* WARNING CUTTING AND DEPRESSION*
JJ's POV
I sat at my desk in my room. Josh left not that long ago to go do some editing. Yes, me and Josh are dating. Have been for seven months now. It's been amazing dating Josh. He is so caring and supportive of everything. Not to mention he's sexy as fuck!!
I decided to look at the comments on my most recent video. It surprised me the amount of hate there was on this video, most of the comments being mean and hateful.
"Why do you even do this anymore?"
"He's not even funny."
"He is making my ears bleed."
"Drink bleach, its better for everyone that way."
"Go to hell you faggot."
"It would be funny if he killed himself already."
"Why not do everyone a favor and kill yourself?"
Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I have never cried in front of anyone before. The las time I even cried at all was years ago for the same reason right now. Maybe they are right. No one likes me anymore. I'm just useless, aren't I? A waste of space. No one really knows how self conscious I really am. No one knows my old tendencies.
I stood from my desk and walked to my bathroom. I closed the door and opened a cabinet and found the box I was looking for. I opened it and took out one of the small pieces of sharp metal. I placed it on my skin and slid it across. I forgot how good this felt. The burning was so good. A line of red appeared and I did it again and again.
I switched to the other arm and did it again and again. I placed the blade in the sink when I ran out of space on my arms. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Josh's number.
"Hello? JJ why are you calling me? I'm literally upstairs," Josh's sweet voice said.
"I'm sorry Josh. I'm sorry that I'm stupid, I'm sorry I'm loud, I'm sorry I'm not funny, I'm sorry I wasted your time, I'm sorry I wasted your money, I'm sorry I wasted your love that you could have given to someone else, and I'm sorry that I gave in,"I said and hung up the phone before going into twitter and posting:
You win. You get what you wanted. Goodbye.
I then turned my phone off and threw it to the ground and watched all of the little shards fall all over the floor. There was a pool of blood around me and I smiled a little. I looked at my arms and watched the blood drip to the ground. I clenched my fists and watched as the blood dropped faster. I heard footsteps and shouting and opened my eyes to see the world slowly spinning around me. The door flew open and Josh stood there with tears falling from his face.
Josh's POV
I stood there and watched as he fell to the side into a puddle of his own blood. I rushed over to him and laid his head in my lap.
"CALL AN AMBULANCE!!" I screamed and Simon walked in with a phone to his ear. He went pale and continued to talk with the other person.
I grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around his arm and did the same with the other to try and stop the bleeding. His eyes were still open, but only half way.
"Jide, stay with me. Don't do this to me. I need you, please don't leave," I sobbed and stroked his face with my shaking hands. He half smiled before letting his eyes close completely. Just then the medics ran in.
"He's losing blood rapidly, we don't have much time! We have to operated here," one of the medics shouted and they pushed me away from my baby. I sat there and watched as they stuck IV's into him and other fluids. They started to put stitches in all of his cuts. My body felt numb as I sat there and shook.
