May
August
My singin' career is really blowin' up! Even though I'm only 19 I feel like I'll be big and poppin' at like 21. Anyway, I finished The Product 1 and now I'm waitin' on the record label to hit me back up, but in the mean time I'ma still work on The Product 2.
I really don't know if me and Lindsey are together or not because I fucked up... again. I cheated on her while I was on the road promotin'.
Flashback
I finally got home, and I got some bad news fa' my ole lady.
"OH MY GOD! AUGUST!" She ran up to me and I spinned her around. This is what I missed, but it's gonna change really soon.
"So how was it? Did they like it?"
"Yeah, they loved it. I was pretty surprised." I sighed lowly and slightly rubbed my hands over my face.
I thought Lindsey wouldn't catch that, but she did.
"What's wrong?"
"I got to tell you somethin', " I grabbed her hand, but she didn't grab mine back, "while I was on this promo tour I.. Ummm.."
"Cheated?" She said below a whisper.
"Yeah, I cheated but wit' more than one woman."
She got up off the couch and looked at the promise ring I gave her a few months ago after we got back together. She wiped a tear that fell from her eye, and gave me the ring back. Then she left.
End of Flashback
I know y'all are like "August, you know damn well y'all ain't together" But she never said that we were broken up, so I'ma take that and run wit' it.
All I do is fuck shit up.
Lindsey
Ever since August told me he cheated, I've been getting closer to my friend Emmanuel.He's everything right now. He's considerate of my feelings, when we were in middle school he was always there for me, he's BEYOND sexy, and a lot more.
"So what's up?"
"What you mean?" I asked looking at him
"What's up with you and me?"
I shrugged my shoulders and laid down on his couch.
"I don't know. I mean, I get that you wanna be with me and all, but then again there's August. "
He turned his head to face the other way.
I'm not in the mood to argue with anyone anymore at this point in my life, so I just got up and left to go home.
----
"I have no clue about what I'm feeling anymore. My emotions are all fucked up."
"What do you mean?" Sky asked.
We sat on her bed and I stared at the ceiling.
"I just, I don't know about my love life anymore. I really and truly love August, but him and his cheating isn't working for me." I looked over at her and she nodded for me to continue, "And with Emmanuel, I don't really feel the spark I feel with Aug, so I refuse to settle."
"Well, I don't know either, but what I do know is, I'M GETTIN' THESE HOES!"
I started laughing and I hit her arm.
"I just can't with yo extra ass. Let's go to this kick back boo because clearly I can't have a serious conversation with you."
"When does it start?"
"11:00 and it's...Damn, it's 10:55"'
Kick Back
We got here a little late, well 30 minutes late, but it's whatever.Â
I sat down on the blue sofa with Sky and we pulled out some loud.
"YO! Ya'll got that good good!" Pam said. Her ass starting to get on my nerves too. Only because she's always so loud.
"Hell yeah. The fuck? We don't smoke nothin fake ova here!" Sky egged on.
This one guy Chris (Not Chris Brown) pulled out a backwood, took out the tobacco and then I rolled up the loud and we all gassed together.
My buzz was killed when I saw August walk in.
"Wassup y'all." He said and dapped up the people here and when we saw me he just stared at me.
"What are you staring?"
"Li, let me talk to you."
"For what?"
"Please?"
I sighed and got up. We went outside and sat on the porch.
"What do you want?"
"You."
I laughed and then finally caught my breath.
"You're corny as hell, and how do I know you being real with me?"
He get's down on one knee in front of me and then grabs my hand.
"Baby, I know, I fucked up. I wish I could go back and change what I did that night, but I can't! Me and you. That's all that matters to me. Me and you been down ever since I came outchea. You my ride or die. When that Devin nigga tried to kill me, you were there. When you got taken by yo uncle, I was there. Basically, me and you have been there for each other from the start. Lin, I love you. I don't mean to hurt you. I don't WANT to hurt you. You're my everything. Baybeh, please."
By the end of his speech I was in tears. I've never had a guy say something like that to me. That's how I know he's my everything, but this isn't right.
He wiped away a stray tear and cupped my face in his hands. He pulled me closer and then kissed me passionately with his plump lips.
"I love you too Aug. More than you think."
"Then let's go."
I shook my head smiling trying to withhold my pain, "but I refuse to me walked over and made out to be a fool. I'm not with that. You've hurt me to the point where I don't even trust you. Nine months August. We've known each other for nine going on ten months. Dated for seven and out of those seven you've cheated on me for two," I pulled my hands from his, "I can't."
