Until I Really Do

Chapter Thirty Six

Nana Lois sat patiently, her grip tightening around the cup of coffee in her hands as she listened to Matthew's heavy footsteps make their way down the stairs that morning.

Raising the cup to her lips, she took a sip of the searing liquid, hoping it would aid in getting rid of her mounting headache brought on by her lack of sleep through the night. Indeed, it had been impossible to do anything but sit all evening, the events of that day replaying over and over again in her head as she tried and failed to make sense of it. Neither Sharon's decision to run off leaving Matthew at the altar, nor Matthew's decision to lock Sharon up in a room, made any sense to her.

But Nana knew she had to do something. She simply could not sit still and let those two stubborn children let their anger stand between the love she knew they had for each other. She would talk to them, and even if she truly didn't believe they'd listen, she wasn't going to give up until they both saw reason.

Rising to her feet just as Matthew reached the foot of the stairs, she turned to him.

“Matthew,” she began cautiously as his tired hazel eyes drifted to her.

“Good morning, Nana,” he grumbled, offering a curt nod before stepping further into the kitchen. “I'll be in the barn if you need me.”

Stepping forward just as he made to walk past her, Nana blocked his path. “You should eat,” she said, frowning at the sight of the sacks underneath his eyes. “And maybe get some rest.”

He shook his head. “Can't rest. I need to get back to work.”

“Matthew,” she said, knowing full well that he was only trying to get away from Sharon and the pain her actions the day before caused him; the pain that dimmed his eyes and caused his shoulders to sag. “You should talk to her.”

“There's nothing more to say,” he gritted his teeth, his fingers curling into fists.

“Will you hand me the keys to her room?” She raised a brow, fully expecting him to turn down her request. But he was visibly too exhausted to argue as he buried his hand in his pocket and brought out a key, before placing it in her outstretched hand.

Once that was done, he turned from her and made to walk past once more. Still, rather than let him go, she shifted further to the side, blocking his path.

Releasing a low growl, he threw his hands in the air. “For god's sake, Nana, what else would you have me do?! At first you wanted us to go on that lousy date by the lake that not only saw me falling head over my stupid heels in love with a traitor, I was dumb enough to ask her to marry me again! I was stupid enough to plan a wedding, foolish enough to stand on that altar!” He yelled, his face turning crimson. “I have nothing to say to her!”

“There's plenty to say, Matthew! For one, you could tell her how you feel; tell her you're in love with her. Poor child has already been through so much with her father. You can't possibly blame her for doubting your feelings for her. Perhaps she was unsure? Perhaps she's insecure? Convince her, Matt. Help her understand you're in love with her.”

Standing still before her, he watched her for several seconds, saying nothing. She stood, wondering if he had even heard a word she said, when he finally shook his head.

“I can't tell her I'm in love with her, Nana,” he whispered, before stepping forward and gently maneuvering his way past her.

Nana Lois listened to him make his way to the back door, frustrated to say the least. Turning around sharply, she called after him, “Oh for goodness sake, why?!”

He paused, his fingers poised over the doorknob. She stood staring at his rigid form, wanting nothing but to shake some sense into him —into the two people who were so stubborn and determined to hold on to their anger, that it seemed to her they valued their anger much more than they valued each other.

“Because that would be a lie,” he finally said, before making his way out of the building.

~*~

Sharon stared at the ground outside, mentally calculating the distance between it and her window and the possibility of jumping down without breaking a limb. And each time, the answer remained the same; it was impossible.

Yet, the window was the only possible escape from her prison! She needed to get out, and she needed to get out today if she was going to catch the stage to Centerville.

Groaning in frustration, she turned from the window and faced the door, a frown claiming her face. She had already tried getting past the door the evening before, and not only had it proven to be a futile endeavor, it had left her bruised.

It would seem that she was to remain trapped until Matthew deemed it fit to release her, and according to him, that was only going to happen when the child was born.

The nerves on him —She hissed, stalking over to the vanity and settling on a chair. She stared at her image in the mirror, her eyes sunken from weeping through the night. Her head still ached and her stomach churned. She was a terrible mess.

Just as the thought drifted through her mind, the sound of the locks giving way drifted to her.

Turning sharply to the door, she mentally prepared herself for yet another confrontation with Matthew. For all she knew, he was here to ensure that his little prisoner had stayed put through the night. It would no doubt please him to find that she was indeed still her, held captive against her will.

