XVII

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Isabella

I yawned and moved my body to stretch, but was constrained from doing so by two arms wrapped around me. I quickly opened my eyes and looked up at Beyoncé's sleeping face. I smiled. I recalled what happened last night and remembered being in their room, but now Beyoncé's with me in mine. I guess I must've fallen asleep.

Beyoncé must've felt me moving around because she woke up a few seconds later. I can't help it, it's really hard for me to be still for long periods of time. "Good morning, baby," Beyoncé smiled down at me.

I smiled back before snuggling closer to her. She's so warm and she literally always smells good. Even though she just woke up. "Good morning." I mumbled against Beyoncé's chest.

I felt her run her fingers through my hair and sighed happily. I think she's learning that it's one of my favorite things. "How did you sleep? No more nightmares?"

I shook my head. "No more nightmares. I slept great, actually. You know, despite everything." I felt my face heat up. Last night was a little embarrassing, I've never lost control over myself like that. It was so unlike me.

"I'm glad." Beyoncé pulled away from me slightly and I pouted. She chuckled. I stared back into her pretty eyes as she rested her palm against my face and stroked my cheek with her thumb. "Do you want to talk about it?" Bey asked softly. I quickly broke our eye contact and shook my head.

Beyoncé sighed. "Okay, I'm not going to force you. Just know if you ever need me, to talk or just to hold you, I'm here baby. The same goes for Jay. We'll always be here if you need us."

"Okay." I nodded. "Thanks."

Beyoncé nodded too. "I love you." She said firmly, looking me directly in the eye. I don't know why, but I felt myself tearing up over this. She's told me this before, but right now, I don't have the slightest doubt that she means it.

I sniffled and nuzzled my face into Beyoncé's hand, which was still on my face. "I'm sorry, Beyoncé. For everything. I've been so awful and then the situation with Gina, I don't know why I wanted to find her so bad. I just need closure, and I probably won't ever get it."

Beyoncé listened intently as I spoke. She tenderly wiped away whatever tears fell from my eyes and held our eye contact the entire time. I apologized for everything, and I meant every word. I'm pretty sure she knew that too, just by the way she was looking at me with so much.... love. My heart felt so full.

I cried to Beyoncé for the second time in 24 hours and it surprisingly felt really good. I've never been this vulnerable in my life, but she's someone I can be this way around. Beyoncé is so understanding and gentle and patient– Gina wasn't even like this with me. I rarely cried around her because she associated crying with weakness. Now it seems like all I do is cry.

"Are you hungry?" Beyoncé asked after I had gotten the remainder of my tears out. I nodded against her shoulder. "Well you're in luck, because I think I smell something cooking. Jay's probably making something downstairs."

I perked up immediately. Beyoncé laughed as I basically flew out of bed and grabbed a sweatshirt to throw on, since I was a little chilly. "Come on!" I exclaimed, grabbing Beyoncé's hand and pulling her out of bed. She chuckled and followed me out of my room.

*****

Beyoncé

2:30pm

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