Remember Me

Chapter 15

Two months later...

"A bouquet of those pink hydrangeas please." I address the florist. "Good choice," She says, taking the cash from my hands in exchange for the flowers. "Have a great day." She says and I just faintly smile before exiting the shop. I toss the flowers in the passenger seat of my car and drive off. So about a couple of weeks ago I re-learned how to drive and got a new license. I drive with one hand on the wheel while rummaging through my contact list with the other. I scrolled down till I hit the one I wanted and clicked the call button. It rang three times till she picked up, "hello?"

"Hey Dylan, where are you know,"

"The same place I was when you called me just five minutes ago."

"Sorry," I sigh. "I just really need to get this done."

"Trust me M, I know. No one has been suffering as much as you have. No one has worked as hard as you have. Not even me. How long since you even slept?" I drive in silence as I try and calculate how long it's been. "Six days. Though I have took a few naps here and there."

"Shit M, you got to sleep. Promise me you'll take a nap before I arrive."

"Mhm," I murmur, hoping that she doesn't catch on that that was a mixture of a no and a maybe. Thankfully she doesn't catch on. We both say bye and I place my phone back in the cup holder and rest my hand back on the wheel. The sound of the elevator ding, is what awoken me from my thoughts, thoughts that I wish were real. I have been zoning out a lot lately. Maybe it's because of my lack of sleep. For three months I have been trying to find the slightest lead on Carlos's whereabouts and haven't been able to find any. It's been stressing me out lately so much that sleep just won't come to me anymore. Day and night I have been trying to put pieces of the puzzle together, I got as much evidence as I could from the mansion two months ago and I have been trying to find clues, Kristian tried tracking the phone number that'd called Elena and tried comparing the two situations but we still had nothing. I walk down the hall, holding my bouquet of pink hydrangeas. I make a left and turn the knob on the room door, tossing the hydrangeas on the hospital bed. "Why the hell aren't you dressed yet?" I sigh.

"Remember I had my last rehab session?"

"Yeah, Kristian three hours ago."

"Okay, well remember nurse hottie?"

"Nurse Suzanne." I correct.

"Yeah her, well I am trying to see if I can get a sponge bath out of her." I roll my eyes and fold my arms over chest. Kristian chuckles and then averts his eyes to the flowers that I had tossed on his legs. "Seriously Pink Hydrangeas, again? How many times do I have to tell you that I hate hydrangeas and the god damn color pink?" This time I laugh and shrug my shoulders. "Well your reaction when I get them is the only thing that distracts me from the whole Carlos situation at the moment." My smile fades. "Hey, we'll find him." Kristian says, slowly removing himself to come and comfort me. I rush over to him and he places his hands out, "I got it, don't worry." I stay close to him anyways. The doctor may have given him the okay to walk on his on again but I still can't help but think that just one sudden move could put him back in same condition that he had been in for the past month. The doctor said something about his tendon ripping? Something like that. Anyways he has been trying to gain his strength in order to walk again. He walks slowly over to where I was, neither limping nor tripping he was just walking almost normally. "See no worries Monique, all good." He gives me two thumbs ups and I reach over and embrace him. "Glad you're okay, now come on we got to go meet Dylan and Leo." I grab Kristian his clothes and toss them to him. Then turn around so he could have a bit of privacy. "I guess I am driving then." He says. I turn around, giving him a questioning look. He must be out of his mind, he can barely walk.

As I drove, I was lost in thought. Thinking of Carlos, something I couldn't stop doing. I have dreamt about him every day; about the way his eyes lit up whenever he smiled or how he rubbed the back of his head whenever he was embarrassed or nervous. How compassionate he was, and determined he was to help everyone. He was like a hero in a story, although not all stories get a happy ending. Kristian turned up the radio so now the bass was pounding hard at the back, and interrupting my thoughts. "Is that necessary?" I ask, still keeping my focus on the road. "Yes! I love this song, and I am trying to get inspired here." He beamed. "And what is it you are trying to get inspired about?"

"Well I have been trapped in a hospital for a month and all that time when I wasn't trying to figure out how to get Carlos back, I was thinking about different dance steps you know."

"For...?" I ask, still not understanding.

"Monique, I am a dance major you know..."

I raise my eyebrows out of surprise. I thought he was majoring in something like techy and crap. Like I knew he could dance but I didn't know that he was that good and interested in it. "As soon as we get to your crib, I am so practicing right away, can't let these ideas go to waste." Kristian says, rubbing his hands quickly together out of excitement. "Um, don't you think that it is not such a good idea to jump right into dance when you just got out of the hospital?" I ask, concerned. "Monique how many times do I have to tell you, I feel fine." I give out an exasperated sight, "Alright, whatever you say." We sit in silence for the remainder of the ten minutes and just listened to all the songs that had come on the radio to drown out the awkwardness that surrounded us. Kristian is naïve for thinking that he could jump right back into dancing again and excuse me for actually giving a damn. Why is it that every time I try to get close to him he pushes me away? What happened between us in the past that was so bad that he can't even trust me as much as he trusts Dylan or how he trusted Elena and Carlos; what makes me so different? I wanted to ask him these questions so bad but at the same time I didn't want to know the answer to any of these questions. If the truth is bad then I don't want to know, if it is something I have to regret then I don't want to know because it isn't something I can take back or make up for especially since I cannot remember shit. Once again this memory loss is a burden to me, it weighs me down. If I were able to remember things, then Elena would probably still be alive, Carlos would be here and-

"Monique? Hey you okay?" I stare down at the keys that I now grasp in my hands, not realizing that we had arrived. Not remembering when I had parked the car. Shit, now that is scary. "Yeah, I'm okay." I lie, but don't turn my head to face Kristian so he could see it on my face. Instead I pull the door open and hop straight out.

"Monique!" Dylan embraces me in a ginormous hug, squeezing all life out of me. "Dylan...you're... crushing me." I mumble through the sound of my cracking back. Dylan releases me and gives me an apologetic smile. Then she moves on to Kristian and gives him a semi bear hug because she is afraid that she may break Kristian but also just naturally hugs very tight. "So..." Dylan says as she reaches in the cabinet and grabbing a glass so she could pour herself some whine. Whine and Champaign are the only two things that I have been able to drink lately and when it comes to food, maybe a piece of toast in the morning and that's it because after that I am either on the computer or at my board organizing the information that I have trying to find clues. Though I can shrug it off it off for now. "Right Monique?" I flinch up at the sound of my name and both Kristian and Dylan look at me as if I am insane. "Sorry what was that?" I ask embarrassed. "Monique are you sure that you are okay?" Kristian walks closer to me and I nod my head quickly. "Never better." I lie again. Dylan throws her hand up through her long brunette hair and sighs. "Did you take that nap like we discussed?" My head was just about to shake yes and lie like I have been doing with Kristian but when I think about it now I don't see the point in lying to her now and plus she is bound to figure it out sooner or later. So I shake my head no. My head felt like it was tilting over after that little head shake, so I place my heads out in front of me to catch my fall. "Monique, I am going to ask you one more time. Are you okay?" Kristian walks up closer to me so now his big brown eyes were looking into mine. They were slowly fading in my vision and I rubbed my eyes to see if that would help me see them better but it didn't. I open my mouth to say 'yes' to Kristian but then the room started to spin and finally the truth came out. "No I am not okay."

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