before mimi

whats love

It's been a couple months now and school was coming to a close. I couldn't believe it was senior year and how fast it flew by. Ben and I had been together..but lowkey together. I was very specific about PDA; I hated that shit. 

It was all over school at this point-we didnt even have to hold hands but walking together earned me a lot of stares. Its funny how college is just high school on steroids and many things never seem to change.  

Ben wanted to meet for coffee as we do every wednesday after my class. But with school ending I had a lot on my mind with this relationship.  Entering the coffee shop, I was hit with the strong smell of fresh coffee beans and the buzzing of the busy shop. Shuffling my way past black coats and fur hoodies, I moved my body to fit through the long line of phone glued college students.  Making my way to ben I tapped his ear from behind like I always do. He turned around I guess assuming it was me and put his arm around my shoulder.

Pulling me in close he pecked my forehead and I gave him that look. He smiled knowing I hated it. I didnt break out of his embrace like I usually do. He started sticking his finger in my nose and I swatted him away as we were being called to order.  

An adorable worker waited for us with a huge smile plastered on his face. His round glasses made his face appear to be a perfect circle. His jet black hair was shaved on one side and long in the front. CJ had got to know us well. Coming here every wednesday, he knew Ben's order to heart-because he ordered the same thing every time. 

"hows my favorite couple!" he asked cheerfully already typing in Ben's order. "cj stop!" i said laughing a bit looking at the menu. 

"i know what mr.GQ wants" he said eyeing him up and down making me laugh. "but what would his lovely queen desire this evening" he said now turning his attention to me. CJ was a mess. very outgoing and spoke everything that entered his mind. He developed this love for us about a month ago and we love him too. 

"a chai please" I said with a smile. "so am I going to be invited to the wedding or what?" He asked writing our names on our cups. "we arnt getting married" i said playfully rolling our eyes. 

"not yet" Ben added fishing for his card in his wallet. I let that comment slide now walking over to the waiting area for our drinks. 

We finally sat down at the small round table. Shaking off my coat I knew we had to have this talk. We would be graduating before we knew it and our lives would move on. I knew this wouldnt last but I wanted to know where his mind was. its a talk he never liked to have. Every time I brought it up he always found a way to derail. 

By now I knew I was the level headed one while he was more of a dreamer. But it was time to bring him back to reality. 

"what are we going to do about this?" I asked sipping on my drink. I fixed my glasses so they wouldnt fog up from me blowing on the scorching hot drink. 

He took a sip of his an looked at me with this confused face. "about what?"

"about us. this. school is coming to a close and I just want to be reasonable I dont know if we shou-"

"we dont live that far from each other" he said not taking his eyes off of me. 

"but out lives are going to change a lot..i dont want us to stop ourselves from pursuing other people if we were to meet someone"

"you already have someone in mind?"

"no! no im just being realistic here"

he looked at me with sad eyes and i instantly felt like i had just kicked a baby.