Savior

(15) Home

"Please, don't make me go back there." I choked out, gripping onto Negan's coat. If I didn't feel like I would fall over, I wouldn't have even thought about touching him.
"Alice, if you can give me one good reason why you stole a walkie talkie, I'll let you stay until we come for our supplies." Was he being serious? Or was this a sick, twisted mind game?
"I-I- it was when I went on the first supply run. He said he was going to find my group, I just wanted to find them." A sob escaped my throat as I turned to look at my old group. This is the worst I've ever seen them. They were destroyed and I felt like it was because of me.
"Alice, sweet–" He ran his hand down my damp, pale face. "Sweet Alice, I will allow you to be with your people to mourn, but after, my men will pick you up from their home, do you understand?"
"Yes–yes. Thank you." He nodded, showing the side of him that I truly loved with every ounce of my being.
"I'll see you soon." We departed, the warmth of his body leaving me, sending a shiver down me. They began getting into their trucks, leaving us to grieve. My knees began to shake and Rick pulled himself off the ground and put an arm around me, helping me stand. I pulled him into a embrace and I felt whole, like a piece of me was returned after being absent for so long.
"I'm–I'm."
"It's not your fault." He put a hand on the back of my head and ran his fingers through my hair, consoling me. I pulled from the tight embrace and began staggering towards the group and stumbled, my hands retuning to the sharp pebbles. Rick tried to stop the impact from the fall but didn't move quick enough.
"Are you okay?" His voice shaking as he and Aaron helped me up, guiding me to sit in front of everyone. Looking around, I immediately knew I was an outsider, I would have to win back everyone's trust, and even the people I didn't know, it was going to one of the hardest things I've ever done.
"Maggie." I turned to see Maggie struggle to pull herself from the gravel and began to head towards Glenn.
"You need to sit down." I choked out. She fell to her knees beside Glenn and began to whimper. Maggie was one of the strongest people I knew, and to see her like this—destroyed in front of my eyes made me feel so much worse. I should've done something—anything to stop Negan. Looking back to it, I should've done something, I yearned to be able to go back in time. I should've followed Rick that night, I never should've tried to look for Shane. Reminded of the loss, I looked up to Rick, were these the only people alive? Carol, Andrea, Lori, Beth–where are they?
"You have to go and get ready." Maggie said in between breaths.
"Ready for what?" Rick asked.
"To fight. You can't be out here—" She covered her eyes as she sobbed out.
"You have to get to the Hilltop. Alice, she needs to go to the Hilltop." Rick said, looking over to me. If I looked as bad as I felt, I definitely needed to go.
"I'll take them." A woman said, standing up from the gravel road. It was the woman who cried out when the redhead was picked. Maybe she was his girlfriend?
"I'm taking them." She repeated, looking to Maggie.
"I–I want to take him." Maggie sobbed out, looking at Glenn's body. I couldn't bare to look at it, his head was just a mop of hair and a pile of blood and his flesh, we couldn't even look at his face. A sob emerged from my lips and I covered my mouth, ashamed that I was crying–I didn't deserve to.

Maggie fell back to Glenn and tried to lift his body, her shoulders gave out from the weight and she laid her head on his chest, clutching to his shirt as she wailed. Tears were blurring my vision as I looked away,trying to hold them in. My eyelids felt like weights as I stared into the morning sky, trying to get the will to console Maggie without breaking down.

I knelt behind her and put a hand on her shoulder–I couldn't think of what to say.
"I have to do this." She choked out, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Let us help you." Aaron said, kneeling beside Maggie and I.
"He's–he's our family too." Rick said, putting a hand on Maggie's shoulder.
"I got it." Carl whispered to Maggie as he knelt down, grabbing underneath Glenn. She stood up and hugged Carl, sobbing and wiping her nose. The men knelt down and lifted Glenn and began carrying Glenn to the RV. Maggie pulled herself up and stared at the stained gravel, taking her head in her hands and wailing. She hugged me as tight as she could as she weeped.

--
Aaron pulled the small mattress down and helped me lay down. I looked at Maggie, who had just laid down on the other small mattress across from me– I felt ashamed, like I didn't deserve the care I was receiving.
"I'm okay." I muttered, sitting on the edge of the mattress and looking to the floor of the RV. So many questions were spiraling through my thoughts, so many things I wanted to ask, but this wasn't the time. I stared at the small coat that covered Glenn's head and began to think about the old days.

**
"Are you okay?" Glenn asked as he moved his flashlight towards me.
"I don't know." He sighed and shrugged his jacket on, handing me one of his sweatshirts from the trunk of his car.
"Thanks." I muttered as I pulled it over my head. We began walking through the abandoned neighborhood, trying to go back to my home.
"I think we should leave Atlanta." Glenn said as he looked to the disastrous place I used to call home.
"We can, just not today. I'm exhausted." It was true, we had looked all day for my brother Aaron. I was discouraged and heavy hearted.
"Hey, don't give up just yet. We'll find him." He patted my back and smiled as we walked up the steps of my home.
"Goodnight Alice." Glenn muttered as he plopped on my couch, laying his baseball cap on my coffee table. I walked upstairs and laid down, thinking of my brother as I dozed off.

"We're here." Rick muttered as he turned of the engine of the vehicle. I was shaken for the memory and looked up to Aaron, who was helping the two women and the man carrying the red headed man out of the RV.

-
"Dr. Carson." Rick nodded as he greeted the man, wanting to keep the talk short. He helped Maggie onto a cot and Jesus appeared.
"Alice?" He said with a worried look on his face as he saw me. When I looked at the reflection of me from the metal table I was shocked. My eyes were sunk in and dropping also blood red from all the crying I've done, my cheeks were pale, and my lips were a light purple, I didn't look like myself.
"Let me take you somewhere more comfortable." He put an arm on my shoulder as he walked me to a small trailer, helping me onto a bed.
"Are you okay? What the hell happened?" A tear rolled down my cheek as I began to speak.
"Negan. He killed– I started, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. he killed him."
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Hey guys. I hope this chapter makes up for the previous ones, I felt really inspired today and even watched the premiere of season seven to try to interpret the emotions of everyone. Let me know what you think. :)