21 Questions {Awsten Knight}

S E V E N T E E N

{UNEDITED}

"So, he's going on tour and he didn't tell you?" Lucy asked, trying to confirm what I had told her. I shrugged, bringing my arms to my chest as I lied down on my bed that still smelled faintly like him from the last time he had been over. I let out a long sigh and glanced up at my best friend. She had a somber expression on her face, and I let her rub my back as a few more tears fell down my cheeks.

"I just don't get it. I thought...I thought I mattered to him. You'd think that if he wanted me around, he would have told me before getting put into a magazine and having me find out that way, you know?" I sniffed, wiping my eyes.

"I know. But you can't punish yourself for other people's mistakes. It's his loss for losing you and fucking up. You didn't do anything wrong. I thought he was cool too, but I guess everyone has something to hide. It's easier said than done, but try not to punish yourself over this. You deserve to be happy," she told me, sitting down next to me, leaning back on my legs. "We need to cheer you up. I would offer watching PVRIS music videos and live performances but I have the feeling you don't want that right now," she stated, furrowing her perfect eyebrows.

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "He even knew that PVRIS is my favorite band. God, he's suck a dick. Now I can't even see them live because he's going to be there," I sighed. Why did he have to ruin all the shit in my life and make it even worse? I should have never gone to get those paper towels that one evening. Stupid stupid stupid Charlotte.

"Yeah, that's a tough one. Want me to kick his ass for you?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, it's okay. I just...You know how I used to play guitar and stuff? And write music? All that?" I asked her, sitting up and sniffing, grabbing a tissue from my nightstand, cleaning myself up a bit. "Yeah, why?" my friend wondered, moving herself so she was now leaning against the wall that my bed was pushed up against.

"I was thinking of doing that again. Like, I want to start writing again. I want to do something cool with my life and this whole thing has given me inspiration. I only ever stopped because of what happened with my last boyfriend. But this whole situation has given me so many ideas. I want to try it again and actually go through with it. I mean, I even wrote a couple of lines in the car after it all happened."

Lucy stared at me for a moment before grinning, clapping her hands together. "I was wondering when musical Charlotte would make a comeback! Yes! I'm so pumped, this is gonna be awesome! Can I be like your bad ass manager?" she exclaimed, standing up so she was standing in the middle of our bedroom. I laughed again and nodded. "What are the lines you wrote? Have you come up with a melody yet?"

I shook my head. "No melody, but I'll read you the lines," I told her, grabbing my song journal from beneath my pillow, flipping through several pages before landing on the one I was looking for.

"I'm turning off the light right now
I'm calling it a night
Now wishing you were 'round with me
But you in a different town than me"

"That's so cool! Do you still have your old equipment and stuff?" she wondered, sitting down at her desk. I nodded my head yes and she smiled.

Awsten's P.O.V.

It was probably a dumb idea but I wanted to see Charlotte. I knew I hurt her feelings but I had no idea why she would be mad about me not telling her about the tour. I mean obviously I was planning to! Y'all read that shit so I mean it's not my fault.

Not to be a sappy bitch but I was holding off on telling her because I was worried she wouldn't wanna come with me. What, you thought I didn't want her to come along for the whole trip?! Boy you must be insane because of course I always wanted her around. She was like a freaking goddess. And of course I missed Max because he was like my son.

So I knew Charlotte wouldn't want to let me inside so I had to figure out an alternate top secret plan. After intense contemplation, I came up with nothing so I just decided to try the door. It was unlocked and I opened it slowly, peering around the corner to see if anyone was around. It was quiet, so I stepped inside, CLOSING it softly behind me because at least I remembered Charlotte had a dog. Didn't work. My relationship with that dog is too strong I gotta break it off. All I heard was a series of "BORK BORK BORKS" before yelling emitted from the staircase and I looked frantically around the room trying to hide or at least find something to explain myself. But it was too late and I watched in horror as Lucy (charlotte's emo best friend) bounded down the hall, asking Max what was wrong. Her eyes landed on me and she immediately let down her guard, glaring at me. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

I sighed, running a sweaty hand through my hair. "I messed things up with Charlotte and I need to fix them. I promise I didn't mean to hurt her. I was actually on the way to tell her about the tour and invite her to come along because I like her more than orange juice or my stupid band and basically everything else," I admitted, looking down at Max who had decided to lie down directly on top of my feet.

"Well not now, you've hurt her too many times since y'all have met and I want it to stop. Give her time. Sorry." 

"Oh..I..um yeah..bye then," I sighed, kneeling down to pet Max for probably the last time before turning to leave, shutting the door behind me. I took a few steps toward my car before stopping in my tracks, furrowing my eyebrows. I looked up at Charlotte's window and could see her shadow through the smudged glass.

 Think I could make it up there without falling to my death?