Until I Really Do

Chapter Fourteen

Gretchen Riverside sat on a chair in the kitchen, her fingers twirling around a tea cup, her feet crossed under the table and her mind filled with images of but one man; Matthew.

After Matthew left home a year ago, she had managed to convince herself that it was only a matter of time before he ran back to her — she had been painfully mistaken. Not only had he managed to settle down in an elaborate house, he had also gotten married; she frowned, her gaze fixed on the black, steaming liquid in her tea cup.

What are you doing here, Gretchen?

She didn't know. She had known of Matthew's marriage even before she agreed to this trip. The news had been like a slap to her massive ego, and like a fool, she had proposed to join his family on a trip to his farm. She hadn't been expecting to find a thriving farm, a beautiful home, and an even more beautiful wife. Still, it was exactly what she saw, and it left her reeling in jealousy.

She swung her feet back and forth underneath the table as she pictured the look on his face the last time they had talked:

"I do apologize, Matt, I just can't possibly picture a life with you. While you do have a lot of money to your name, I'm afraid it's just not enough."

Matthew, on his knees with an engagement ring in his hands, had looked about ready to faint.

She heaved a breath. It had been the worst decision of her life; she knew that now and she regretted it. Perhaps it was because her entire life had changed in the span of one year for not only did her father manage to get into a phony business scheme, but he was also being investigated and their entire estate had been confiscated. What was even worse, Lucas Greenfield, the man her family thought would have been a suitable match for her, had all but blatantly refused her hand in marriage once the news of her family's present situation got to him.

Here she sat, heartbroken and with absolutely no money to her name. The only reason Matthew's family had no knowledge of her present predicament was because the case was still being investigated silently and Grace, Matthew's sister and the town's gossip, had been away in school in London for three years and had only returned to San Francisco a month ago. Soon enough, news of the dwindled fortune of the Riversides would hit the town's newspaper headlines and Gretchen and her entire family would become a laughing stock.

In spite of it all, something in Gretchen believed there was hope. Perhaps it was that thing that brought her here; perhaps she had come to California in hopes that she could remind Matthew of the fact that it was her that he was in love with. That way, maybe she wouldn't have to lose out completely?

"Up early?"

Startled, her swinging foot lost its balance underneath the table causing her to lean backward on the chair, her weight pushing the chair back with her arms flaring in the air. She shut her eyes in anticipation of the fall but a force pushed her chair forward, saving the situation.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you approaching. I should have been paying attention."

Matthew, on his knees, studied her for a few seconds, his gaze holding hers. "Everything alright, Gretchen?"

"Of course!" She forced a smile to her lips. "Good morning to you, Matt."

His features hardened and he rose to his feet. "'Morning, Gretchen."

He walked over to the steaming kettle and poured himself a cup of coffee. Taking the seat on the far end of the table, away from her, she thought, he took a sip of his coffee.

"Don't you want to know why I'm up so early, Matt?" She batted her eyelashes.

He shrugged and placed the cup on the table. "I have to get going." He rose to his feet and made for the door.

"Where..."

The back door cracked open and the old black woman who took care of Matthew while he was younger, walked through it. Gretchen, although she knew the Steiners for many years, never bothered to know the name of their helps.

"Good morning Matthew."

She watched as Matthew smiled and gave the maid a kiss on the cheeks.

"Good morning, Nana, glad you're back. You’re a little late, but I’m happy to see you." Matthew sounded genuinely relieved.

"Gretchen?" The maid raised a brow, turning to Matthew in question.

He sighed. "My family is here."

"They are now, aren't they?" She turned back to Gretchen. "Well, it's good to see you after all this time, Gretchen." She placed the basket in her hands on the sink. "I should get breakfast started before everybody else wakes up."

"And I should get going."

"Wait!" Gretchen called, springing to her feet and nearly spilling the content of her cup all over herself. Matt and the maid turned to look at her. "I should come with you." She settled the cup on the table and straightened.

"Why?" Matt frowned.

She shrugged. I want to be near you. She offered a bright smile. "I could help."

"With what exactly?" Matt looked at her with skepticism.

"Um..." She didn't know the first thing about farm work. "I'm not sure."

"Then I doubt you can be of any help." He said tersely.

Gretchen watched him, seeing clearly the anger that dented his features. It was then, as she stared at him, that she realized he was still hurt by her rejection a year ago, and if he was hurt, then there was the possibility that he was still in love with her!

"Of course I can," she made her way around the table to where he stood beside the maid. "Tell me where it is you're headed and I'll come with you." He opened his mouth to most likely argue, but Gretchen wasn't having any of it; she wasn't going to let him push her away. She raised a hand, silencing him. "I'm not going to take no for an answer, Matt, I believe you know how persistent I can be. As a matter of fact, I believe that's one of the things you love about me."  She winked, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm.

