Panda's Box

Chapter 9: The First Step

Chapter 9

Justine and I fell asleep on the couch to one of Ricky's and Lucy's arguments that night. I woke up to my mother's voice in the kitchen- she had made the trip down for the weekend.

My aunt had divided the weekend into spending time at the bakery and shopping for a suitable outfit for the interview. I was on my fifth outfit, when Justine yelled, "Yaass girl."

My mother and aunt nodded in unison as it was decided that I would go with the white stripes collared shirt, black pencil skirt, and nude flats.

"Oh, you could wear your hair in a bun," suggested Justine.

"I think she should wear it down, her curls are so lovely," offered Aunt Josie.

"Mhmm, I don't know...maybe half up-half down?" asked my mother as we made our way to the cashier.

I was beginning to have this nauseating feeling of Lane in the back of my mind when I heard my phone buzz.

For a short moment, I was filled with relief... until I saw the caller ID.

"Hey Cindy,"

I was greeted with a cheerful somewhat caffeinated voice, "Panda, OMG I thought you fell off the face of the earth. You would never guess who I ran into. Lane and Danny, but when I brought up your name, they acted weird, especially Lane. So I decided to call you. Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Cindy, calm down," I replied. "I'm with family and I'm fine...for the most part."

"Okay, so what happened between you and Lane?"

"Did you ask her?"

"Duh, she said nothing. She said you were both doing different things for the summer."

"Well then, there you have it. We are both doing different things for the summer," I sighed as I looked into the mirror and played with a strand of hair.

"Ugh, why are you people so boring? Anyways, enjoy your summer. Oh wait...are you going to the senior camp?" she asked, almost like an afterthought.

"Well, I am a senior and it is a camp for seniors, so..."

"So???"

"Yes Cindy, I should be able to make an appearance," I was slowly losing my patience with this call.

"Good good, okay, see you then. Tata." The phone went dead.

"Oh why did I have to answer the call?" I asked to no one in particular.

"My question exactly, you've been avoiding everyone all summer," replied Justine.

I gave her a seriously, are you kidding me look and made my way to the food court downstairs.

By the time they had caught up to me, I was about to make an order from the Mexican wrap station.

"You know, she is right," started my mother, "Cade and Noah call to check up on you couple times per week. Have you texted them at all this summer?"

I sighed and bit my lips. "No ma'am," I finally replied.

"Do you plan on talking to them at all? Summer won't last forever young lady."

"Yes ma'am." I could feel my cheeks burning. You stupid stupid girl, don't make a scene; do not cry I thought to myself.

"I'll meet you back at the bakery," I said, trying not to sound like I was choking.

My mom patted my shoulder and nodded. I spun around and made my way to the parking lot as fast as I could.

When I got outside, I couldn't help but let a tear slip. Why was I crying? I thought-Because you let a little argument turn into a war and treated your best friends like dirt, replied a little voice.

I ran through the parking lot and down the street where I saw an available taxi cab. I asked him to bring me to the bakery, but changed my mind when I got there and told him to bring me to the park instead.

How did I get here? I thought...no, never mind, don't answer, but the little voice answered anyways- Because you allowed fear to rule, you feared you'd mess up, so you tried not to mess up and guess what? You messed up.

I was crying harder now, but I didn't realize it until I tasted the salt.

I sat down on a bench by a rose bush and took out my phone. I looked at it, scrolled through, pressed send, but then cancelled.

Come on I thought. You need to make this right. Lord, please help me make this right.

So I began again, it rang and the person picked up.

"Panda Marx, where have you been?"

"Hey Nash," I replied. It was good to hear his voice.

"I tried calling, I even visited your mom couple times."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but I am sorry Nash," I said with tears streaming.

"Well, it's a start. You are with your aunt right?"

"Um, yh. Look, I shouldn't have let this gone on so long. It didn't even involve you or Cade. I just snapped and..."

"Forget about it Panda, we all know Lane can be...well, Lane. You needed time and I'm sure Cade understands, he's a big boy."

I smiled; he was always good at being so optimistic. "Thanks Nash."

"No need for that. Listen, I am about to run some errands, so I'll talk to you soon Okay?"

"Okay."

"And Panda, by soon I do not mean the day before school."

I chuckled at this, "Yes Nash. Goodbye."

"Later Panda."

After that called, I tried calling Cade, but got no answer, so I left a message; however, I did not have the strength to call Lane.

I stayed there for a while, until I saw Justine making her way towards me, with what seemed to be a Mexican wrap.