Genocide | Joshler

.:24:.

A/N: i see a lot of comments saying that Hannah reminds them of the girl on 13 reasons why and i would really appreciate it if you no longer left comments like that. The character Hannah was created before that show was a thing. Thanks. <3

The torture seemed like it would never end. My legs and back ached from the position i was in, hovering over the shallow hole. Josh hadn't eaten in two days and He hadn't drunk much water. The glowing sun pressed into my skin making me groan. The heat was unbearable.

I stopped and dropped the shovel to rip off my shirt. There was a fine definition between where my shirt once was on my skin and the skin that was exposed. I couldn't tell if it was because I was getting tan or if I was just covered in dirt. Either way, I couldn't care less how I looked. I couldn't remember the last time I actually bathed and I could feel that my cheeks were very sun burnt.

No one had buried the body. In fact, Otis laid in the same place he was killed, barely untouched, except with a bullet lodge in his head from Dallon when he reawakened as a biter. Dallon laughed at the poor man and Josh had stared out of the caravans window, expressing something different from the numbness that has graced his face for the past few days.

And since no one had buried the body, I took the duty into my own hands. Before anyone was awake, I dragged the man who was nearly three times my size to the lake.

Near the lake i was exposed to the sun, it was hotter, and it wasn't even mid-day yet. The humidity made it hard to breathe and there were no trees, no shade, to keep my skin from turning pink.

When i started to dig, I didn't take a brake until I went to pull off my shirt. The sun was high in the sky by that point and mostly everyone was awake. Josh never came out of the caravan, but that wasn't a surprise.

My head throbbed and I felt as if i was going to throw up when I looked down to the sad hole I dug. It was barely a foot deep, and that hardly fit any of the man in there. I stared at the body that started to give off a pleasantly dead aroma. I spit on the man.

"Fuck you," I paused for a second and crouched down to the body, poking his bulging gut. "Fuck you for ruining him. If i could, I would bring you back to life just so I could kill you myself."

It was closer to evening than morning when I finished digging a hole for the husky man. Earlier in the day, Maria had quietly brought over a bit of food for me. As I ate, she crouched down to Otis, spoke a few words in Spanish, and then walked off crying. It took awhile to dig a hole manageable for the man, being I had to take so many brakes as to not over heat, but once he was in the ground and covered, I went straight back to the caravan and crashed on the couch beside Josh.

He sat hunched over himself, head in his hand, and a gun held loosely in the other. He was completely still, breath held and shoulders tense. He was like a beautifully crafted sculpture, his features were still healing from the fight, but they were as sharp as ever; Made out of cold stone just to emphasize the discomfort. He looked colder than the gun that fell from his hand onto the carpeted floor.

"Hey," I spoke quietly. Silence. His eyes were open, towards the gun. His cheeks wet but his eyes dry. I cleared my throat.

"I buried him." Josh let out the breath he had been holding and leaned back on the couch, looking over to me with dull eyes.

"Where?" He asked, voice so low it didn't even sound like a question, but his eyes softened a bit.

"Down near the lake. Its beautiful, do you wanna go see?" I asked softly. I stood from the couch and offered my hand to him. I looked out the window to see the sun start to set. "I bet we can see the sunset," I add. Josh looked from my hand down to his bandaged leg.

"I can't walk," he states. I kept my hand out to him.

"I'm here, I'll support you." It takes a moment, but eventually he reaching for my hand with his own. His grip on it was tight as he used the couch to push himself up. I brought his arm around my shoulders and wrapped an arm around his waist for support.

No one bothered us as we walked out of the caravan towards the lake, a few people stared, but they quickly went back to what they were doing. I couldn't help but smile to myself, having Josh by my side, alive. I knew whatever excuse Josh used to stop himself from using the gun made him feel weak. I can say easily he's the strongest man I've ever met.

I laced my fingers with his that draped over my shoulder once we reached the lake. By this point, his whole body was leaning on to mine for support, his head rested on my shoulder and he was trying to catch his breath.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"Where is he?" He asked, and instead if answering, i brought him to the cross made of wood (that Hannah had put together earlier) that stood from the dirt. He collapsed to the ground and I came down with him. Anger rested in his features as he stared at the grave.

"I don't regret it," he whispered. "I never regretted it. How messed up is that?"

"Josh..."

"When he pressed his gun to your head I wanted him dead." He ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the brown curls. "How is that even normal?" He asked.

"It was either him or us, Josh. You aren't the only one having these thoughts. In the past, yeah they would've been corrupt, but if you want to survive now you have to think like that." I held his hand between my own. "Remember he wanted to kill us too," i stated quietly. I brought his hand up and left a quick kiss on the top of it. He had the faintest hint of a smile.

"I love you, and i mean that in the purest way possible." His smile faded away and his eyes became coated in a weight of pain and confusion, his hazel hue fading.

"Tyler," Josh shook slightly, looking away from  me. I wanted to grab his face and bring his eyes to mine shouting 'don't cut me out! Don't leave me!' But I couldn't. My nose started to burn and my throat started to burn, the force to keep down crying caused it to sear. I waited for it to started bleeding from the force, subconsciously begging it wouldn't. "Why?" He stressed. I shrugged.

"I just like you. Spending time with you and fighting with you. It's made my life worth living in this shitty world," I started. "I'd do anything for you," god knows how much you have done for me. This gauged his attention, and his sad eyes met mine.

"Anything?" I nod. He griped my hand tightly. It hurt but it felt secure. Just like when he held my bare body to his clothed one, 'don't let go,' i would've said through sobs; 'i won't,' he would counter. Brendon laid unconscious on the floor.

"Promise me," he began. "Promise me you will kill me if i," he paused. "If I ever get out of control." It wasn't warm. It was cold and demanding.

"If anything, i should be saying that to you," I laughed lightly only to stop when josh shot me and intense glare. I cleared my throat

"You aren't going to get like that. But, if im promising, then we will make it both ways. Keep each other in check." He shook his head.

"I can't kill you," he said quickly.

"Well, now you know how I feel."