymore."

I press my lips together before finally turning my whole body towards him. I guess we're going to have this conversation now. It was inevitable, I suppose. "That's easy, Kai," I respond coolly, keeping my spiraling nerves under control. "It's because of how much you hate Rowan. And I tried – I really did – but ..." I trail off. But what?

Kai takes in a deep breath. "Anna, do you know why Rowan Hawthorne lives by himself?" he asks.

I shake my head, suddenly interested. "Do you?"

"Of course. I've known him for years." He looks at the wall vacantly, as if trying to recall something in his mind. "Well, not that long, I suppose. I found out, though. His mom died when he was eight, just like you. And his dad ... he's in prison."

"His dad's in prison?" My jaw nearly drops. How did nobody know this? "For what?"

Kai looks back at me with a severe gaze. "For killing his mom."

There's a long silence in the room, before I fully process what he'd said. And then I feel a wave of revelation wash over me.

"He's lived in foster home after foster home," Kai says, "until he finally moved out on his own this year, after he turned eighteen." He puts his arms on his knees and leans towards me. "Do you understand this, Anna? That's the kind of past that Rowan Hawthorne had. And that kind of thing doesn't go away."