A Very Special Romance (BOOK 3 COMPLETE)

Chapter 33

Chaniel's POV

Two days after, enjoy na enjoy pa namin yung day, ligo-ligo here, kiliti-kiliti here. I was riding on the back of my husband while were busy enjoying the coldness of the sea in this very warm and cold night. Nakalubog kami sa tubig...hayst. Hindi lamig ng dagat ang nararamdaman ko, ang init ng katawan ni Eros.

I was just feeling the moment right now. Cause I have decided, iiwanan ko si Eros. Oo, masakit sabihin at e-share sa lahat ng madlang pipol ang ganitong karumaldumal na desisyon. Mahirap kasi...if I will continue loving him, be with him, masasaktan at masasaktan ko lang siya.

Cause I was feeling that I was not the girl he deserves. Sa ginawa ko namang pag-abort sa anak niya, di ba? Siguradong hindi niya matatanggap yun, cause he really believes in God. He really do believe do Him.

Cause I was feeling that I was killed by my conscience everyday.

Siguro nga, ang sama-sama kong tao dahil naisipan ko pang pakasalan siya despite of the fact that I got into an abortion. ARGHH...ang sama-sama kong tao talaga. HE DID NOT REALLY DESERVES ME. My tears were descending into his shoulders. Ang sama-sama ko. Ang sama-sama ko.

Kinakabahan ako, nakokonsensiya ako, nasasaktan ako.

Maybe, I was too selfish because I married him. Selfish ako kasi iniisip ko lang ang kaligayahan ko, ang makasama siya. I grabbed the opportunity cause I really want to be with him. Being with him was really important to me. He was my life's charger, he gave me strength everyday.

But I was not loyal to him.

I LIED THOUSANDS TIME TO HIM.

Kapag nalaman niyang pinatay ko anak niya, kakamuhian niya ako.

I don't need to confess the truth to him, cause HE WILL GET HURT, at ayaw ko siyang saktan. Maybe, masasaktan ko siya kapag iiwanan ko, at that sense, mahahanap niya ang babaeng para sa kanya.

Dahil hindi ako yun. Walang forever. Si Jessica lang ang mayroon nun. Umasa lang akong magiging masaya kami hanggang wakas, cause I believed that past will not chase my conscience, but it came back.

I just...destroyed Eros' dream. The dream to have a child...born by me, Winasak ko na yun.

HINDI NIYA AKO DESERVE...ako talaga ang hindi para sa kanya. I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry. Yumakap ako sa leeg niya, at madiin siyang niraramdam. I don't want to lose him. I was pleadingly sobbed the pain in my heart. Anak, kung nasaan ka man ngayon, alam ko...na alam mo, na...hindi ako ang nararapat sa Papa mo. ANG SAKIT NA TALAGA...iniisip ko na ang walang-forever na peg namin ngayon.

"Babe? Nilalamig ka na ba? Do you want to stop na?"

Umiling-iling ako.

"I want to be with you right at this very moment, Eros. I really want to," seize the moment. Dahil bukas makalawa, expiration date na ng love natin. May ganun ba? I bet, walang expiration date sa love kapag pinipilit mo lang, Chaniel.

Pero, masasaktan ako, masasaktan ko siya dahil sa abortion thing. AYAW KO NA. Nagsisinungaling na ako nito.

"Yeah, parang iba ang aura mo ngayon? Do you really miss your family, huh?" I gave him a little smile then nodded. "Or, iniisip mo na naman ang arrange marriage?"

"Half," I lied.

"Are you afraid to go home?" tumango ako.

"Hindi ganun kadali takasan ang arrange marriage na 'to, babe. Nakailag si Jessica sa marriage na 'to kasi Tito Chris has another one for his son. Yung bestfriend ni Jessica. May nilaan na si Tito na iba para kay Rafael...so, ako ang kasunod ni Jessica, kaya ako ang next na mag-take ng responsibility."