Darkiplier Smuts III

Dark x Reader II

"Alright, it's late....well early, but what's next? I took a long nap, I don't want to sleep." Dark stretched. "Well...you tell me what's next (y/n)." "What kind of things did you do for fun when you were a kid?" He looked at me strangely. "Chase girls and get laid mostly." I laughed. "Besides that?" "Lots of things, but you know me, I'm a solitary guy...I've never been really social. I never will really be social either." I thought about what he said. "How about some more funny stuff? Embarrassing stuff?" "Are you getting wet over the idea of me metaphorically kicking my own ass? Wasn't what I told you about the whole smoking shit funny enough?" I shook my head. "Nope, but it was definitely funny. Funny or not, just think of something to tell me. I mean didn't you ever have a demon girlfriend or something before you swore off dating?" "I did." he said. "Tell me about her?" He gave me a telling look before heaving a sigh. "Alright. This is probably going to bore you though."

DARK

I never dated much because I have serious problems with monogamy. That's just the way I am...check out the meaning of my middle name sometime (y/n). It explains a lot. Anyway, there was this one chick, Ravana. She was pretty attractive...pretty bitchy...I decided to date her. She was a terrible girlfriend aaand if I recall correctly, Circe beat the fuck out of her with a crowbar. We broke up after that. There was something about getting a beatdown of that magnitude that she found...unattractive I guess.

YOU

I looked at Dark sideways. "She sounds insane." "Circe? Yeah she had a massive temperament problem...but not with me. I remember having to drag her out of fist fights time after time. I miss that kid." I really didn't mean to bring up bad bones. I could sense the sadness in Dark and I felt guilty. "Continue." I said, encouraging him. "That's pretty much it, (y/n). You asked, I told." True. "Well there's got to be something else you can tell me." "I don't want to tell you things you don't want to know. You tell me what to tell you." I thought about it for a minute. "I dunno, I guess tell me about your mom. She seems more interesting than the sound of silence." "What's there to say? She's...my mom. A demon. Like me. The end." I rolled my eyes. "Alright then...hmm...I dunno. Did you ever do something really stupid?" He held in his laughter as best as he could. "I did a lot of stupid things. I fully admit to being a dumb ass kid. I fucked around so much." "Tell me about that then." He sighed. "So be it. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

DARK

As a kid, I used to fuck with Circe a lot. I was older than her...it was part of my job. Besides, I got picked on a lot seeing as how I'm the monkey in the middle. Anyway, when shit freezes down in the demon world it's intense. It's worse than it is in the coldest parts of your world. It doesn't bother us any, but it can be a pain in the ass. Don't get any part of your body wet and touch anything. You'll freeze to it. It's so cold that virtually anything can fuse together. I tricked Circe into going on a panty raid for me, so she got me back. She dared me to stick my tongue on a pole. Pretty standard winter time fucking around, right? I can't resist dares, so I went for it...and then she doused me in water and flipped me upside down...the rest is history. It gets worse too. She paid her asshole friends to throw snowballs at me.

YOU

I laughed. I could see it. "It was innocent fun." he glared at me. "I hung upside down for 5 days straight, innocent fun my ass." I was surprised. "She wasn't messing around with you. I think you deserved it." He looked at me strangely again. "Whose side are you on, anyway? That was pure hell. Maybe I should hang you upside down for the better part of a week." "No thank you." I laughed. "That's what I thought. Believe me, I got her for that. She always had long red hair...I hacked it off in her sleep." I looked at him surprised. "You really are mean." I said. "She froze me to a pole for a week. Are all females stuck together?" "More than you were stuck to that pole." He scowled  at me. "Well fine then. See if I care. I'm just saying, we tormented each other as kids. Constantly. It drove my mom up the wall...and yet, for whatever reason at night, that kid would always come and sleep with me. I'd wake up sweating my ass off for seemingly no reason, until I noticed the stowaway under the blankets." I stretched. "Can I stowaway under the blankets?" "Are you tired again?" he asked. "Getting that way...it's already going on 5am...I don't care. This is my vacation I'll sleep when I want to." I crawled onto Dark. "You are crushing my fragile ribs." he moaned. "Shut up. That's nothing compared to what I feel right now." I settled on top of him. "Comfy?" I asked. He shrugged. "I have to find a way to be because obviously you're not moving." "Shh, body pillows don't talk. Wake me up when you're gonna feed me again." He grunted. "Whatever. I guess I'll start thinking of more stories to tell."