Panda's Box

Chapter 13: Secret Keepers

Chapter 13

Later that night after my uncle had made his way upstairs, I went into the kitchen to find my mother and my aunt in deep conversation.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hey there Ms. Writer," announced my aunt.

I gave a broad smile. It felt good to have something that was apart of God's plan for me... something that I was steward over.

My mother turned around and smiled.

"Look," I started, "Umm...is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?" asked Aunt Josie.

"Well, Nash told me that you LEFT Justine in charge and Ruthie's shop was closed." I made sure to stress the word and kept a serious gaze on them.

Aunt Josie looked nervously towards my mother.

"What's wrong with me leaving Justine in charge?" asked my aunt as she placed some dishes in the sink.

I carefully stated, "Nothing, but you never say-Justine you are in charge...you usually just say your stepping out and we all know Justine is in charge, and if Justine isn't there, the rest of them hold things down until you're back."

They were hiding something, I could tell...but what I wondered.

"Well," started my aunt, "Well darling..."

"Well, Ruth has been having a hard couple of days," blurted out my mother.

"What does she mean by that?" I asked, looking at my aunt.

She came around the counter, took a seat on the stool and said, "Things just haven't been working out well for Ruth...tell you what, why don't you skip the chores for tomorrow and go visit with her. I bet she would enjoy seeing a friendly face," offered my aunt.

"Umm, okay...I guess. Well, goodnight then."

I was about to leave when my mother asked, "Is Nash okay? He looked a bit tense himself when he left."

I was hoping she didn't realize that. "I...I don't know," I said, turning around to face them.

"He got a call when we got back to the bakery and everything just shifted afterwards."

"Did you try calling him?" asked my mom.

"Yes, he texted me to say he was home, but other than that...I've heard nothing. I tried calling Cade too, but he says my guess is as good as his."

"Well what about your friend Lane?" asked my aunt.

I saw my mother shoot her a look, which my aunt ignored.

"Well, we still aren't speaking. I guess if it's important... he'll tell me soon," I sighed.

I kissed them goodnight and headed back to my room.

I checked my phone, but there were no notifications. I sat on my bed, running the day through my mind. I really enjoyed Nash's visit, but I could not get over his mood when he left, not to mention everyone's weird reaction towards Ruth.

I then took up my journal to write, but nothing came to me. The last thing I remembered before drifting asleep was asking God to help me to be there for my friends.

**

-Nash-

"Did you tell her?"

"No...I couldn't she was so happy about today. To be honest, I almost forgot about it myself...then the call came.

Why does everything have to be like this dad? Why did God do this?"

"I don't know son...but He gave you wonderful friends to help us through... you have to tell them son, especially Panda. You two rely on each other so much, she deserves to know that your mother is sick," said my dad as he looked out the window.

It's still hard for him to accept that she may not be here much longer. Everything was going fine; it was just a routine check-up. The doctors said it could be anything, not to worry.

I cannot imagine my life without my mother and I cannot bring myself to admit that she may not be here.Today was a reminder that she is no longer the cheerful, strong, and vibrant woman she used to be.

She was getting better, that's why I took today to go see Pan. Never in my wildest nightmares did I expect to get a call that she collapsed and was in an induced coma. Never did I imagine that the doctor would tell me that the cancer was back, chemo wouldn't do much...it was first in her breast, now it was spreading...

"I felt awful for leaving her there and lying to her like that dad."

He got up and placed his hands on my shoulder, "You should tell them. They will be there for you...you need to let them be there for you Nash."

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I forced out an "I know."

"Why are you so afraid?"

My throat was tightening, my eyes continued to burn. I let out a sob, "I can't admit it dad. It's like if I don't say it aloud, maybe it won't be true."

He hugged me, he held on real tight, and stammered, "It's okay to have fears Nash, it's part of being human, but the only way to deal with those fears is if you admit them to yourself and hand them over to Jesus."