Genocide | Joshler

.:23:.

A/N: i see a lot of comments saying that Hannah reminds them of the girl on 13 reasons why and i would really appreciate it if you no longer left comments like that. The character Hannah was created before that show was a thing. Thanks. <3

Dallon dragged me into his caravan much to my dismay, after i tried to follow Maria to where she took Josh. He stood by the door, shoving me in and saying "what's mine is yours" with a sly grin. Dallon left after that without another word, locking the door behind him.

I sat on a small couch, hands shaking, my eyes locked to the door of the caravan. It was weird being alone, away from Josh. I felt suddenly vulnerable to the world, my side cold without josh next to me. It was like he was a whole other world away, with god knows who doing god knows what.

My head fell into my hands, making the bruise that was there throb in pain. But I didn't move my hand, no matter how much it hurt, I knew Josh was in so much more pain.

I was left alone for hours, it seemed, I hadn't moved from my spot on the couch. The sun had set before anyone had even come into the caravan. And as much as I was focused onto the door, I still jumped when it finally opened.

"Oh, Tyler!" I heard Dallon sing my name as he walked up the steps. I tried to calm my racing heart, but it didn't work at the sight of him, a wicked grin plastered onto his face. He kneeled down to my face and i could see the fire in his eyes.

"I have a surprise for you," he spoke. I mentally prepared myself for the worst as he shouted for Maria. Was he going to kill me? Was he going to cut me open and let me bleed out? Oh god, what if Maria is bringing him a biter and he's going to watch it eat me alive? What if-

"J-Josh?" I watched with wide eyes as Maria struggled to help Josh get up the stairs of the caravan. One leg of his pants was rolled up, exposing gauze that wrapped around his leg. I rushed past Dallon to Josh and Maria, helping him the rest of the way in. I held onto him tightly clamping my eyes shut, resting my head onto his shoulder. He hugged back just as tightly, beginning to sob into my shoulder.

"Y-you're okay." I breathe out, shakily. "I was so worried," I whispered. Josh nodded his head in understanding but then winced.

"Leg. Hurts," he choked out. I nodded, helping him get over to the couch as carefully and as quickly as I could. I sat next to him and he rested his head onto my shoulder and I embraced him. Physically, he seemed okay, his skin hadn't paled from loss of blood, and he wasn't burning with a fever as if he was going to turn into a biter. Mentally, however, I knew he was a wreck. His eyes were spaced out and his body racked with sobs against mine. He killed a man, because of me.

"You're okay," I repeated, letting my lips linger on the top of his head in a kiss.

I jumped as i heard the door of the caravan slam shut, leaving us alone. I sighed out, burying my face into his hair. I laid another kiss to the top of his head, but he pulled away from my touch, turning his head away from me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked softly, feeling my eyes burn at the thought that Josh might be mad at me. But he shook his head, continuing to look away.

"I don't deserve your affection," Josh says, his throat was raw, as if he had been yelling at the top of his lungs.

"What? Josh, thats-" i sighed, grabbed his hand, holding it delicately between mine. "Don't say that," I get out. He tries to move his hand from mine but i tighten my grip, pulling his hand towards my chest.

"Tyler, please, let go of me." He begs

"No. Not until you look at me," I say, sternly. He sighed, his shoulders hunched forward. He turned his head and looked me dead in the eye, emotionless. His eyes were bloodshot red, his nose was red and running, and his lips were chapped, his jaw about the only thing that looked relaxed. I let him slide his hand from between mine and he turned away, resting his head on his fist. Tears tracked down my face and i was unsure of what to say.

"Don't you dare cry over me," he spoke up. "I'm not worth it," he mumbled.

"Bullshit." I grit my teeth. "That is bullshit Josh and you know it." I stood up walking over to his side. "Look at me," I growl. And he does, his gaze meeting mine.

"I worried about you the whole time we were separated. The whole fucking time i sat on this couch and watched the door, waiting for something, so i could be with you again. Do you think if you weren't worth it, I'd still do the same thing?" He doesn't respond, but his gaze drops to the floor. I felt weak, and I sat down on the floor, my back against the side of the couch.

"Maybe you think I care too much but that's what love is, Josh. I fucking love you," i choke out.

"Don't," he replies.

"What?"

"Don't love me, d-don't say that." I furrowed my brows.

"Why?"

"Because I'm a fucking murderer, Tyler!" He yelled. "Why aren't you scared of me? Why aren't you scared that I'm going to hurt you? I don't deserve your tears or your love or your affection, Tyler," he was on the verge of tears, his voice wavering. I bit my lip to hold myself together. My heart broke at his words.

"I know you aren't going to hurt me, Joshua. I feel safe around you. And no matter what you say, I'm going to keep loving you, even if you think you don't deserve it. I'm telling you right now you fucking deserve it." He went quiet after that, instead letting a new sob rack through his body. I closed my eyes at his pain and slowly reached my hand up towards the couch, leaving it open for him to take. And when I felt his cool fingers grasp mine, I let out a breath of relief.

No more words were exchanged for awhile, but our hands never leave one another. After Josh's sobs had quieted down, he spoke up again:

"I don't know how im going to live with myself."