Music To My Ears ~ Bucky x Reader

Chapter 52

I survived bitches.
This chapter is dedicated to SammaJosee a dedicated reader n writer. Check this angel out will ya
A/N: last chapter was intense I'm sorry. And I hate the way I have always intended to end this book. But I want to follow the way good old prepubescent me intended. In honour of the years I spent writing my life away, for you. I don't know what brought my back here, I reread every chapter. Followed my own hints. And I'm here to bring justice to this book. Have it end. Finally.
I wrote this a good few times and couldn't really perfect it. I might come back to that one day. But for now! We move on!
Welcome back. Let's end this

• ... •

It had been several hours since Bucky was taken away. Steve, Clint and Wanda all fled together. They came here as hero's, after saving the world from ultron's grasp. They left as criminals for fighting back... for what they believe in.
It made me feel like I should have fought for him. For us. For my own freedom and rights. Was I really being controlled by the new rules? Or does that not even matter, for nothing will grasp me like the nightmares that was my old boss.
Yet all that aside I just watched him go... the love of my life, my lifeline even. I didn't have the strength to reply to his question, so probably thinks I sent him away. That I maybe did it out of spite of his desperate actions. The actions that drove me to.. well.. you know.
No one could blame me. I knew that. Yet deep in my heart, my soul, I couldn't blame him either. Bucky is not a bad guy, not an ounce in his fibre and being is bad. Or has ever treat me ill, until a mere moment ago. I was a war in myself for hurting him so bad. Nothing I can do now. If I break the contract I'm on The run again. I'm alone in the world, and the boss is right there.... waiting for his moment to pounce. To regain his two precious toys, assassins, monsters. The perfect, sickly couple.
I felt this heavy pit in my stomach. Something was coming. Something bigger than what nick and I had predicted. But that didn't matter anymore, these spiralling thoughts were interrupted by a lowlife who ran away my only hope, my boyfriend. Ex boyfriend.
"Good riddance" The agent muttered under his breath. I didn't have the motivation to throw him back. So I shot him a cold glare, much harsher than anything my brain could do. "Go back to whence you came, evil." I cooed back, dragging out my words, emphasis on the syllables. Then not hesitating to storm out.
And of course, the first person I bumped into was my old friend, Tony.
"You made the right choice [N/N]..." he sighed and ran his fingers through his own brown locks. Catching my gaze, craving human contact so bad I wish were my own [H/C] hair.
"Let's hope You're right" I almost growled back, my teeth grit and ready to jump like the tigress stalking the night. I was chasing justice and my god, I would catch my prey soon. One way or another, this will end. And I will be the bitch to end it.
And off I went, on my mission. Barging past Tony, hitting his shoulder as I finally recreated the dramatic exit I had hoped to bring a few days prior, in a weakened state.
Slamming the door behind me, causing no one to flinch but the weak minded agent, whomst I had sent trembling in our meeting. 'Good' I thought to myself and smirked. Even after leaving, through the closed door, I could hear the team arguing. I cannot lie, it felt like a stab in the heart. Nick had warned me, and I still had failed. I wasn't about to fail again.
My actions were heated, mindless almost, but somehow I had marched up the stairs and into nicks office. Calling out to Friday to lock the door, let no one enter, not even nick himself.
Reluctantly, she complied. Thanking nick for the override of system, and for the obvious loop hole.
"Friday." I called out once more. Sitting in nicks old leather desk chair, cracking my knuckles.
"Yes [Y/N]?" She called back.
"Give me every file you have on James Buchanan Barnes. And read these. Give me the lowdown on what's in them. Spare no detail you deem important." I replied, plugging in the stolen hard drive. And watching holographic files appear in my face all about the man I loved.
Sure, it might be wrong to stalk your ex boyfriends files about his super secret assassin lifestyle, but hey don't we all stalk guys on Facebook? Same right?
That's what it felt like, until I saw that mission report crop up again.
I knew deep down in my bones that he did it, I saw it in Tony's mind, yet... part of me thought it was fabricated. Like Tony wanted it to be my Bucky, since Bucky is Steve's best friend. The same Steve who his father abandoned him for. And for that hatred and desire of revenge, maybe his mind had fabricated it. But nonetheless we know that man is intelligent playboy yada yada. Part of me knew even Tony can't do that.
Alas, I still had hope I was right.
And with a deep breath I read it.
With each passing word on the hologram, a striking new image came into view. And I wasn't entirely sure if the imagery was in my own mind, or on display for all to see. Remembering the sickening words I'd said to my lover. The things I made him see.
But I pushed through the guilt, I watched the motorcycle cause that crash. I watched him check Tony's father was dead, I watched his hand wrap around Tony's mother's throat. That gentle loving woman's throat. Making sure his job was finished. Then he simply went to the boot of the car, not a crack of emotion on his eyes. But I saw right through those eyes, those kind eyes... that was my man. Bucky knew what he was doing, it was plain to see. But he couldn't escape it, brainwashed. I swore I saw tears threatening to fall, but I wasn't sure if they were my own.
I reached out, holding by hands through the holographic pictures of the man I loved, trying to caress his face. Tell him to shave, and giggle with him. To hold him close like I used to. Like I longed to.
But with that touch it all disappeared.
"It really was him" I whispered, "I need to tell Tony-" I began once more. Almost standing up. Then realising that's an impossible task.
That man is looking for one reason, one excuse to break, so he could snap at this man.
And with those thoughts came a daunting realisation...
"Brown hair..." I exclaimed. "My master has brown hair!!"
Furrowing my brows, pushing 2 fingers against my temples. Focus [Y/N], focus!!
// "don't worry" the man cooed, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my [loved ones] ear. "We will take good care of your precious weapon"
Then he turned to me, with this smirk that sent shivers down my spine\\
"Brown hair..." i almost screamed, pacing the room at this point. "Brown eyes!!" I gasped. Pausing for a moment, smiling in excitement even though my discovery was morbid. Then one came through that confused me "Nemo..?"
But with no time to think. FRIDAY informed me of a disturbance in the lower floor. Calling it a code red, and urging me to go down as an alarm went off. Yet over the alarms glaring tone, I could hear gunfire, raining havoc over my own people.
"He's here" I whispered, sinking into myself slowly...

• volume ~ 16 ~ full •