Her fingers curled into fists just as the door was pushed open and a dark figure entered. Immediately, a tired sigh drifted from her lips at the sight of Nana Lois; she was nearly relieved to see the older housekeeper, even if she knew she hadn't seen the last of Matthew.

“Sharon, may I please come in?” Nana Lois asked.

Too exhausted to speak, Sharon nodded instead and watched as Nana Lois crossed the room to the bed where she settled on the edge.

“I don't suppose you slept either.”

She shrugged.

“Sharon, we need to talk.”

It was the last thing Sharon wanted to do, but she didn't think Nana Lois was going to let her decline either.

“Very well, Nana.” She sighed.

“Good, because I think it's time you and Matthew stop acting like silly little teenagers and sort this whole mess out.”

“Well, Matthew can start by letting me out of this prison.” She said, bitterness lacing every word. “I do not wish to remain married to a man who only wants to use me for his benefits. First it was for his inheritance, and once he realized that he had no inheritance, he tried to use me to get back with Gretchen. Matthew is nothing but a selfish bastard and I'm sick of it!” She half yelled.

“You're wrong about the inheritance and Gretchen.”

“But I'm not, Nana! I'm not wrong. I saw them kiss and I heard him tell her he loves her. I also heard Mr. Steiner tell Matthew that his purpose for getting married to me was of no effect because his grandfather left him nothing in the will. Mr. Steiner offered to help Matthew pay off his debt if he agreed to divorce me. For all I know, Matthew agreed to his father's terms, even if he tried to cover everything up by asking me to marry him again! For all I know, it was all in his plan to not only get Gretchen back, but to get his father to pay off his debt.”

Pushing back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, Sharon glanced down at her fingers that sat trembling in her lap. Everything had been a lie; their marriage and the love he once professed.

Silence settled between them, and Sharon was thankful for it. For the life of her, she could no longer speak. She was both emotionally and physically drained.

“Listen, child,” Nana Lois finally spoke. “Mr. Steiner did offer Matthew money in exchange for divorcing you.”

She swallowed, tears filling her eyes. “I know, I heard them that morning, I—”

“Matthew turned him down.”

Jerking her head upright, Sharon stared at the Nana Lois, shocked. Yet, unbelieving of what it was she was hearing.

“He was about to lose everything; his farmhands, his farm, and months worth of labor because he loved you. He still does.”

She shook her head in disagreement. “He didn't lose it, so he must have agreed—”

“He didn't lose it because his mother pitched in. While Elle Steiner is not exactly a likeable woman, she loves her children. But Matthew wouldn't even take the money without forcing his mother to turn it into a loan. Although, I don't see the point of it seeing as she's never going to demand payment from him.” She shrugged, turning fully to face Sharon. “Matthew turned down his father's offer even before his mother offered to help. He was willing to give everything up for you.”

Guilt began to wash over Sharon, slowing her heartbeat. It didn't make any sense —Matthew, his decision to turn down his father's proposal, nothing made sense. If he loved her, why did he confess to loving Gretchen?

“And Gretchen?”

“What about her?” Nana frowned.

“I heard him tell her he was still in love with her. They were seated on the porch with Gretchen in his arms only a few weeks to our wedding. How can he love us both?”

“He doesn't. He loves you, Sharon. It's true he loved Gretchen once, but I'm not even sure he loved her as much as he loves you.”

“How would you know?”

“Because Gretchen only turned down his proposal because Matthew decided to become a farmer. She made him choose between her and his farm. When it came down to Gretchen, he chose his farm. When it came down to his farm, he chose you.”

Shaking her head as Nana's words began to sink in, Sharon could hardly believe any of it. Yet, she couldn't push away the thought that she was wrong, and that she had made a terrible mistake.

“Are you sure?” She managed, dread filling her as she watched in horror as Nana Lois affirmed her worst fears; she was the monster, not Matthew.

Copyright © 2016-2020 Lily Orevba All rights reserved.

Hey guys, a short update on this story; we're nearing the end, as you can see. I honestly didn't think it'd take me this long to write it, but I've just not been healthy lately. I will however try as much as possible to wrap this up in the coming days.

Thank you once again for reading, please leave your thoughts behind.