Ada
My hands are trembling while I'm sitting at the edge of my bed. Syete naman o, ano ba itong ginawa ko?
I totally flunk when it comes to decision making. My impulsive self is playing a huge part in this.
I thought kasi na baka pag-pumunta si Daddy dito sa bahay, magkakaayos na sila ni Mommy but I was obviously wrong. Parang mas lumala pa nga, eh!
This is not easy as I think it is.
Minutes ago, after kung umakyat dito sa kwarto ko para kunin ang cellphone ko which is a complete lie dahil ang totoo, nandito lang naman sa bulsa ng pantalon ko ang cellphone ko— nakarinig ako ng sigawan sa baba.
I'm sure na si Mommy 'yong sumigaw. I don't know what's happening downstairs but one thing's for sure, they're arguing.
I'm so stupid for making a move without knowing its consequences.
Akmang tatayo na sana ako nang biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko, revealing Mommy, she looked, calm and nonchalant? Okay, what just happened?
I thought na sisigawan niya ako at papagalitan sa ginawa ko dahil wala akong karapatan na mangimasok sa problema nila ni Daddy but, she didn't. Contrary to what I imagined earlier, she's calm.
"Mommy, I can explain." I was about to stand when she motioned me to sit down, kaya umupo na lang ulit ako.
"Stay and talk." mahinang ani nito, I can sense irritation coming from her voice. I sighed, kasalanan ko talaga 'to.
"Akala ko po kasi, kapag pumunta si Daddy dito sa bahay, magkakaayos na kayo. All I thought na mag-uusap kayo ng masinsinan and then boom, maayos na ulit ang pamilya natin! But I guess I was wrong, sorry, Mommy kasi, hindi ko man lang naisip ang nararamdaman mo. Sorry po talaga kasi sarili ko lang ang inisip ko. I'm really sorry, Ma." I explained and apologized, nakayuko ako kaya 'di ko makikita ang reaction ni Mommy and I'm not willing to witness it either.
I heard her sighed. Umupo siya sa kama at niyakap ako kaya para naman akong nabunutan ng tinik dahil 'dun, I hugged her tight too. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya as she caressed my hair.
"Listen Ada, I know na nahihirapan ka na sa set up natin and I know you missed your Dad a lot too. Kahit ako, nahihirapan na rin, eh. Sobra, kung alam mo lang." pagkwento niya. I can feel tears streaming down my face.
Ano ba iyan! In this age, napakaiyakin ko pa rin talaga.
"It sucks being separated with the people you love, but unfortunately you can't do nothing about it. Alam ko kung gaano mo kagusto na mag-kaayos kami ng Daddy mo, but I guess, that will never happen. The scar of our past will always haunt me Ads, everytime I look into his eyes, it pains me." mas lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabi ni Mommy. Hearing those words coming from her made me helpless.
I don't know what happened between her and Daddy back then, but I guess, kung ano man 'yon, malala 'yon.
I broke our hug and looked at her, namumula na rin ang mga mata niya at basa ang pisngi niya, she cried a lot, too.
"Mommy, alam ko po na nasaktan kayo sa mga nangyari kung bakit kayo naghiwalay ni Daddy, hindi ko po alam kung ano 'yon but I guess it's pretty horrible." I said, "But Mommy please, I don't have the rights to say this but please, give Daddy a chance. For me, for us. He's ready to prove himself Mommy, just give him a chance." I added.
I can now call myself pathetic and desperate woman, sino ba naman ang hindi gustong mamuhay kasama ang boung pamilya niya?
"Ada, it's not that easy." she reasoned out, ayan na naman siya sa mga dahilan niya. This is what I hate about Mommy, she always have a lot of reasons.
"Then try to make it easy! Palibhasa kasi Ma, you're not even trying!" 'di ko naiwasan at napalakas na pala ang tinig ko, Mom looked shocked and surprise at the same time dahil sa inasta ko.
Shit, Adhara ano namang ginawa mo?
"Ma, I'm sorry. I did—" she cut me midsentence when she raised her hands to stop me.
"So, you think I'm not trying to make things better? You don't know the sacrifices I made just to save this family, Ada. You don't know.. " and that's her final cue before leaving my room.
Napatulala na lang ako. Iyan kasi! Napakaburara ko naman! What have I done?
Mas lalo lang gumulo ang lahat!
I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialled someone whom I know can comfort me more than anyone.
"Hello? Meet me at the usual spot ASAP."
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Destinesia
Fanfiction(n) when you get to where you were intending to go, but forget why you were going there in the first place. 「 A LeAga Fanfiction 」