The frown on his face deepened. "I was going to town for some supplies."

"Good!" she chirped. "Nobody is better at shopping than I am," she said as she began herding him toward the door.

They stepped into the chilly morning, the dark sky overhead making it difficult to see the distance. Silence settled over them as they rode to town in the wagon. Turning to steal a glance at him, she noticed the muscle that worked in his jaw as his hands gripped tightly to the reins, leaving green veins racing in his arm muscles.

"What has got you so tensed?" She tried and failed to break the icy silence that stood between them. He didn't even look like he had heard her. "Matthew?" She touched his arm.

Startled, he jerked his arm, pulling abruptly at the reins and most likely frightening the horses because they suddenly veered off of the road.

Horrified, Gretchen let out a loud gasp as he pulled the wagon to a halt

"Gretchen, are you okay?" He touched her face, worry lines racing across his forehead.

She nodded, tears filling her eyes and pouring down her face. Turning fully to face him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in close. "Oh, thank goodness you're okay, Matt! I'm sorry I scared you."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Gretchen, I should have been paying attention." He sat stiffly in her arms.

"You seem very upset." She tightened her hold around him, reveling in the feeling of being so close to him.

He pulled away and stared at her, his eyes searching hers. "I have had a stressful couple of days." He answered simply before turning his attention back to the road again.

It was a few more minutes before the town came into view. They stopped by the curb and Matthew helped her down the side of the wagon.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He frowned. "You can wait in the wagon if you wish."

She shook her head. "No, I want to help."  She also wanted him to see how helpful she could be by his side, and also to know that she regretted her actions a year ago and wanted to make things right.

"Very well,"

She followed him into the shop, making sure to stand very closely by his side. After he exchanged pleasantries with the owner of the shop —a short, bulky man with a white apron tied around his waist— and gave him a list of some of the things he needed, the man nodded before turning inquisitive brown eyes to her.

"And who might this lovely lady be? Don’t believe I’ve seen her around here. Is she your wife?" he held out his hand to her.

"N-" Matthew began to protest, but Gretchen stepped forward and shook the elderly man's hand.

"Why yes, I am. It's a pleasure to meet you."

He turned to Matthew. "She's quite the looker. Mind telling me where I can find me one of these?"

Giggling, Gretchen ignored Matthew's tense muscles underneath her fingers where she clung to his arm. "My, that's a pretty nice thing to say, mister but it seems to me that Matthew here is in a hurry to get back to his farm, so how about you get those supplies now, and we'll be on our way."

"Of course," he turned from them.

Gretchen turned back to Matthew and flashed him a smile. He turned sharply around, the smile on her face fading as he walked out through the doors, leaving her standing there alone.

~*~

"You are not upset with me, are you?" Gretchen called from her position beside him as they rode back to the farm that morning.

Matthew was indeed furious. He was uncertain whether it was her announcement to Ben —the supply shop owner— that they were married, or the rapid pounding of his heart against his ribcage when she sat so closely to him, or when she held his hands, confirming his suspicion that he was still in love with her.

Choosing to ignore her question, he urged the horse forward until they were driving into the farm. He brought the wagon to a halt before the building and jumped down the side.

"Matthew!" Gretchen called, hurrying over to him as he made to go into the building. She held his hand, stopping him.

Releasing a puff of air in exasperation, he turned to her. The tears glistened in her brown eyes tugged on the strings of his heart, frustrating him further. "I'm not in the mood for this, Gretchen,"

"But I said I'm sorry,"

Matthew wasn't certain whether it was the self pity in her eyes, or his quickening heartbeat that aided his anger, but he jerked his hand from her. "Are you?!" He half yelled. "Are you, Gretchen?! And what exactly are you sorry for? Breaking my heart, throwing my engagement in my face, turning away from me when I needed you the most, or showing up here most likely to manipulate my feelings and drag me back to exactly where you left me a year ago?!"

Breathing was difficult. Matthew felt his rage pump through every vein in his body until his heart threatened to burst out of his chest.

Gretchen's lips folded into a pout and he knew in that instance that she sought to manipulate him. It was why she was here; to manipulate her way back into his life.

Why?

She had already turned her back on him a year ago, what did she want?

"Matthew," she stepped forward, tension filling his body as she approached.

Placing a hand against the side of his face, he watched her lean forward until her warm breath was pouring over his skin, her lips only an inch from his.

Common sense urged him to pull away from her, but for some reason, his legs held him prisoner as she closed the distance between them and captured his lips.

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Author's Note :

Gasps* Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Is Gretchen about to snatch Sharon's man?

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