The Main Man - Seventeen DK

Too Many Apologies

We stay like this for five, maybe ten minutes. It's hard to tell when you've got your face buried in someone's chest. I cling onto him like my life depends on it, my arms fully round his waste as I sob into his hoodie. He protectively wraps one arm around my  waste, the other cradling the back of my head whilst his delicate hands run across my hair. They calm me down although I can't help but think of all the mistakes I've made leading to this moment.

He releases me eventually, hands rushing to my face so that the gently wipe away the tears in my cheeks. When I finally glance at him, his face is a mess of emotions.

Adoration. Sorrow. Love. Worry. Forgiveness. Anger. Humiliation.

Too many to describe though there is no need. I know how he's feeling. I feel it to.

"God I've missed you" he says, voice cracking. I can't express myself in words, pushing up against him instead. My breaths shake slightly at the thought rushing around. "I'm so sorry. I should've trusted you" he says.
"No DK, I should've explained." I argue back.
"It's fine, I know now - about Key that is - but I have so many other things I need to apologise to you about" he sighs.
"There is no need because I have just as many and together, it would take a whole night"
"We have a whole night" he says softly.
"I guess we do" I smile in reply.
"I still can't believe you're here"
"Nor can I." I say wistfully as he grabs my hands before I can put it back in my coat pocket. We walk to the end of the bridge, in step together. It's as though nothing has changed. And yet everything.

The feelings buzzing between us - too many to voice - almost as though you can see them because the intensity is so thick. Neither of us know what to say since there are too many things to say. We don't know how to start. Or start again as it may be.

"Come upstairs with me, I'll grab a few blankets and make us a hot chocolate and we can head out into the roof garden where we won't be disturbed." I tell him as we near the apartment block.
"Ok cause I really need to explain some things" he says.
"I need to as well, and we probably have a few things to discuss about what's next. It's not exactly conventional is it?" I say, half laughing.
"Not really" he says smiling brightly. "But then again, we were never conventional"

We enter the flat, me going to make the drinks whilst he grabs the blankets - no doubt they will have moved since he was here last. We seem to have 'lost' Yuju back by the bridge though she probably thought we could do with some alone time. Aria isn't around either, probably watching horror films downstairs with the boys. Oh well, not my fault if Vernon wets the bed.

Eventually I'm done, carefully carrying the drinks topped with marshmallows up the stairs till I reach the roof where I find DK on the top level, watching the stars.

"You can't really see much can you cause of the bright lights of Seoul? That was always something I wanted to do with you, take you stargazing in the countryside somewhere." He smiles as though reviewing happy memories.
"We still can" I say, placing myself on the sun lounger next to his.

"You deserve an explanation" he says.
"Maybe, but so do you"
"Let me go first, I need to get everything off my chest. It's typical that you turned up today of all days, so much has happened" he laughs but not quite, only half meaning it.

"My sister wanted to meet with me so I agreed since we hadn't seen each other in months. This was blamed on me, escalating into an argument that couldn't be solved until she kept saying worse and worse things, eventually getting onto the topic of us - or more specifically you" he begins, causing me to visibly grimace.

"She kept saying awful things, how you were a bitch and a slut and only using me for fame. Despite everything that happened, I never thought of you in that way, not even when I was at my worst in doubting you. I tried to defend you but that only made it worse. And Minnie, I need to say sorry so many times because of every moment I failed to protect and defend you in London, she was horrible but I just put it down to her being a over protective sister and did nothing. For that I cannot express my regret - I even ignored you and did nothing when you asked me to help" he says, emotion riddled throughout his voice.