21 Questions {Awsten Knight}

E I G H T

There was a knock on the driver's window, causing me to jump in place. I half expected it to be Hope coming to finish what she started, but then remembered that Awsten had said he would come get me.

I wiped my eyes before coming face to face with someone I really wished I could hate but just couldn't. I slowly rolled down the window, cringing at the squeaking noise it made. I looked up into his unique eyes, my own filled with tears.

"Tell me what happened and I'll drive," Awsten said gently, opening the door and pulling me gently out of the car and into his arms. I cried harder, remembering what I had done to him.

"O-okay," I choked out, slowly walking to the other side of the car.

I sat down gently in the passenger side, buckling myself gently. I wondered what Awsten had done with his car, but had no energy to ask about it. I closed my eyes as he pulled out of the parking spot, cruising down the road. We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the tears streaks on my cheeks finally drying up as I stared out the window.

"So, what happened?" Awsten questioned, but I only answered with a whimper and a shake of my head.

"Okay, tell me later though?" And I nodded.

We drove in silence again, and I drifted into a light sleep, waking up to Awsten tapping my shoulder gently. I groaned and brought my legs to my chest.

"Okay, okay," Awsten replied, gently moving my legs down and unbuckling me. He picked me up into his arms and carried me into his house. He gently sat me down on his couch and I rubbed my eyes, trying to avoid his gaze.

I made slight grabby hands at him, too tired to have functioned properly, and to my surprise he held me to his chest and I fell asleep to his almost silent humming, the comforting lull of the harmony calming me down from the earlier events in the day.

When I woke up, Awsten was gone and I was curled up on his blue couch, my knees tucked to my stomach and my head resting on a pillow that I guessed he had placed beneath me.

Then I made the connection.

Hope knew.

Awsten told Hope.

That BITCH.

I sat up and buried my face in a pillow, starting to cry. Fuck. Why didn't I realize before? Why didn't I make the connection that that asshole went straight to Hope and told her EVERYTHING? What was wrong with me? Why did I keep connecting with people who I couldn't trust? I looked around the room and wondered where he went, just until I heard the sound of keys jangling and then the front door unlocking. I quickly panicked and thought of leaving, but then realized that I couldn't go home because my house wasn't home anymore. Not with Hope there. I decided to just scream into the pillow till I passed out. Good idea. Wait, but I couldn't. Awsten was there and I had no other ideas.

"Hey, I got some ice cream and--"

"You told her? You told Hope everything I said?" I questioned, ignoring his statement and getting straight to the problem. "Huh?" He wondered, playing dumb. I seethed in my seat, already angered by his reaction. Did he really think I wouldn't find out? "After you came to my house. You told Hope everything I said about you. And then she kicked me out and called me a whore. All because of you!" I yelled, curling my hands into fists.

"Hey, hey calm down, it's okay," he said gently.

"No! It's not okay!" I screamed, standing up. "You ruined my relationship with my best friend! If I had never met you in the fucking first place then I wouldn't be standing here and crying in your stupid arms like a dumb child! What's wrong with you?!" I yelled, throwing the pillow down on his floor.

I hadn't meant to explode, but could you really blame me? None of this would have happened if I didn't run into Awsten that day in Walmart. Things would have still been fine. I wouldn't have had to worry about what he thought about me or what he was doing with Hope when I wasn't around.

"Listen. Charlotte. I didn't know Hope would react that way. I didn't mean--"

"What? What, Awsten? You didn't mean to do what? Ruin my life? Regardless, you did and you've fucked up everything I ever cared about. How could you do that to me?" I cried, a new wave of tears flowing down my tired cheeks. I felt like my bones were collapsing in on my body, finally giving up on themselves.

"No, you don't understand. I told her those things because I realized how I hurt you and I wanted her to know what she did wrong. I never meant for things to go this far. I thought if I told her what happened, she would apologize and everything would be fine," he explained, his eyebrows furrowed as he set down the plastic bag he had been carrying, taking a few steps closer to me.

I just shook my head, looking away. Whether or not that was the truth, my life was a mess. I couldn't go home and my best friend was gone and she hated me. Part of me hated her too. 

I felt his hand on my jaw and I flinched, my arms crossed against my chest, my breathing becoming faster by the second. "Don't" I whispered, stepping back. 

"Charlotte, please. Look at me," he begged. I hated it when I hurt his feelings. I hated hurting the feelings of someone I cared so deeply about. And I wished I didn't. I wished I could just run away and never look back.

"How could you do this to me?" I whispered, my voice breaking off at the end of the question, finally looking into his eyes that had made me smile so many times in the past. But now they were filled with sadness and the amount of guilt I felt was too much to handle.

"I never meant to. I never meant to hurt you," he told me, his hand caressing the side of my face, wiping away the tear streaks on my cheeks. I just closed my eyes, clenching my jaw. I could have just run away. Shoved him away and gotten the hell out of there. But if felt like my feet were glued to the floor and I couldn't move. 

I opened my eyes again and his face was inching closer to mine, his lips connecting with mine before I could turn away. 

When he pulled away, I stared at him in disbelief, slightly angered at his move. "Wh-"

He cut me off and kissed me again gently, his fingers tracing the edge of my jawline as I froze in place. 

Despite being confused, I was also happy because I knew that the person I cared for so much also cared about me too. 

"I want you all to myself this time," he told me, his eyes filled with compassion instead of guilt.

Instead of feeling awful, I was smiling for once.