Darkiplier Smuts III

Fluff Dark x Reader

Dark is pretty hardcore and he carries himself like he is all the time, but right now he looks like a fragile being. I guess I should feel good. It's not every day that some big bad blood demon falls asleep in your lap and drools on one of your thighs. As much as I want to move, I can't bring myself to wake him up. He's so calm right now. I played his hair a bit and he stirred. I gently removed my hand. I guess touching him wouldn't be such a great idea. He stirred some more, still lightly snoring. I cringed as he shifted his weight down to almost my knees. For someone as thin as he is, he weighs a ton. He continued pitching and rolling a bit until he rolled a bit too far. I couldn't stop him from falling, but he could. Seconds before impact, he levitated himself, still half asleep and on his back. I saw this as my golden opportunity to get up and stretch. Dark yawned. "(Y/N)?" he said, rubbing his eyes. "Hi. Have a nice nap?" I asked. "It was nice until you shoved me off." "Shoved you off? You rolled off." He cracked his neck. "Whatever, something happened." He hit his feet. "What year is it?" he asked, rubbing his back. "2066. The world has been at war for 40 long years. Mark is dead. I'm dead...god is dead." He looked at me sideways. "It was just an expression." he said. He slumped over. "I'm dead." he said. "I thought you didn't need sleep?" I asked. "I don't...but I love it, and I hate being woken up." I felt bad for him. "Go back to sleep." I said. "It's too late. I've been roused from my sleep. Now that I'm up, what do you want to do?" I looked outside. Rainy. No going outside for me. Rain ruins my hair. "I dunno, wanna watch a movie?" I asked. He shrugged. "I couldn't care less. I'm so groggy nothing matters." We started watching a movie, one I hadn't seen before. I was more interested in Dark, who had hunkered down on my lap again. "Why do you insist on sleeping this way?" I asked. "Because your thighs are super soft." "Are you trying to say I have fat thighs?" "No, I'm saying you do. And I like them." I grabbed a tuft of his hair and pulled him up by it, staring right into his eyes. "It's a compliment." he growled. "My thighs aren't fat!" I said. "Not in a bad way." he said. "Let go of my hair, you're killing my neck." "Not until you apologize." I said, smugly. His mouth hung open. "For what?" he demanded. "Calling my thighs fat." He scowled at me. "No way." he said. "I won't apologize for being honest." I gasped. "You are an asshole." I said, tightening my grip on his hair. He leaned towards me, taking the strain off of his neck a bit. "YOU are the asshole." he said. "Wanna fight about it?" I asked. "Yes." he said. I wasn't expecting that. "Fine. Wrestle me if you think you can." I said. "And no demon powers." Dark just chuckled as he fixed his hair. "No problem." he said. He dragged me off the couch. I stood. "Ready?" I asked. "Always." he said. When I gave the go ahead I realized that I had made a huge mistake. He was much larger, much stronger, and as much as I hated to admit it, much smarter than me. It took him about 20 seconds to make me beg for mercy. "So soon?" he asked. "Yeah. You win. Happy now?" I asked. "No. I knew this was gonna happen." Smug bastard. "So that means your thighs are fat and I can sleep on them, right?" My blood boiled. "Fine." I said, sitting back on the couch. I let him lay his head on my lap again,resentfully watching the dumb movie, whatever it was. I looked down and Dark was looking up at me. I couldn't help but crack a little smile. He's impossible to stay mad at...just like Mark. I played with his hair for a bit, combing through it absent mindedly.Dark sat up and put an arm around me. I shivered at his cold skin before accepting it and hugging him tightly. "Darkimoo." I crooned. "Don't even." he said, leaning on me. I crawled onto his lap and kissed him on the cheek gently. I wrapped both arms around his neck. He held me tight against his body. "You're my best friend, Dark." I said. He looked at me for awhile before gently stroking my face. "You're my best friend, too." My heart warmed hearing that. "Even if I do want to smack you sometimes." "Even if you do have fluffy thighs." That time I laughed. "You are a real jerk. And I love it."