Music To My Ears ~ Bucky x Reader

Chapter 25

A/N: shoutout to the people who have voted for like every chapter. You all make my day when I see it in my notifications. And the people who vote like hours after I update make me smile! Thank you!!! hope this is good for you x
It took so long because I've been busy sorryyy. I'm seeing the weeknd tonight so that's got me all excited. Anyway enjoy this short chapter... :/

• love that's worth fighting for •

[Y/N]'s POV
To be honest I didn't know what I was doing. A boy loves me. But he tried to kill me.
All i'm seeing is his pain. His shivering figure in the centre of the ship. Something had caused Natasha to sit up straighter. I knew that as I felt her tense.
So I slipped one earphone out and listened to their whisper shouting. Then I heard it.
"No. You terrified her! Leave her be for a little bit. She needs chance to calm down. I mean you did nearly shoot the girl. Imagine if-"
"Shut up!" He cut her off and I heard shuffling and a few pained sobs.
I pushed Natasha off me and lunges forward. I quickly slipped my earphones out and placed them gently in his. Tucking his long hair behind his ear, and wiping a few stray tears away with the pad of my thumb. And I stared sadly at the mess of a man before me.
He was so upset.
I wanted to cuddle him. I wanted to have him near me. But I am scared.
And Natasha and even Steve don't agree with that. They say I should keep my distance. For safety and my own mental stability. But i'm not stable without him. And I can clearly see it's the same for him.
But he can be triggered by the most random words, and what if his mission is to kill me. I wouldn't be able to take him. I could defeat him, I am stronger with my upper hand of my powers, but I'd look into his eyes and freeze. Then let him do what he wanted.

• and how, how could I want more than the warmth of your kiss? •

Time flew by and the thoughts whizzed round. I could see Natasha staring at me. She was sat with Steve and they both were talking. About what happened and what to do most likely.
I silently skipped a few songs for Bucky and then let Wynonna Judd play, and, despite my fatigue, I concentrated on Natasha's thoughts.
"Natasha?" I reached out. I watched her nudge Steve and he shut up instantly. I moved away from Bucky slightly as his breathing was calming down.
"[Y/N]?" She replied. "Why would you do that" she sounded angry almost, well as angry as thoughts can be.
"I couldn't leave him like that"
"Why?" She asked.
"I love him"
She sighed and looked at me with sad eyes. She was hesitating to say/think anything back to me. Meanwhile Steve was glancing between the two of us. I concentrated more and reached out to him.
"Steve?"
"[Y/N]?" He said aloud. This caused Bucky to look up but he shook his head then settled down again.
"Steve, shhh. Think your reply. I can hear you"
"Ohhh" he thought. Then he winked at me but quickly shook his head and pretended like he didn't do anything. Natasha looked at him, knowing I was there instead. She whispered something in his ear, then I heard "why didn't you let me deal with him?"
"I love him, you were taking to long"
"He tried to kill you. And you never gave me a chance"
"He didn't mean it Steve. You know him"
"Yeah I know him. And I know how he can be sometimes"
"What are you saying?" Steve looked down and ignored my question. "What are you hiding from me?!" I finally reached out.
"No. No I mean- it's really it's not my business. Just watch out [N/N]. He's a sweet man, very sensitive. But he sometimes doesn't think. And that makes him dangerous"
"So am I, Steve" then I cut our connection and went back to Natasha. I saw Steve strain but then he realised I had gone, and he put his head down.
"[Y/N]?"
"Yes"
"You cut Steve off"
"Yes"
"Look i'm sorry, but i'm your friend. And I care"
"I know" I replied sadly. "But I've never loved someone like this"
"Because you've never had the chance to. You've been used, abused even. You haven't lived a normal life where you get the chance to do that. And it's not your fault"
"But Bucky has and he loves me"
"He had a life in 1944. When there was a war [Y/N]. Of corse he loves quick. He's scared he might die. Or that he will turn again. Why'd you think he used to pick up all those girls?"
I paused taking it in. Until Natasha tried again. "Look-"
"Surely he can't have loved all of them. Plus we haven't done anything like that Nat"
She went quiet then. She whispered to Steve and I sat and watched. He nodded his head and replied. Then I heard her again.
"Don't you think it's been going fast?"
"I don't know a normal speed. I'm fine with it"
Natasha sighed. "Do you think it's real?"
"With all my heart"
"Then neither of us can do anything. We both knew as soon as you ran to him you will end up forgiving him. So you listen to me, now. If he messes you around he will hear it from the both of us. And I want updates. I really just need you to be happy, you deserve it. Just- Make sure he treats you right okay." And then she put 2 fingers to her eyes and pointed them at Bucky. Which made us both chuckle.
Then Bucky shuffles around so I quickly put my hand in his cheek and rubbed it ever so softly. I placed a quick kiss on his forehead. I knew it might be wrong. But he needed me. So I stayed close. Not close enough to cuddle or to even brush arms. But close enough for him to know I was there.

• volume ~ 7 •