Chapter Thirty Two: War Pt. One

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-Your P.O.V.-

Weeks passed, the war was soon arriving upon us and I wasn't ready. I haven't spoken to Justin since our last encountered and I haven't spoken much to anyone. Including Austin. Me and him became very distant for which I didn't seem to mind. The crew already hated me, but now they hate me even more. But like I said before, I didn't even mind. 

I have been missing Justin so much that people are starting to notice. I'm not even trying hard to hide it anymore. Even though I knew that Justin wasn't going to be pleased with what I have to tell him. I'm probably better off never speaking to Justin again because once he finds out I am pregnant with Austin's baby, hell will unleash. 

If the hell that will arise from this war already burn us down with it.

I stayed in our bedroom. I hardly ever left. I didn't want to be seen. I felt ashamed of my pregnancy. This was something I could have never foreseen coming. This child is something I've never wanted. At least not from Austin. I would've gladly carried Justin's child. 

Days became shorter and shorter as the horrid day became closer. It feels like I haven't moved this bed in years. I didn't want to kill off my child, but I know I wasn't taking care of its well being. I don't think I have a choice. When Justin finds out, he'll kill it on his own terms. I don't want that to happen. If the child has to die, I would rather the fetus dies safe in my stomach. Not in the cold heart of the world with a hatred man. 

"Y/n?" Austin called from downstairs. I didn't answer. I don't think I remember how to speak. I haven't talked in so long. 

"Come downstairs. We need to talk."

I sat up. That's something you never want to hear from your partner. 'We need to talk' means we need a break, but in the criminal world, it means I need to get rid of you. No criminal lets their lover walk free without a price. 

I walked down the stairs, hesitant if I should go or not. If Austin wants a fight, he isn't going to get it. I have no energy in me to fight. He used to try to start fights with me, prompting me to speak. But we're both so far apart that it feels like we're on different planets. While I'm on Mars, he's on Saturn.  

The glow in Austin's eyes have faded. The welcoming, warm love I have felt from his presence soon faded due to my coldness. Austin was a smart man with a motive. I'm either going to die by Justin's rage or by Austin's hatred. It's a shame, really. I broke a man's heart. 

"The war is in a few months and I don't think you're prepared enough to fight." Austin stated. 

"I don't want to fight." I admitted.

"Welcome to the life of a killer, princess." Austin spat. 

"You act like I wanted this." I hissed, keeping my tone with no emotion.

"Next time, don't be a whore."

I glared at him. I wouldn't show it, but my heart ached a little bit. The pure love Austin felt for me evaporated into my winter air. His heart was as cold as Justin's. This is how a killer becomes a killer. His heart will always be under a block of ice until the right one comes and melts it with her unbelievable touch. 

What an amazing power I have, isn't it?

"Well, you got this whore pregnant."

"Not on purpose. Why would I want a child with you?" Austin snapped. 

"Because you," I paused to keep myself collected, "loved me." 

"Keyword: loved." 

I bit my bottom lip to keep a tear from slipping. What have I gotten myself into? Why did I ever think I was protecting Justin? I lied to myself to make myself feel better about the terrible decisions I have made.

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