Hopeless Situation

Chapter 40

Home Sweet Home

The car stopped right in front of the little house. Indeed there were only a few homes nearby, and there was a lake on the passing to here. The forest was still outback, covered in trees and snow.

Fiona glowed upon seeing the house. She was inches from opening the car door and running in. She had on a huge smile. A smile that said that she couldn't have been happier. Maybe somewhere, Fiona thought that her young children would still be home and she could go in and tell them she was here. Maybe somewhere, Fiona thought that time really hadn't past from when she was gone.

For Sophie it was the same amount of time that she was gone from this house. It brought back memories for her too, but her reaction wasn't as delightful as Fiona's. Sophie was more afraid. She was scared that when her mom would enter the house, she wouldn't see what she wanted to. The house was emptied. With only furniture and some photos left behind. But more importantly it didn't have little Daniel and Sophie in it.

Nathan waiting for the two to step out and when no one did he cleared his throat and said, "We're here."

Fiona opened her door wide open, and ran towards the house. At first she looked at the door and hesitated to knock or open it. Then with a twist of the door nob she was in. Each step she took breathed out relief and comfort. She smelt the room and said to herself, "feels so great to be home."

Sophie on the other hand stayed where she was. She couldn't go in and be reminded of all the great memories. The reason she had left this place was because she knew it would have haunted her. She looked at the house, as she remembered herself as a child with Daniel playing outside in the white snow, making a snowman or an angel.

"Do you want to go?" Nathan asked quietly.

All Sophie did was stay silent. Her breath made little clouds because of the coldness that was taking over the car. Still she did not say anything.

Nathan reached over and tried to hold her hand. "We can go in together."

Sophie took the hand back, and wrapped them around herself to keep warm. Her gaze did not leave the building. Sophie didn't feel ready to go in. Every moment in the house, she'd be reminded of how she was the cause of the emptiness.

Nathan stepped out of the car and walked around to Sophie's side. He opened her door and put out his hand. "Come on Sophie. You can't stay here forever. Come with me please. You're mom's waiting."

Sophie looked up at him. Then she took his hand and brought herself up. Sophie was shivering in the cold, and also from the fear of walking in.

Nathan took off his coat and wrapped it around her. At first Sophie's instinct was to remove it, but then he put it back on and kept his arm around her shoulder. He was stronger than her, and she was already weak from crying the entire ride here.

Sophie let him guide her to the front of the door because she knew she wouldn't have been able to do it alone. She probably would have ran the other direction if she could. Then they walked in and Sophie took a deep trip to memory lane. What was in front of her now, was the same as it was 5 years ago.

The pictures neatly aligned, the wooden floor cold on winter days, the rugs, the fireplace heated up, the kitchen set up for dinner, and on the floor infront of the couch was her brother with his toy cars.

Sophie smiled at him as he waved her to come and join him. She shook her head. He was so young and she was too old to play cars. He called her again, but this time she looked up at Nathan to ask him to let her go. Nathan removed his arm, and when Sophie looked back at the floor no one was there. Daniel wasn't there nor were his cars. Everything was different. There was no fireplace, or rugs. The photos, those that were left behind, were crooked. There was no dinner set up. In the dark empty room, all there was was loneliness.

That day Sophie cried like she never had before. Fiona tried to comfort her not knowing why she was crying. Sophie cried into her mom's arms letting out everything. The wall had finally broken. Seeing this empty home was the last brick that was pulled. Sophie cried for her dead brother, her lost mother, and her ruined life. Happiness felt unreachable to her.

Nathan stood a distance away from the two. He let Sophie cry to her mom as he lit the fireplace. He knew she needed this. For a girl who kept all her feelings bottled inside of her, she needed to finally let all of it go.

Then after a while, the storm had finally cleared.

Fiona was upstairs arranging all her belonging in the room that was hers. She knew that no one lived her for the time she was gone. She was afraid to ask where her kids were, because they were obviously not home. She then smacked herself lightly on the forehead remembering their age. Too young to live alone so they must be with their uncle and aunt. She wanted to bring them here, but she knew the girl downstairs wasn't ready yet. She needed to let Sophie relax and calm down first, and then she could ask for another favor. So Fiona quietly unpacked.

Sophie had finished her flooding of tears so she sat quietly on the empty sofa, with nothing but a fireplace lit infront of her. She breathed in and out, focusing only on keeping calm. She closed her eyes, to forget where she was. She wanted to go back to her "home" though she knew that's not what it was.

"Do you still need a moment?" Nathan was still standing by the fireplace. Sophie had completely forgotten that he was here.

"Nathan you should go." Sophie said blankly.

"So that's a yes?" Nathan brushed his fingers through his hair in confusion.

Sophie turned away. Facing a wall she said "I said you should leave."

Nathan stayed where he was. He couldn't leave her here could he? If anything, he felt he needed to look after her in order to keep her sane. "I'm not going anywhere." He said with his feet firmly on the ground.

He was starting to annoy Sophie. She didn't have the time or the strength to fight with him. Her head was pounding, and all she needed to do was take a nap. Sophie pushed herself up off the couch in order to go upstairs when she lost her balance and almost fell.

Nathan's first instinct was to catch her. So he ran forward reaching for her, when Sophie put out her hand to stop him.

She thought she was okay. With her other hand she held her forehead to stop the pain. She took a couple of footsteps when the dizziness kicked in again. She needed to hold the stair railing to stop herself from falling.

"Screw this." Nathan said to himself before fully picking her up into his arms.

"Put me down." Sophie demanded. "I don't need your help."

"Shut up. You're going to hurt yourself if you keep talking."

Sophie tried to pull herself down, when her head struck with pain. So she stopped resisting till he put her down on the bed. She sat upright, while leaning against the bed frame.

Nathan felt like his work here was done so he turned around to go see if Fiona needed any help when he felt a tug on his arm.

Sophie managed to grab Nathan's arm before he left. "Go after answering one thing for me." This question had been eating Sophie inside out. Before she was afraid of the answer, but not anymore. The wall was broken, nothing else could hurt her. Or could it? "Why are you here?"

Nathan turned around and looked at her deeply. Did she really not know? "For you stupid."

Sophie shook her head, but it hurt so she stopped. "No. Now tell me for real."

"Seriously." Nathan stopped to think about what he should say next. "Sophie, I'm here because I never left. I tried but I couldn't."

"What does that even mean?" Sophie could see her eyes closing in. "Nathan I gave you two months..."

"And in the two months I realized that it wasn't possible for me to go." Nathan shrugged. "Now go to sleep. I'll be in the other room helping your mom. Call if you need me." With that he closed the door behind him and went to Fiona's room.

He was gone before she could ask him anything else, so Sophie shut her eyes and shut everything else out.