Until I Really Do

Chapter Twenty-One

She couldn't forget.

No matter how desperately Sharon tried to rid her mind of the memory of the warmth of Matthew's lips pressed against hers with his fingers caressing her scalp as her form collapsed into his, she couldn't. She could not forget the several emotions that raced through her body, leaving her gasping for more of his kisses, nor could she forget the wave of emptiness that washed over her the second he pulled away, ending their kiss.

The kiss had been a week ago, and it had failed to repeat itself. But with every second that ticked by, its effect on her only seemed to get worse. She found that she was starting to desire Matthew's presence and miss him in his absence. It was impossible to keep her eyes off of him when they were in the same room, and it was especially impossible to rid her skin of the silly sensation of warmth when he looked at her or his skin brushed hers.

What was wrong with her?! She sighed, leaning heavily against the sink as her eyes remained trained on Matthew who stood on the field having a conversation with one of the farmhands.

The soft breeze tossed his hair back and forth, filling her with a barely deniable desire to want to run her fingers through the curly locks. His hands were buried in his pockets, but she could still picture them trailing her face, urging her forward until his tongue was buried deep in her mouth...

"You know, it's rude to stare."

Gasping, she jumped back, a loud clanking sound following her actions.

She turned around sharply, her face catching fire at the sight of Nana Lois, who stood by the table, her eyes trained on Sharon.

"I don't suppose you have those carrots chopped." Nana Lois raised a brow, motioning to the knife that had fallen from Sharon's hand to the floor. She had been so consumed by the sight of Matthew, she had forgotten the simple assignment the older housekeeper had given her; chop some vegetables.

After volunteering to help Nana Lois with the chores that afternoon in an attempt to get her mind off of Matthew, Sharon was beginning to see the futility of her effort.

"I—" She ran her hand over the back of her neck, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I got distracted."

"Obviously," Nana Lois crossed the room and came to stand beside Sharon. Peering out of the kitchen window that Sharon had only a few minutes ago been using to spy on Matthew, she shrugged. "I can see why."

Leaning down, Sharon took her time retrieving the knife from the floor; she hated for Nana Lois to see how utterly embarrassed she was.

Straightening, she cleared her throat. "I'll just finish with these."

"Are you sure? I would hate to interrupt your staring session."

Her face caught fire. "I—"

Nana Lois laughed then, most likely at the sight of the blushing bride. "It's a joke. I think it's lovely how attracted you are to Matthew, especially considering how rushed your marriage was."

Turning her attention to the abandoned carrots, Sharon shrugged. "I suppose we get along fine, but attraction is such a strong word, Nana"

"Get along? Well, that's a subtle way of putting it."

"What do you mean?" She kept her attention on the carrots.

"What I mean is I have eyes everywhere, literally." She giggled, heightening Sharon's embarrassment. "And I've seen how you two look at each other."

"I believe these will do." Motioning to the chopped carrots, Sharon tried to shift the conversation in a different direction. Perhaps it was because she wasn't exactly comfortable with the way Nana watched her curiously, or perhaps it was the unfamiliar emotion she felt at the thought of having Matthew look at her the way Nana described. "Would you like me to help with something else?"

"No, these are fine."

"Alright," she said, nodding. "I should get back to finishing my second dress."

"Oh? I was hoping for the company. Besides, the sooner we get lunch done, the better the possibility that I could help you with your dress. You know, I'm excellent with embroidery. Sit, will you?" She motioned to the table.

Complying with her request, Sharon sat and watched as Nana Lois began cleaning some potatoes.

"I never asked how you two met. I know Matthew was desperate to find a wife, but I was away visiting my grand baby when you two got married. I don't suppose a week had passed and I hadn't even heard of you before then."

Sharon paused, unsure of how to respond to the older woman's enquiry. Did she dare speak of her unconventional meeting with Matthew, or their hurried marriage?

Nana Lois sat patiently waiting, her attention stolen by the potatoes in the bowl. It appeared to Sharon that Nana Lois's question wasn't based on malice —like Gretchen's was— but was based on nothing more than sheer curiosity.

Sighing, she said, "My father, George Freelance's disease is his stupid liquor and his insatiable desire for it. I'm ashamed to say that his desire has led him to doing a lot of foolish things, one of which was losing me in a bet."

The knife fell from Nana's hands, landing in the bowl as her gaze immediately drifted to Sharon. Her eyelids grew several notches.

"Goodness, child, I heard of you! Weren't you 'sposed to be married to that crook, Jenkins?! 'hole darn town was buzzing with the news!"

Running her tongue over her bottom lip, Sharon let out a soft sigh. "Jenkins was seconds away from dragging me to the courthouse and forcing me to marry him when Matthew showed up."

Nana's eyelids only seemed to grow several notches more. "Now it all makes sense why Matthew was willing to let the bastard go right after he was caught knee deep in Matthew's safe. I always wondered about that, now I'm just mad those three grown men tossed you about like a darn coin. I bet you didn't even get a say in any of this!" Anger flashed in her brown eyes.

She shook her head. "It was nothing like that, Nana. Matthew offered me a choice."

Nana Lois let out a loud sigh of relief. "Oh good, cause I was 'bout to give him a whopping."

Laughter drifted from Sharon's lips then, just as Nana Lois gave her a small wink.

"Matthew has always been a good man; his darn father just didn't give him much of a choice when it came to his inheritance. It isn't like him to go and do a thing like that; he would never marry for anything other than love."

"And if it weren't for my father's poor choices, I wouldn't have to marry for anything other than love." She shrugged, glancing down.

"You two have that in common, I suppose."

"What?" She raised her head up once more.

"Terrible fathers. Of course I can't be caught saying that about Mr. Steiner so if this ever gets out, I'm denying it."

Laughing, Sharon nodded in agreement.

"But it's not a hopeless case. There's always a chance you'll fall in love someday. As a matter of fact, I believe that's already even happening."

Glancing down nervously, Sharon felt her face catch fire once more. "It's not what you think, Nana."

"I'm sure it is! As a matter of fact, I do have one more thing I'll be needing you to do today."

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