luce . rants

Guilty

I feel so guilty right now. For the past 3 weeks I've been neglecting by commitment to going 2 days a week to my karate class and sometimes there's a valid reason but sometimes I skip cuz I'm just don't want to and then I hate myself for it. I know it's naiive and all but I'm worried people will surpass me in belt rank and I'll start failing and having to learn everything like 5 times and I know I sound selfish and I shouldn't be thinking this way but I do. I do. And I'm sorry.