Until I Really Do

Chapter Forty Two

Sweat beaded her forehead as she pressed her lips together, fighting helplessly to ward off yet another contraction. Her body jerked upright in response to the pain that most often than not, left her breathless.

Barely able to contain her tears, she let them fall uncontrollably down her cheeks as she fell back against her pillow and gritted her teeth, fear clouding her mind; she was afraid of dying and taking the baby with her. She was afraid of leaving Matthew. It was the very thought of leaving him behind with the impression that she wasn't in love with him that made the pain she was experiencing feel even worse.

“Oh dear,” Nana Lois dabbed at her sweaty forehead just as yet another contraction seized her body.

She cried out this time, her fingers tightening their grip on the bed sheets.

Gasping as the pain subsided, she fell back against her pillow.

“Hang in there, it will soon be over.” Nana Lois said.

Craning her head to the side to look at her, Sharon shook her head; she didn't want Nana Lois with her, she wanted Matthew. But Dr. Hector made it very clear that he didn't want Matthew in the room because according to him, Matthew was going to be more of a distraction than he was going to be of any help. Nana Lois on the other hand two births credited to her.

“Almost there,” Dr. Hector said.

She wanted to yell, angered by the fact that he had been saying the same thing to her for what felt like an eternity but her pain only grew worse with every contraction.

Clenching her teeth, she said, “Matthew,” she breathed. “I need Matthe—” Yet again she jerked upright, pain rippling through her.

Nana Lois nodded hurriedly. “I'll get him...” She was saying but Sharon could barely hear her past the pain she was experiencing.

“Sharon,” Matthew's voice by her side felt like healing balm poured over her hurting body. She craned her head to the side so she could look into his eyes as the next contraction followed closely, the intensity of the pain much worse than the last one.

Matthew trapped her hand in his and she held on tight, burying her nails into his skin. She waited a while for the pain to pass before turning to him.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I ran off.” She spoke in a hurry, afraid the pain would disrupt her speech when she really needed to get the message across to him. “I was misinformed and not trusting you—” Tears ran down her cheek, her lips pressed together to keep from yelling. She couldn't do this anymore; she couldn't take this pain for much longer —it felt like such a terrible way to die.

“Blondie,” His lips brushed her white knuckles.

“...is the worst thing I've ever done in my life because I love you, Matthew, I really do.” Her words came out in broken sobs, her emotions helping to weaken her body further.

He leaned forward, his gaze holding hers. “I love you, too Blondie, much more than anything in the world.” A thin smile curved his lips as his fingers brushed her damp hair off of her forehead.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yes, Sharon Freelance Steiner, my beautiful wife. I love you, I really do and I'm so sorry that I ever made you doubt that.”

She heard a strange sound, only realizing after a second that she was laughing. With so much pain racing through her body, she was surprised she could find it in herself to laugh. But the thought of Matthew by her side, loving her —really loving her— gave her the strength that she needed.

“Now, Blondie,” he knelt by her side. “Let's do this; let's have this child together.”

*

It was day break before the sound of a yelling child reverberated through the walls of the building. Sharon had a difficult birth and by the time the child finally decided to make her dramatic entrance into the world, Sharon was too exhausted to even hold her and quickly fell asleep.

Staring down at the sleeping child in his arms, a small smile settled on Matthew's lips.

“Matthew, put that child down for a while and come down for breakfast.” Nana Lois called from the doorway, but Matthew ignored her. He couldn't tear his eyes off of his baby long enough to acknowledge her. “Now!” She said sharply, her voice laced with the same authority she used on him growing up.

“I'm not hungry.” He said.

The sound of her approaching footsteps drew his attention. He turned to her, a frown on her face as she reached forward and wrestled the sleeping child from him. “I'll take her and you'll eat something.” She turned from him.

He sat eating his breakfast in the kitchen as quickly as he could and once he was done, he returned to the room and spent the entire day by Sharon's bedside watching her sleep, while Nana cared for the baby.

Leaning down over her, he brushed her forehead and she moaned, her eyelids flickering apart as tired blue eyes came to rest on him.

“Hello beautiful.” He smiled, smoothing her hair.

“Matthew?” She whispered. “How's the baby?” Her gaze shifted from him and to the room.

“According to the doctor, she should be fine. But of course he'll keep an eye on her.” He said and she nodded. “Do you need anything?”

“Just to see her,” she said.

“She's with Nana. She was afraid she'd wake you up. Do you think you'll be fine while I go get her?” He waited until she nodded once, before rising to his feet and making his way out of the room in search of Nana Lois whom he suspected was in the guest room they had turned into a nursery.

Entering the room, he found Nana Lois seated on a rocking chair with the a pink bundle in her hands.

“Matthew?”

He nodded, motioning to the bundle. “Sharon wants to see her.”

“Very well,” she rose to her feet and crossed the room, placing the baby in his arms. “She's such a sweet pea.”

He grinned, glancing down briefly to stare at the red cheeked, bald beauty in his arms; she was perfect. He muttered a 'thank you' to Nana Lois before making his way back to Sharon's room. He placed the baby in her arms and watched as her countenance lighted up.

“She's so beautiful.” She exclaimed before turning sharply to him. “She's a she, right?”

He laughed at the expression on her face. “What do you think?”

“Oh, I can't tell, Matthew! I thought I heard the doctor say it's a girl but I was too exhausted to pay attention. Half of last night is lost in my memory. I think the only thing I remember is saying I'm sorry.” Her eyes grew sad. “You know I really am sorry and I wasn't just saying that.”

“I know.” He nodded, leaning down to kiss her head.

Straightening, he heard the door open behind him and turned around just in time to watch Nana Lois enter the room.

“Matthew, I think you need to see this.” Nana Lois called from the door way, interrupting their precious moment.

“What is it?” He grumbled.

“A letter.”

“It can wait,” he waved her off.

“I'm afraid it's important.” She held the letter out to him, maintaining her position by the doorway. It was on the top of his tongue to ask her to bring it to him, but there was something about the look in her eyes that silently urged him to go to her.

Reluctantly, he rose to his feet, covering the distance between them and retrieving the letter from her hands.

“It's from your mother,” she said, watching him.

Nodding, he stared at it, unsure of how to feel about hearing from his family after so many months. The last time he was with them, he had kicked them off of his farm. He knew his mother wasn't to blame for the actions of his father, but he wasn't sure she was ready to resume communications with them just yet.

“I'm afraid there's some bad news as well, Matthew.” Nana Lois's small whisper reached him as he turned to go back to Sharon's bedside.

Stiffening, he turned back around. “What bad news?”

“It's George Freelance,”

His heart immediately sank at the mention of Sharon's father. Stepping outside the room, he closed the door silently behind him before turning fully to face Nana Lois. “What about Sharon's father?”

“He's dead.”

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