Playing with Fire

e p i s o d e | t w e n t y - s i x (pt. 2)

I didn't know that I'd manage to be this calm throughout the weeks succeeding my division with Rowan. I can't tell whether it's because I genuinely don't feel anything from our separation, or whether I've had so much practice repressing my negative emotions that I can now do it at will. Either way, I manage to get through the next couple of weeks without interacting with him at all. 

I still steal a couple of glances of him now and then, and it looks like he's moved on, too. He'll be talking to his friends, or allowing his female admirers to ramble on about how much they adore him before class begins. It's as if someone has taken a remote controller and rewound my life back to the week after spring break started. Everything almost seems like it's back to normal.

Of course, Valentine still avoids me. I'm not sure whether Kai told her that I've broken up with Rowan or not, but I've never been able to get close enough to her to say it myself.

Sawyer's reaction was worse. She'd been sorely disappointed to hear that Rowan and I had split after such a short amount of time, but even more shocked to hear that his father was on the loose and had been the one who murdered my parents. I expected her to jump on my side, then, and encourage me to forget about Rowan. That would have been extremely helpful. Instead, she was against it.

"Anna," she had said to me, concern marking her face. "Rowan did make a mistake in not telling you about who his real father was, considering that he knew that his dad had killed your parents. But if the reason you're avoiding him is because he's related to that man, then I don't think that's fair. You're assuming that he's at all responsible for what his dad did."

Of course, I had vehemently disagreed. It's not because of that, I'd said. It's because he lied to me.

I knew that it wasn't true. If Rowan had lied to me about anything else, I probably would have learned to get past it. But the fact was that his father had killed my parents. And now, if I looked at him, I would be forever reminded of the past that I'd done so much to erase from my memories.

But I wanted to be right. I didn't want to have the slightest regret for leaving him. So, still, I continue telling myself that I did the right thing. I'd rather play it safe than burn myself playing with fire, right?

I don't know.

He had been there for me. He had protected me. He had shown me what it meant to fall in love.

And at the same time, the truth that he had refused to tell me inflicted the greatest hurt upon me that I'd ever felt in my life – apart from my parents' deaths.

I lie in my room, facing the ceiling. It's eleven on a Friday night, but neither Valentine nor Kai had gone to a party. Everything is so ... dull.

My phone starts vibrating with a call, and I glance over at it, not wanting to move. Who could be calling me at this hour?

When I look at the caller ID, my heart nearly stops. Rowan Hawthorne. A million thoughts race through my head. Why is he calling me? Should I answer? Would I be able to live with myself if I didn't? But didn't I promise myself that I would never speak to him again?

I swallow my fears and shakily answer the call. The voice on the other end, however, is not Rowan's. "Hello?" it asks.

I blink. "Hello?"

"Oh, dear. This is Anna Silver, isn't it?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

There's a sigh from the other end. "Well, it's hard to explain, but I work at the bar near Rowan Hawthorne's house." Some muffled commotion buzzes through the phone, before the voice snaps at someone else, "Yeah, yeah, kid. I got it. Hold on. Hello?"

"Sorry, but what's going on?" I ask, suddenly nervous.

"Okay, well ... Hawthorne here has passed out. Well, almost. He's pretty much on the brink of losing consciousness. He kept saying that you were his girlfriend, and then saying that you weren't ... anyhow, he's an absolute mess. I don't know who you are, but your photo was on his home screen, so I just supposed that you might care enough about this idiot to take him home."

My heart starts racing indecisively. "Um – where did you say you were again?"

"It's called 'Church's Bar' and it's just a ten-minute's walking distance away from Hawthorne's house. Take him off my hands, would you?"

The phone clicks off after a moment of stifled noise, and I slowly lower the phone from my ear. Rowan's at a bar right now? If I went to help him ... I wouldn't be useful. I can't stand to be in the sight of alcohol, let alone inside of a bar.

But at the same time ... he would have done anything for me.

I quickly grab my jacket and call Sawyer. She answers warily from the other side, "Anna? Why are you calling so late?"

"Sawyer, I'm really sorry. But I have one more favor to ask of you."

As I hurl out of my room, I nearly run into Valentine. She quickly jumps backwards, before noticing my outdoor attire. "Where are you going?" she asks grudgingly, refusing to look me in the eye. "Decided to go out on a late-night date with Hawthorne?"

I bite my lip. I'm in somewhat of a rush, but I don't want to brush this off. "Val, I broke it off with Hawthorne weeks ago."

Valentine's eyes suddenly widen as she looks up at me. "What?"

"We're not –"

She suddenly grabs my hand with hers. "Anna, is it because of me? Is it because of how I was acting?" She starts bouncing on her toes. "I'm sorry. I was going to apologize sooner, but I just couldn't face you, because I was so embarrassed with how I acted –"

"Val, it wasn't because of –"

Val just shakes her head. "I swear, I was just hurt when I realized that you hadn't told me and that Kai already knew. But I don't have anything against you and Hawthorne anymore – in fact, I don't even like the bastard. So, if you broke it off because of me ..."

"It wasn't because of you," I assure her, patting her on the arm. "But thank you, Val. And I'm sorry, too."

She just smiles at me. "We're cool, Anna. Right?"

"Always." I glance over her shoulder impatiently.

"Oh, by the way," she says slyly, a coy grin suddenly appearing on her face. "I held this back for a few days, just to get my revenge on you ... but Benji and I started going out."

I stare at her. "Excuse me?"

"I'll tell you about it later!" she trills triumphantly, skipping back towards her room. "You'll have to wait, just like I did!"

Ismile to myself a little as I run out into the night air. I guess some things are capable of fixing themselves.