A/N Sorry this update took a while!!! I was working on one that took way longer than expected! anyways, TRIGGER WARNING!!!! this one focuses heavily on suicide. I saw a thing on Tumblr and was inspired. This also contains S4 spoilers so if you haven't seen the new episodes then I suggest you skip this one. Thank you all for all of the reads and votes!! love you all <3 Enjoy
SHERLOCK'S P.O.V.
I was terrified, John wasn't answering his phone. We had that wonderful moment yesterday and everything seemed like it was going to be alright. Now he was almost an hour late for his turn to watch me and he wasn't answering his phone. He wasn't doing well, I had seen the signs, but I didn't want to believe them. I could see the same pain in his eyes that was there when I first met him. I couldn't let him do anything stupid, I couldn't lose him. It was Mycroft's turn to watch me, and I had enlisted his help to try and find John. As far as he could tell, John was at his house, but there was no movement.
"Mycroft-"
"There is a car downstairs and I have paramedics on standby."
"Thank you Mycroft."
"Now go save John." I raced out the door and jumped into the car that was waiting. I told the driver where to go and we sped off. I prayed we would make it in time. I tried calling him again, tears filling my eyes as the line kept ringing.
"John please, please pick up. I am on my way. Please be ok." My voice was cracking and emotion was spilling over. I covered my face and pushed back the tears, John needs me to be strong right now.
The car pulled up in front of John's flat and I jumped out, running to the door. I pounded as hard as I could, shouting his name. I was giving him another chance to prove me wrong. He didn't answer. I pulled my kit out of my pocket and fumbled with the small tools. It was difficult to do when my hands were shaking. I finally got the door unlocked and stepped into the flat. I always hated this place; it was too much of Mary and not enough John. I could still smell her cologne in the air, but this time it was tinged with something else. I called for John, slowly walking through the house. Mycroft said he was here. I stood before the closed door of the bathroom. It was the only room in the house with a closed door and the light on. I knocked, and upon hearing no response I grabbed the handle. It was locked. I rammed my shoulder against the cold wood, sending it flying open. I stumbled into the room and my heart stopped when I saw him. He was sitting in the shower, propped up against the door, sitting still under the stream that flowed from the showerhead. I thought at first that he was just sitting there, crying to himself, but he didn't react when I said his name. I stepped to the glass box that held the man I loved, still praying I was wrong. I opened the door and caught him as he fell limply into my arms.
"John, no, please, no." I whispered as I cradled him in my arms. I patted his face and screamed his name. I smelled alcohol on his breath. He was breathing. He was alive. I pulled my phone out and called my brother, tears threatening to fall.
"I am sending the medics in as we speak brother. What has he done?" I scanned the limp body in my arms, trying to see what happened. My mind took a few seconds to process what I was seeing. There were two deep slashes running up his wrists.
"His wrists- the blood- oh god John-" I could hear Mycroft's voice telling me that the medics would be here in moments, that everything would be ok, but my mind had gone numb. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists and tried to stop the bleeding. I whispered pleas and pressed soft kisses against his wet skin, trying desperately to revive the man in my arms. I heard voices in the hall and called for them. Soon the small room was filled with people trying to pull me away from John. I fought at first, but then I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and heard Mycroft's voice and I allowed myself to be drug out of the room. Mycroft lead me outside and attempted to reason with me, but I couldn't hear anything.
