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黄水仙 autumn
JJungkook isn't good at following his heart. He properly learnt this when, the day after he overheard that fateful conversation, he tried to put his mother's advice into action. It doesn't work -- although that might be because he didn't even know what his heart wanted. All he knew was that he didn't want to -- couldn't -- be around Taehyung. Whenever he was around the older male, he just felt uncomfortable, like every interaction he made was strained. It seemed that, overnight (or possibly even in the few seconds it took for Taehyung to confess to Seokjin), their relationship had changed completely. This was a sad revelation Jungkook had come to on the third day of avoidance, while he walked to work with butterflies raging in his stomach and a headache from the amount of thinking he'd dedicated to this predicament.
Although, one thing he'd learnt through this experience was that the flower shop did have lunch breaks. Seokjin let him leave the shop whenever he got hungry, because he couldn't hang around and eat with the older two anymore -- not without feeling uncomfortable. Now he just walked down to the butcher's, where Yoongi would be waiting with some freshly cooked skewers. Apparently friends got a discount (one free skewers) and Jungkook, who was somehow an even closer friend, got a bigger one (as many free skewers as Yoongi could spare without losing too much profit).
"I tried a new sauce." Yoongi said when the younger trudged up to the back step of the shop. He handed Jungkook his ones, as he sat down beside him. The brunette instantly slumped over -- he seemed to be in a constant slump, both figuratively and literally. He then took a bite of the skewer, before offering up a small smile to the older.
"This is good." He said, taking another bite. "You should quit the butcher business and open up a lamb skewer shop. You could go to markets and things."
"You think so?" Jungkook nodded. "I don't know. I mean, this shop is dying -- since the big mall opened recently, more people have been going there for their meat. Maybe I should just quit..."
"You could call it, Min's Skewers."
"Doesn't have the same ring as Min's Meat though, does it."
"No..." They fell silent, eating their skewers instead. Occasionally (or more than occasionally, really, he just didn't want to admit it) Yoongi would glance at the younger and just take in his sad appearance. Even when he wasn't thinking about Taehyung (because Jungkook really wasn't now -- that was the power of Yoongi's skewers) he looked sad. It was like if you took the effeminate florist out of the equation, you also took most of the boy's happiness out.
"So how's the situation going?" Yoongi asked, because they'd discussed this previously. Jungkook had poured his heart out to the older male already, who listened patiently and offered up pretty much the same advice as Mrs Jeon: "if you want to, just ignore what your family thinks. It's what you want that matters."
"Not good." Another slow exhalation of air escaped past the brunette's lips. "I think it might even be worse."
"How so?" The butcher shuffled around so he was facing the younger, his knee knocking the other's.
"Well, have you ever got that feeling where you've just wanted to cry and cry but you can't? Like, there's no reason either -- just this constant desire to cry." Jungkook angrily played with his skewer stick, pulling at the now-fraying ends of the wood. "That's been added to the feelings. And every time I see Taehyung, he just looks so sad. He tried to be nice earlier but I just couldn't. Same with Seokjin-- I'm just letting them down again. I'm letting everyone down."
"How-- how are you letting everyone down?" Yoongi looked bewildered. "You haven't done anything to let anyone down, Kook. Don't say those things."
"But I have. I've let Taehyung down because I can't reciprocate his feelings; I've let my family down because there's the slightest chance I might be gay; and I've let myself down because I don't know what I want to do but I know what I'm going to do." The stick fell from Jungkook's shaky grip, clattering down the steps. He didn't make any move to pick it up, just stared at it before turning his head to the older male. He looked close to crying. "What do I do?"
"First, you come here. Come on," Yoongi opened his arms and pulled the boy into a hug. Jungkook, while normally not a hugger, clung to the butcher with his face buried in the white folds of his shirt. "Now, you listen to me, really listen. Jungkook, you haven't let anyone down. If your family can't accept the possibility that you like a boy, they're not a family worth keeping. And you can't always reciprocate feelings, that's just how these things work -- if you really can't return Taehyung's feelings, then he'll just have to accept that. But as for yourself, no one can tell you what to do. You just have to figure that out yourself."
"But I can't."
"You keep telling yourself that and you won't." Yoongi sighed as he pulled away from the boy, leaving his hand on his shoulder as he looked at him. "Whatever you figure out, just remember that there's nothing wrong with liking someone of the same sex and that I'll support whatever decision you make."
"I don't think I can make this decision -- it's too big."
"We all have to make big decisions eventually, and you have to." Yoongi sighed as he got up and picked up the dropped skewer stick. He then sat back down and ruffled the younger's hair, pulling him closer again. "You'll figure it out, kid, and my door's always opened to you."
Deciding it's probably not best if he went back to work in the state he was in (that might cause the older florists to ask questions Jungkook didn't want to answer just yet), Yoongi made the boy stay around for a little longer. They just sat there, quietly, as Yoongi kept his arm wrapped around the younger and close to him. And then, when he finally looked a little calmer, he let Jungkook return to the flower shop and Taehyung.
