Until I Really Do

Chapter Nineteen

Her foot pounded against the wooden stairs, a frown creasing her face as anger boiled in her heart at the memory of that afternoon.

Gretchen could barely fall asleep. Not only was her face still sore from Sharon's slap, her ego was sore as well. It was beyond infuriating to think that the peasant had the guts to raise a fist to her! She growled, clenching her fist. The filthy animal had attacked her, bruising her for nothing! Perhaps she should not be so surprised that Sharon could stoop so low? What had she been expecting from the low-life?!

All day, she had waited for Matthew's return and she had even missed dinner, blatantly refusing to be in the same room with that monster.

Hours into the evening with no sign of Matthew, Gretchen gave in to her hunger, deciding it was unwise to sit outside all day in anticipation of him. She had no doubt that everyone else had retired to bed and that she would have the kitchen all to herself. She would simply eat and if she was lucky, Matthew would return before she was finished, then she could inform him of the kind of woman he was married to.

Rising from the stairs to her cramping legs, she smoothed her skirt before turning and making her way into the building and to the kitchen. Thankfully, as she glanced around, there were still some leftovers from dinner. She served herself a plate and plopped herself on the chair.

“Are you okay, Gretchen?”

Startled, Gretchen turned sharply around, shocked to find Grace standing by the entryway, her dark brown hair pulled into a messy bun as she held her night coat tightly around herself.

Heaving a deep breath, Gretchen nodded; she didn't think it was appropriate to get Grace involved —at least not until Matthew was informed.

She forced a smile to her lips. “I'm fine.”

Crossing the room, Grace settled on a chair beside her, her eyes searching hers as a small frown dented her young face.

“You can talk to me about anything.” She finally said.

Gretchen stared into the eyes of the sixteen year old heiress of the Steiner estate, a wave of jealousy washing over her. Just a few months back, she herself had been an heiress. She had everything and she would never have been reduced to fighting with a peasant over a man. Never!

All of a sudden, the realization of her shameful act washed over her; not only had she stooped low enough to come here, she had gotten into a fight with a woman she would have never been caught dead associating with in the past. And to think she was about to disgrace herself even further by reporting the problem to Matthew.

She leaned back on her chair; perhaps she had been wrong to come here? Perhaps it was best to return to her family very early the next morning? She had already borne as much shame as she could possibly take. There was no point staying back. Indeed, there had been no point coming here in the first place. It was best to give Matthew the space he deserved to be happy, and while she did not like Sharon, she supposed she needed to be happy Matthew had found a way to fall in love again after she dumped him.

It was her fault; if she hadn't turned down Matthew's proposal, he wouldn't be with another woman. The least she could do was preserve what was left of her dignity and let Matthew have the family he always wanted.

“Does it concern Matthew and the woman he has chosen as a wife?” Grace spoke, dragging her back to the present. “I wouldn't worry about that.” She touched Gretchen's hand, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I think I know the reason Matthew married that nobody and it has nothing to do with love.”

Jerking upright, Gretchen turned sharply to Grace, stunned. “What?”

“He loves you, Gretchen, I can tell. I overheard Papa and Mama talking about it. Papa told Matthew that he needed to get married to gain access to his inheritance money.” She sighed, as if the thought alone sickened her. “A few days later, the news came that he was married.”

“What are you saying, Grace?” She shook her head, unbelieving of the news she was hearing. Certainly, Grace did not know what she was saying! Matthew would never marry a woman for money; it just wasn't something he could do!

But the kiss...

Gretchen could almost still feel the warmth of his lips pressed to hers, his heart pounding wildly against her chest as she leaned further into him. The kiss had done many things to her, and one of the things it had done was reassure her of his feelings for her.

“I'm saying that once Papa hands Matthew his inheritance, there will be no reason to stay married to Sharon.”

A small smile immediately tugged on the corners of her lips as the implications of Grace's words began to sink in; Matthew loved her. Matthew married Sharon for his inheritance. Matthew would come back to Gretchen once the inheritance was him. There was hope for their relationship.

She had done this; she had pushed Matthew into the arms of another woman. Now, she was going to get him back.

The sound of the front door opening caused both ladies to turn toward the entry way. They waited a few minutes as the sound of someone's boots approaching, reached them, before Matthew appeared.

“Matthew!” Grace rose from the chair and walked over to him, her arms outstretched for a hug. Matthew's face crumbled into a smile as he opened up his arms to his little sister. Once settled in his embrace, he planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Where did you go all day?” She pulled away, a frown on her face.

“I had business to take care of.” His eyes settled on Gretchen.

Nervous, Gretchen's gaze moved back to her plate. The excitement of knowing there was a chance they could still be together, made her awfully nervous.

“Well, I better get my beauty sleep. I wouldn't want to wake up with those horrid sacks underneath my eyes.” Grace chirped, gaining Gretchen's attention once more. She tugged on Matthew's arms until he was leaning down once more for a kiss from his sister. He chuckled as she grabbed his neck and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. “Good night!” She yelled, turning sharply around and bouncing up the stairs.

“Hello, Gretchen,” he offered a half smile, turning to her.

Returning his smile, she watched as he settled beside her.

“I'm sorry for earlier today.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair and ruffling his curls.

Shaking her head, she said, “No, I am the one who's sorry, Matthew.”

He shook his head. “I guess I gave you the wrong impression. Gretchen,” he held her gaze. “I need for you to understand that the only thing that can exist between us is friendship. I'm married now.”

I know. I also know that you need to stay married to get your inheritance. I also know that you love me, and not her and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. But I'm here, now, Matthew, I will always be here.

She opened her mouth to speak — to express her heart to him— but as the words started to form on her lips, she decided against it. Matthew was a nobleman and certainly felt guilty about the kiss. If she expressed her love for him like that, it would only heighten his guilt and push him away. It was best to give him time to be rid of his guilt, while simultaneously working to remind him of all the things he loved about her —like her touch...

Reaching out, she placed a hand on his hand that rested on the table.

“My, Matthew, you do look hungry.” she said, her smile broadening as something flashed in his eyes in reaction to her touch.

Shaking his head furiously, he withdrew his hand and rose to his feet. “Tired, not hungry. I should go to bed. Good night, Gretchen.”

Rising to her feet as well, Gretchen maintained the smile on her face as she leaned forward, her lips brushing his cheek. “Good night, Matthew.” She whispered, leaning back.

She watched as he stiffly turned around and made his way up the stairs.

She would have him, sooner than later.

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