Sharp Souls: A Red vs Blue Fanfic [FelixxReader] Book #2

Epilogue

13 Years Later: Felix's POV

Dear (Y/N),

Sarah's sixteen now. There's not a day that goes by where she doesn't ask about her mom.

She asks about what you're like. Your appearance, personality, your likes and dislikes, pet peeves, etc. She asks about how we met because she going through that whole romantic teenager phase and oh! That reminds me. She's got a boyfriend now. And yes, I am nice to him...for the most part. In fact, I'm teaching him how to spray paint. But I know that if you were here you'd be overreacting, probably tell me to lighten up on the kid because I'm giving him a hard time but I can assure you...he can handle it.

Everyone misses you. Caboose takes care of Mittens for you and Sarah visits you every day. You guys talk for hours and I can tell that she hurts. She hurts when she can't hear you reply or give you hugs and...I don't know. It hurts me too.

It's my fault you're gone...I knew this was going to happen. I knew somehow that I was going to lose you because I felt it. And I didn't want to feel it, I didn't, so I distracted myself...I thought the pain, the thoughts, and the feelings of losing you would go away if I felt something else. But it didn't. All that's left are scars-no, reminders that I lost everything...and it's all my fault. I knew that one day you'd be gone...and you couldn't come back.

I don't even know what I'm saying at this point...why am I even writing this?

God...I love you...

...and I'll never stop loving you.

I can't move on, and I know I'm supposed to, but I can't. I keep holding on hoping that one day you'll come back, that one day you'll be safe again, that I can hold you in my arms and never let you go but...I can't.

It gets harder every day...to keep holding on. But I do it because...well, because I love you.

I love your (E/C) eyes and the way they'd sparkle when you looked at me or when you'd gaze up at the stars even though their beauty was no match for yours. I love the way your gentle hands fit perfectly in mine and we'd walk to some unknown place because you'd want to get lost with me. I love your (H/C) hair and how it'd be all messy in the morning but, to me, still as perfect as ever. I love your voice and the way you'd say 'I love you'. Yeah...I loved that.

Damn, did you change me, (Y/N). You found the good in me and brought me back. You made me feel feelings that I never even knew existed. You saw me at my darkest times but you still loved me you still...cared for me.

You were my everything, (Y/N).

But now...you're gone.

And it's all my fault.

Please god...I love you...