your fault.
your fault.
your fault.
jenna was having a hard time getting back to normal life. she had needed help getting to bed the other day, and to the car the day before that.
i've been hesitant about driving since the accident.
sometimes i wish i had died in the crash. anything would be better than watching the daisy struggle.
"ty? babe, you can speed up, its okay."
"hm?"
i broke out of my trance to discover that several people were honking at me, since i was going so slow. i was driving jenna to the doctors.
"pull over."
manuver the car to side, park it, push up your glasses (the new turtleshell rimmed ones jenna had gotten you for graduation. she was wearing the necklace you got her, the one with the diamond daisy you had saved 8 months of pizza delivery salary and tips).
"ty, i know you're scared to drive. its ok. but you gotta get over it. you wont crash i promise."
"im sorry."
"don't be. its not your fault."
"yes. it is."
"t-"
"jenna, the crash is my fault. you always try and tell its not but it is! if i wasn't driving the car you wouldn't be going to p.t right now."
we finally get there ten minutes later.
it felt like forever.
"ty its gonna be okay. it'll get better i-"
"you know what jenna? some things just can't be fixed or brightened up! im sorry!"
silence.
what have i done?
"baby wait n-"
"goodbye tyler. i will see you after p.t." the daisy said, tears welling up in her eyes.
she slams the door shut, and tries to get the door but cant on her own.
i get out to help her.
tears streaming down my face, as well as down hers. wrap your arms around her shoulders, try and help.
the moment she pulls away from my touch is the moment i know i've messed up bad.
"j-jenna. i'm sorry. baby i'm sorry." i say, sobbing like a baby. my glasses are fogging up every time i breathe and i feel like my heart is being squeezed.
she hugged me.
"its okay ty. see you after, okay love?"
"okay."
walk her in, kiss her head.
i apologize. she forgives.
somehow i understand and know we will be okay in this mess of a life.
