Hopeless Situation

Chapter 46

Gone

It was the loud noise upstairs that made Sophie drop the phone and run. A crash, like something fell. Like someone fell. Sophie's heart ached as she ran up the stairs in a hurry. Each flight of stairs taking longer than it should.


Sophie was afraid. She hoped and prayed it wasn't what she thought it was. But like everything in her life... It was the complete opposite.  Sophie was indeed always doomed to be hopeless. 


When Sophie got to the top she clasped her mouth with her hands. Sophie just froze at the top as she found her mother unconscious on the washroom floor with the door wide open. She screamed immediately before running to her mother. 


Sophie bent over at her mother's side, her hands shaking frantically.  She placed her hands on Fiona's cheeks and tried to wake her up. Sophie went as far as to place her head on Fiona's chest to hear for the slightest signs of breathing. Sophie needed her mother to be alive.  She couldn't stand being separated from her again so soon. Sophie's heart was racing a thousand miles per second. Sophie's thoughts were scattered and her life was slowly shattering. 


Completely out of her mind, Sophie got up and stumbled around looking for the phone in the washroom. "Where is it... Someone call 911... The phone....where is it....call 911... someone help..." 


She suddenly then remembered that the phone was downstairs, where she had last used it. Sophie ran down desperately, nearly tripping on the bottom step and falling face flat. She then stumbled forward and found the phone that was on the floor. "The phone... The phone....mom...911..." She grabbed the phone like a child snatching the last cookie from a group of crazy hungry children, and then she bolted up. 


Sophie went back to Fiona and felt her heartbeat to make sure she was alive. Then quickly remembering the phone, she fumbled to turn the device on. 



Just then she felt a hand reach up and touch her own. Sophie immediately looked down at her mom feeling relieved. "I'm getting help mom...you'll be okay..." 


Fiona slowly replied, lingering on each word like they took so much energy to say. "No. Don't call." 


Sophie's was having the hardest time trying to press 3 numbers. Her hands weren't cooperating with her mind. As soon as she heard Fiona tell her not to call, she stopped dialing in a state of shock. Then she looked down, trying not to let her mother convince her in any way. "No mom, I have to..." Sophie began to cry as she brought the phone to her ear.


Fiona's eyes were closing in. "Please don't.  I don't have anymore time baby. It's my time to go. Every second counts... I can't waste them in a closed hospital room." Fiona took a pause as she felt tired from the talking. "I want to spend it with you." 


"Hello? Anyone on the other line?"Sophie could hear the officer speaking. she stayed silent. "if there is a problem please tell us now. Hello?" Silence. "Just you're name and location please. Hello?" 


Sophie was in the centre of confusion. she didn't know what to do. Should she leave her mother in a hospital bed where she knew she'd be alive... or would she keep her here knowing she could die? 


Sophie thought about it for a second before she turned the phone off. She couldn't kill off her mother emotionally now that she knew she would never be happy in the hospital. Sophie dropped the phone unknowingly as it slipped from her grip, and jumped at the sound of the metal hitting the ground. Then Sophie held Fiona's hand as she cried into them like a baby not wanting to let go. "you'll be okay... I won't let you go... I'm scared." Sophie admitted.


"I know beautiful." Fiona smiled still keeping her eyes tightly closed. "Don't fear losing me...I'm always going to be there watching over you." 



Sophie perched her lips together as a sniffle escaped her lips. "why can't you do that here? I just found you... it's not fair." 



Fiona took in a deep breath through her mouth.  "It's time baby... just like you said... it's my time to go join Daniel... and together we'll look down on you." 


"I'm selfish. I can't let you go to him. Not now..." Sophie pressed her head on her mother's chest as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. The two lay there on the cold washroom floor crying until there was no more tears left in their eyes. 



The next three months were a blur. Sophie turned every connection that she had with the outside world off. Her one and only focus in life was to take care of her dying mother, and give up everything for her. 


She stopped answering phone calls and wouldn't open the door when people came around, unless it was medicine delivery or the mail. 


She  took on all responsibilities for Fiona, from bathing her to feeding her and taking her on evening strolls. It had become somewhat of a routine and Fiona never needed to ask when she needed something, because somehow Sophie would always know. 


Fiona was now constantly in a wheelchair since getting around was nearly impossible for her. Her hands were so thin that a child's bracelet could slip off easily. Sophie would try and force feed her, but Fiona no longer could eat due to the lack of taste. When it was time for Fiona to take a bath, Sophie would lift her up and into the tub and wash her like a child. 


Fiona wasn't old, she was in her mid forties, yet it felt that time had caught up to her and she needed to be watched over like a woman reaching her late eighties. 


Sophie could see herself quickly taking on the role of what her mother played years ago. This was Sophie's way of giving back for the many years of guidance and nurturing. This was her way of showing how much she appreciated her mother and how much she'll truly miss her. 


"what's black, white, and red all over?" Sophie asked that one day Fiona and her were by the lake.  


Fiona thought for a moment. She knew this one! She remembers reciting it to her children. "It's an animal..." She said quietly. 



Sophie smiled thinking that Fiona had it this time. "Yes!" 


Fiona closed her eyes as she leaned back on her wheelchair feeling the cool breeze wash over her face. She thought hard. What is it? What is this animal? "Is it... I don't remember." She breathed out.


Sophie's face fell, but she wasn't disappointed. she knew that Fiona's memory was slowly dying. She knew that it had come to the point where she was physically and mentally weak. Sophie put on a smile and adjusted the blanket that was around Fiona. "It's a zebra with a sunburn... It's okay, you'll remember next time." 


Sophie grabbed onto the wheelchair handle and was about to turn it around away from the water  and towards home when Fiona stopped her.  "Stay a little longer. I like it here." 


Sophie nodded. She pushed the wheelchair towards a park bench and placed it there. Sophie sat down on the park bench, held Fiona's left hand, and watched her closely. She watched Fiona's chest rise and sink as she took in each breath.  She watched her mother smiling through the corner of her mouth. Sophie looked at Fiona close and reopen her eyes as she took in her surroundings. Sophie watched her be happy and at peace. At that very moment Sophie knew that the decision she made three months ago was the right one. 


The two sat in silence as the wind swirled around them. The water swayed from side to side. The birds sang, but as the day went on even the birds stopped. Fiona and Sophie both observed the sky turn from blue to red to purple. 


Then finally,  it was darkness that took over. Fiona's eyes closed, and this time it never reopened. The last think Sophie said before dropping her mother's weightless hand was "thank you."