Beautiful Mistakes {Zayn M.}

Chapter 38

At the end of January, when Zayn was off doing promotional stuff, I was left alone again. I wasn’t technically by myself though. My parents decided to come to London for the two weeks Zayn was gone. In a way I was happy they were here, but at the same time I could only handle so much of my parents. Especially since they kept telling me how I was supposed to do things once Valentina got home. I know they had experience, but I wanted to figure it out on my own.

My mom explaining how to make bottles, and how to change diapers was starting to get on my last nerve. Valentina was seven weeks old now, if she was still inside me she would be at thirty seven weeks gestation, and I hadn’t done any of that yet. She was developing perfectly though. Her weight had increased, as well as her height. It was very apparent that she was getting better.

I still wasn’t allowed to hold her though. The nurses said that when her feeding tube was out that I’d be able to. Valentina was just taking her own sweet time getting to that point.

As for Zayn and I, our relationship was stronger than it had ever been. Even with him being gone most of the day for work, we found a way to make time for us. Whether it be at the hospital with Valentina or at home just talking to each other.

I missed him right now. His trip was almost over, but fourteen days without him was harder than I thought it would ever be. We talked every day, but it was only for a few minutes at a time. He was always so exhausted when these trips happened. All I would ever think about was when I was back in his arms.

That’s what I was thinking about right now. For reasons other than just a hug. I had just had an appointment for my first checkup after the delivery. Since Zayn was out of the country, I made my mom come with me. It was a little awkward when Dr. Mitchell said that the surgical incision healed perfectly and that everything relating to Zayn and mine’s sexual life could go back to normal. She turned into her very uncomfortable, conservative self when she heard that. She even started lecturing me when we were walking to the NICU after the appointment.

“Are you even listening to me, Rose?” She asked me, ridding me of every thought I had just had.

“No.” I replied honestly. I didn’t need to hear everything she thought about premarital sex or that fact that Zayn and I lived together. “I’m not sure I want to hear it either.”

Mom frustratedly ran her fingers through her curly hair. “Rose, I’m serious. Look what already happened. You have a kid. You aren’t even married. You haven’t gone to school, and your job isn’t the greatest.”

“I don’t care that I’m not married, I am still planning on going to school, and I love my job. Yeah my boss is a raging bitch, but I get to be around wedding dresses every day. I’ve even started sketching them again.” I explained.

“Yes. That may be true, but I don’t want another Valentina situation to happen. I love her to death. I really do, but with Zayn being so busy all the time I’m not sure you’d be able to handle having another kid running around. You don’t even know what it’s like to have her at home now.”

I stopped in the middle of the institutionalized hallway that was leading us to the proper area of the hospital. “Really? You’re going to throw that in my face right now?”

Her expression softened. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.  But I think you should really think about what might happen if you and Zayn decided to do anything. I know I can’t keep you from doing that. I’m just trying to look after you. You’re my daughter. I’m only looking out for you.”

Her words made sense to me. I knew I couldn’t let something like this happen again, but at the same time I wanted to be intimate with Zayn. The first time was so emotionless to me. I didn’t know how I felt about him, but not that I’ve gone through this entire experience with him, I knew that he was the one I wanted to share everything with. He was love of my life.