Darkiplier Smuts III

Of Mice and Morons (Dark x Reader)

April Fool's Day is a tradition in my family. Nobody is safe, including neighbors,relatives,coworkers, and friends. I'm planning on introducing Dark to it today and I fully expect to win the prank war. It's in my blood after all. It should be easy to prank him seeing as how he has no idea what April Fool's Day is to my knowledge. I've decided to fill his pillow with roaches. The bigger ones that for whatever awful reason some people keep as pets. I gingerly stuffed the roaches into his pillow among the little filling that remained so it would hold its shape. I hoped the hissing wouldn't be loud since the only thing that hisses around here is Dark. As I shoved the last one in, I called for him. "What (y/n)?" he asked, stretching. "Just come sit with me for awhile." He looked at me suspiciously. "You're being awfully affectionate. That's not normal." he said. I got nervous. Was he catching on? "What? I can't be nice to you?" "No." I laughed. "Are you trying to tell me I have never been nice to you?" He looked at me, scowling a bit. "Yes." he said. "That's a damn lie and you know it. Come on, lay with me." "First it was sit, now it's lay. Something is awry." he said, slowly approaching me. I patted the bed next to me. He looked at me one more time before sitting down. I tried my best not to look at the pillow. My eyes stayed locked on his. "What are you staring at me for? Are you trying to give yourself a nosebleed?" he asked, fixing his hair smugly. I looked away. I felt him flop onto his back. Perfect. "Pillow fight!" I said, whacking him across the face with my pillow. When he grabbed his about a thousand roaches spilled out onto him and the bed. Fear was something I'd never seen him exhibit until then. He climbed atop me and refused to come down from my shoulders,snarling, shaking, tensing up, and hissing the entire time. "Fuck you!" he said, digging his nails into me. I cringed a bit. "That fucking hurts, ease up! Jesus, they're only bugs!" "ONLY bugs? No they're fucking disgusting. Like you are right now." I laughed. Poor guy. I picked one up and suddenly, his weight was no longer on my shoulders. "Where'd you go?" I asked, feeling the roach squirming on my fingers. No answer. I dropped a roach off the side of the bed precariously and felt the entire bed shake as Dark squirmed his way out from under the bed. "Seriously? Just get rid of the damn things? What the fuck is wrong with you?" I laughed as he, an impossible being capable of literally destroying the planet cowered in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest. I flicked a roach at him and he disolved right in front of me. "Alright, I'll get rid of them...I don't know where you want me to put them though...wherever you went." I said. I noticed a pack of cigarettes on his nightstand. Round 2, ding! Perfect. I placed a small roach inside of it and gathered up its friends. "Dark come on! Come back, I've got them all gathered up. If you don't help me ditch them I'll leave them here." He reappered. "Fine. I'll banish them. Good riddance to the little sex legged bastards." He snapped his fingers and opened what I believed was a black hole. I tossed the roaches into it and waved goodbye. "You like those things?" he asked, closing the hole. "Yes." I said. "Bugs are cool." Dark grimaced. "You're weird." "Fancy that, a demon calling ME weird." He rolled his eyes. "You've stressed me out. I need a smoke." I smiled to myself. He opened the pack and then dropped it, screeching like a wild animal. He squeezed the pack until it ignited into black flames. "You're dead." he said, looking straight at me. Before I even had a chance to get out of bed, he was on top of me, pinning me down. "What are you gonna do?" I asked. "Scare you." he said. I yawned. "Nah. You're not." I said.  He raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he asked. "That's a lot of confidence." he said. I shrugged to the best of my ability. "Not really." I said. "It's just factual." Dark smirked. He snapped his fingers a few times. "What's wrong Dark? Run out of magic?" I purred. He just kept smirking. That's when he tied my wrists and ankles up. "I'm not afraid of bondage...in fact I like where this is going." I said, laughing. "You won't." he said. There was something about how he said that. It worried me. I tried sitting up, but it didn't work. Whatever he tied me up with was human proof. I struggled to move and that's when I heard it: the dreaded squeaks. Mice. I hate mice. There's something about their beady eyes and human like paws that really bothers me. It's creepy. I screamed for Dark who had resigned himself to levitating in the corner smoking cigarettes from a new pack, of course. He just smirked some more and pretended not to notice the horror show right in front of them. These weren't just any mice either, they were demon mice and they had no qualms about crawling all over me. "Dark! Okay, I'm sorry! It was just an April Fool's prank! None of the roaches crawled on you." "Yeah, but you tried to get me to smoke one. Suffer." I eventually managed to roll off the side of the bed right onto the black hardwood floors. "I give." I said, in pain. "Alright, that last part wasn't supposed to happen. I'll let you go...IF you promise to never put me and roaches in the same room ever again." I quickly promised. He let me go and I chased him through the room attempting to grab him. Of course, being who he is he was way too fast for me. I gave up and he walked up a wall as if he was walking on the ground. "Whatever." I said, walking away. He dropped himself right in front of me. I jumped back a bit. "You've really gotta stop doing that." I said, placing a hand on his chest, pushing him back. He licked my face. "Stop!" I laughed. He looked at me. He was giving me his best impression of sleepy eyes. "Stop, you know what that does to me." I said, blushing. He kept it up, just waiting for me to give. "Alright, I love you. I'm sorry for pranking you, but it is April Fool's Day." "Duh." he said. "You knew?" "Mark told me to get you. He told me about the mice...I had no idea you were gonna pull what you pulled though." he said. I smiled. "I got you good." I said. "Anyone who puts roaches near me gets me good. I can't stand those fuckers." I laughed. "So do you want to lay with me now?" I asked. He looked me up and down. He frisked me roughly, being sure to grab my ass. "You're clean." he said, escorting me to his bed. He plopped me on top of him and covered us in blankets. "Stop giving me those sexy sleepy eyes." I said. "Nah." he said. I covered his eyes with my hands. "I will bite you." he warned. I kept my hands there until he laughed and pulled them away. "Alright, hush, I'm comfy." he said. I breathed in his scent. "Night babe." I said, nuzzling his neck. "Night. Good prank. Now I'm gonna have to kill you." I laughed. "I'm not joking you are so dead to me." "Shut up, Dark." I said, flicking his nose. He glared at me before unleashing the mother of all sneezes. "Yes!" I laughed. He looked at me. "Last prank?" he asked. "I promise, yes." He kept his eyes on me as he bedded down. "I should make you sleep on the floor." he muttered. "You love me." I said. "What a disgusting accusation. I'm deeply offended." I snickered. I put my head down on his chest and fell asleep, being sure he wasn't going to get me back for being such a pest.